TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #1  June 9,2010, 5:11pm
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I did a search, but didn't see anything recent on this.

What are your thoughts on dating people with STDs?

Have you ever dated anyone with any STD? How did it change your life?

Have you ever rejected dating someone for this reason?

Do certain infections/diseases affect your decision more? (would you be open to dating someone with certain infections, but not others?)

If you have an STD, when have you revealed it to a potential partner? What reactions have you gotten?

What did I miss? All discussion welcome.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  June 9,2010, 5:14pm
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I would not knowingly date a person with an infectious disease (and other conditions outside the scope of your question.)

A few profiles disclose, which I close.

I can't say I would consider different diseases differently - each would be an unnecessary risk.
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #3  June 9,2010, 5:31pm
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No, I would not date someone with an STD. It is expected by most that any such disease needs to be disclosed to potential partners.

I am of the belief that people with STD's should seek out others with STD's and not disease-free people.

I have no exceptions to this rule. The risk is too great and the consequences too unpleasant and serious.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #4  June 9,2010, 5:39pm
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There was a period of time in which I was concerned that I might have an STD... I'd only ever had one sexual partner, and I'd trusted him at the time (we were together 6 months), but after he left I suddenly realized how unsafe I'd been with him (as it occurred to me that he'd probably never been tested). [Note: We were using birth control methods that did not prevent STDs.]

And I realized that if I had something incurable like herpes, well, it wasn't the end of the world. A lot of people never manifest symptoms, and it's estimated that 1 in 5 American adults has it, anyway. (I read that it's 1 in 2 for black women, one of the highest-risk groups, and lower for men in general.) I turned out to be 100% clean, but it changed the way I think about STDs a little. They may be stigmatized and scary, but as long as you don't get HIV (and aren't pregnant), they aren't generally something you ought to flip about.

Hmm. So I think it increased my tolerance a bit. However, it'd still be a really hard decision, to knowingly sleep with someone who has something infectious, I admit.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #5  June 9,2010, 5:40pm

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i would not date someone with herpes or hiv.

I would date someone who had had a curable STD, provided he is cured and the other STD tests are negative.

i think we are really only talking about herpes and hiv here- chances are some of us have dated someone who has has a STD that has been cured and doens't mention it.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #6  June 9,2010, 6:15pm
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A better question--would you date someone who had herpes type 1? You can get genital herpes from oral if they've ever had cold sores in their mouth, you know!

From a doctor posting on Dan Savage's online column:

"It used to be that HSV I was responsible for oral herpes (cold sores), and a different virus, HSV II, was responsible for genital herpes. It was always known that sometimes you got HSV I genitally and HSV II orally, but that was unusual. In diagnosing and treating genital herpes, doctors don't typically subtype, because you treat both the same.

In recent studies, though, researchers were surprised to find that HSV I is now as common as HSV II in genital lesions. What this means is that people (mostly women) are getting genital herpes from oral sex with a partner who has an oral infection of HSV I. Not too long ago, just about everyone (90+ percent of adults) had oral HSV I, so their activated immune systems protected them from getting it genitally (but didn't cross-protect against HSV II). Now it's more common not to ever get oral HSV I, but those individuals are at risk for contracting it, either genitally or orally, from a partner.

Unfortunately, there's not much you can really do to protect yourself, since the virus is transmissible even when the infected partner doesn't have a cold sore. The infected partner can take an anti-viral every day, outbreak or not, and that's pretty good protection, but expensive and annoying.

Anyway, just wanted to help get the word out, because this has to be a very common cause of fights and breakups-a monogamous woman suddenly turns up with genital herpes, and both sides assume the other cheated..."

http://www.thestranger.com/savage/herpes
Last edited by chimerical; June 9,2010 at 7:05pm. Reason: More info
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #7  June 9,2010, 6:17pm
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No, I wouldn't date someone with a STD. I was talking via phone to someone who had disclosed this information to me. I was not interested in furthering the interactions. I did refer her to PositiveSingles.com - STD, Herpes, HPV, HIV/AIDS, HPV dating, STD dating, Herpes dating, STD singles, Herpes picture, STD relationship, STD match, STD marriage. though.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #8  June 9,2010, 6:46pm
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And now I'm wondering: All y'all who wouldn't knowingly date someone with an STD, how safe are you with new partners? Would you have oral sex without a condom? (Or dental dam on a woman?) Or would you need them to be tested before you did anything, whether using protection or not?

Would be interesting to know...
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #9  June 9,2010, 7:44pm
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How hot is she?
 
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