lucas7419 is offline lucas7419 Post #1  June 11,2010, 6:21am
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Ok since all my friends are married, I need some advice to sort through on this. The girl I was asking about we have gone out 4 of the last 5 days and everything is going great. She has asked for me to send her a pic for her phone and told her mom about me. She is even picking me up at the airport next Friday when I get back in town. Then she is going to my friend's surprise b-day party with me.
Remember it has been 15 years since I had to date
I have been dating several girls and would think this one (who I like a lot and we fit better than the others) she is wanting this to be exclusive. First problem is prob assuming but I went to the other site today to see her pic and it showed she had been on in the last 24 hrs. Am I over thinking this or what is your guys/gals take on it. After I kissed her everything has been great. Just curious. Or should I ask if we are going to or is it to soon to ask that? This dating is so confusing
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  June 11,2010, 6:45am
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lucas7419 wrote :
I have been dating several girls and would think this one (who I like a lot and we fit better than the others) she is wanting this to be exclusive. First problem is prob assuming but I went to the other site today to see her pic and it showed she had been on in the last 24 hrs. Am I over thinking this or what is your guys/gals take on it. After I kissed her everything has been great. Just curious. Or should I ask if we are going to or is it to soon to ask that? This dating is so confusing
What makes you think she wants to be exclusive?
 
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jayhawkgirl is offline jayhawkgirl Post #3  June 11,2010, 6:48am
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I wouldn't make assumptions either way about why she had been active on the dating site within the last 24 hours---maybe she was looking at your profile!

It's awfully early to be exclusive (five days isn't long, even though you have seen each other four times), but not unheard of. I would just have an honest conversation with her about it. Something like, "You may not be ready to be exclusive, and that's ok, but I wanted you to know I'm not interested in seeing anyone else right now." Or, "I thought I'd take my profile off, since I'm not interested in seeing anyone else. You may not be ready to do that, but I just wanted you to know." That way you're not pressuring her, but are letting her know you view her as someone special. Her reaction will tell you a lot. But don't worry if she doesn't immediately respond in kind....just give it some time. If, after another two or three weeks she hasn't indicated she's also not interested in seeing anyone else, that's different.
 
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lucas7419 is offline lucas7419 Post #4  June 11,2010, 7:14am
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TheThinker wrote :
What makes you think she wants to be exclusive?
Why pick me up at the airport? Or ask for a pic? Or tell your mom about me? Like I said been a long time maybe I am reading too much into actions. My last date I was 19. This isn't high school anymore. All new to me right now.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #5  June 11,2010, 7:17am
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there are a million reasons to be on a dating site, that doesn't include picking up more guys. First, like jayhawkgirl said, she was probably looking at your picture... if you're honest with yourself, you were also on the site looking at her profile as well... right? Why is she bad for doing the same thing. Next, she could have been responding to email, responding with a "no thanks" or other message saying she's not interested or trying something new. Just because you begin a relationship with someone, doesn't mean you immediately shut down your profile.

I don't think it's too soon to be in an exclusive relationship if she doesn't think it's too soon and if you don't as well. Only the two people involved can tell when it's right for them. I'd just have an honest conversation with her to let her know how you feel. Doesn't have to be all dramatic, just tell her you would prefer to focus on her, and get to know her better and wanted to find out if she wanted the same.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #6  June 11,2010, 7:30am
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lucas7419 wrote :
Why pick me up at the airport? Or ask for a pic? Or tell your mom about me? Like I said been a long time maybe I am reading too much into actions.
I agree w/ jayhawkgirl in that you shouldn't assume anything right now, just ask her if that's on her mind, or not.
 
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lucas7419 is offline lucas7419 Post #7  June 11,2010, 9:36am
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jussmile wrote :
there are a million reasons to be on a dating site, that doesn't include picking up more guys. First, like jayhawkgirl said, she was probably looking at your picture... if you're honest with yourself, you were also on the site looking at her profile as well... right? Why is she bad for doing the same thing. Next, she could have been responding to email, responding with a "no thanks" or other message saying she's not interested or trying something new. Just because you begin a relationship with someone, doesn't mean you immediately shut down your profile.

I don't think it's too soon to be in an exclusive relationship if she doesn't think it's too soon and if you don't as well. Only the two people involved can tell when it's right for them. I'd just have an honest conversation with her to let her know how you feel. Doesn't have to be all dramatic, just tell her you would prefer to focus on her, and get to know her better and wanted to find out if she wanted the same.
Yes that was why I went to the site this morning. Cause I won't see her til Sunday after I drop my kids off. I mean I had fun with the other girls and they are interesting but this one I have connected with in a differ way and believe she has. Just not sure of what I read.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #8  June 11,2010, 11:52am
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lucas7419 wrote :
Ok since all my friends are married, I need some advice to sort through on this. The girl I was asking about we have gone out 4 of the last 5 days and everything is going great. She has asked for me to send her a pic for her phone and told her mom about me. She is even picking me up at the airport next Friday when I get back in town. Then she is going to my friend's surprise b-day party with me.
Remember it has been 15 years since I had to date
I have been dating several girls and would think this one (who I like a lot and we fit better than the others) she is wanting this to be exclusive. First problem is prob assuming but I went to the other site today to see her pic and it showed she had been on in the last 24 hrs. Am I over thinking this or what is your guys/gals take on it. After I kissed her everything has been great. Just curious. Or should I ask if we are going to or is it to soon to ask that? This dating is so confusing
Maybe she logged onto the site to see your picture? It sounds like things are going great. Who cares if you officially exclusive or not? Enjoy her company and show her you want to continue being with her.
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #9  June 11,2010, 9:10pm
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lucas7419 wrote :
Ok since all my friends are married, I need some advice to sort through on this. The girl I was asking about we have gone out 4 of the last 5 days and everything is going great. She has asked for me to send her a pic for her phone and told her mom about me. She is even picking me up at the airport next Friday when I get back in town. Then she is going to my friend's surprise b-day party with me.
Remember it has been 15 years since I had to date
I have been dating several girls and would think this one (who I like a lot and we fit better than the others) she is wanting this to be exclusive. First problem is prob assuming but I went to the other site today to see her pic and it showed she had been on in the last 24 hrs. Am I over thinking this or what is your guys/gals take on it. After I kissed her everything has been great. Just curious. Or should I ask if we are going to or is it to soon to ask that? This dating is so confusing
It's always hard when we see people we like still logging onto the dating site we met on. I always tell myself that they are logging in to check my profile, even if it's not true it makes me feel better.

If you've spent that much time together, I'd just keep the communication going and keep progressing. I think it's a little early to have the exclusivity discussion so enjoy what you have and keep in touch while you are gone.
 
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waltercl is offline waltercl Post #10  June 11,2010, 9:34pm
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I agree that it's best not to assume that she wants to be exclusive even if all the signs are pointing in that direction. That's a conversation that will probably happen naturally so I'd just let it happen.

I also agree to not over-think the logging into a dating site. Worst case scenario at this point would be that even though she is really into you at the moment she can't be 100% sure how things are going to be so she isn't going to completely close any doors just yet. And keep in mind I'm saying that is worst case. It could be a number of other things.
 
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