Thanking your date


View Poll Results: The after date thank you
Yes, thank the date the next day. 22 88.00%
No, do not thank the date the next day. 2 8.00%
I don't care either way. 1 4.00%
Voters: 25. You may not vote on this poll

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nightling is offline nightling Post #1  June 7,2010, 6:15pm
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Please only vote in the poll if you are a guy. Thanks.


My question is not whether to thank the date. I always thank the date of course. But the question is, how do you view it if the date thanked you on the date and then sends an email note the next day thanking you.

Do you see that note as her chasing you around, hinting at another date?

And if so, does a Sadie Hawkins move kill your interest in dating her?


The Have Him at Hello Book says this is basically a Sadie Hawkins move and that based on her interviews with men, girl chasing guy kills their interest in dating a woman. The author says you should of course thank the guy at the end of the date but just leave it at that. No thank you note the next day, bc your date is a big boy and he'll ask you out again if he's interested.

So guys ... true? Not true? Do you see the next day thank you note as a sneaky hint to ask the girl out again or just the girl bein polite?

Women feel free to chime in as to whether you do or don't send a thank you the next day as well as having thanked him at the end of the date and the results you experienced, but largely, I'm interested in the male perspective on it.
Last edited by nightling; June 8,2010 at 3:14pm. Reason: clarifying the question
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #2  June 7,2010, 6:22pm
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Not a male... but, I most definitely DO thank my date in a follow-up email (even text seems too impersonal).

I believe that it is a sign of appreciation, and whether I'm interested in another date or not, I make sure that he knows that I enjoyed our time (if I did) or that I appreciate the dinner, drink, glass of water or conversation. No sneakiness involved, and I normally do it at the end of the date, once I get home. And, if I do want to go out with him again, I'll tell him (just like I would have told him after the date).

I have found that the guys I date really appreciate that follow-up, whether they go out with you again or not.
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #3  June 7,2010, 6:24pm
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nightling wrote :
So I'm reading in the Have Him at Hello Book that sending a thank you text/email/phone call the next day after the date is a Sadie Hawkins move, and that it's viewed as chasing the guy. Ie, a sneaky way to hint they should ask you out for another date, and that hence they don't like it. The author says you should just thank the guy at the end of the date and leave it at that, bc your date is a big boy and he'll ask you out again if he's interested.

So guys ... true? Not true? Do you see it as a sneaky hint to ask the girl out again or just the girl bein polite?

Women feel free to chime in as to whether you do or don't send a thank you and the results you experienced, but largely, I'm interested in the male perspective on it.

Please only vote in the poll if you are a guy. Thanks.

I agree with this.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #4  June 7,2010, 6:25pm
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I always send a thank you email (even if I paid for all or half of it)... telling him I enjoyed the date (assuming I did), and usually asking a question or two to keep the communication going.

I can't imagine a guy resenting getting a "thank you" for a date and thinking it is a 'sneaky ploy' to get him to ask me out again! I don't think it works that way and will be really surprised if any guys on here agree that it does.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #5  June 7,2010, 6:27pm
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I thank her the night of the date and if I want to see her again I make plans that night if possible at least tentative plans.
 
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2clueless is offline 2clueless Post #6  June 7,2010, 6:48pm
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I offer sincere thanks at the end of the date because of the time spent and that's that. Usually, people thank me back. I don' t see the need for another round of thanks that next day. I might contact him that next day for something else if it is on my mind but for the express purpose of saying thanks once again, no.

Contacting someone after the date can be seen as a prod--and both men and women, I would imagine, sometimes use it as such whether they are saying thank you, thinking of you, or let's do this again.
 
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cal_dude is offline cal_dude Post #7  June 7,2010, 6:49pm
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I send a thank-you note (personal, not a form letter ) within 24 hours. If no similar reply in 2 days, I close.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #8  June 7,2010, 6:57pm
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I would take the thank you at face value.

I wouldn't view it as a solicitation of any kind.

I don't even think that it means that she was really into me. She could still be mulling that one over anyway.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #9  June 7,2010, 7:00pm
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cal_dude wrote :
I send a thank-you note (personal, not a form letter) within 24 hours. If no similar reply in 2 days, I close.
Dear Cal_dude:

Thank you for your post.

Laced
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #10  June 7,2010, 7:07pm
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Wow, really?

Well, of the women who have thanked me for a date, the majority of them (75 plus percent) thanked me right after the date, and the rest thanked me the next day.

I guess for women it's a tricky proposition to thank a guy for a date if you're not interested in a future date, thus this issue over when to thank him to avoid sending the wrong message.

If I were a guy and my date thanked me the next day -- Yes, I would assume she would be interested in another date unless she stated to the contrary. However, if she thanked me immediately after the date I don't think that would tell me anything about her future interest.
 
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