Do women ever want to be friends first?


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Shepherd3597 is offline Shepherd3597 Post #1  June 7,2010, 1:40pm
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Do women ever want to be friends first? This girl I have been getting to know for two months is hard to understand. She texts me every day. Wants to talk a couple of times a week for hours. He behavior confused me so much about a month ago I had to tell her she needed to chose if she wanted to be just friends or casually date to get to know each other. She said date. After two months I had noticed she never says anything kind about me and was suspicious she is like this with everyone. It is not that she is mean she just never tells you anything she appreciates about you. So I asked her about it in a round about way and she tells me I should not pressure her to have feelings for me?????????? She just seems very guarded. Yet she contacts me every day. She said she needs time for feelings to develop and says she now wants to be friends for now. The thing is it feels like she really wants more than that. I have told her it is fine if she has no feelings for me just tell me and I can handle that but she replies she is just not ready to talk about her feelings for me. She says wants to be friends for now. So my question is is it legitimate to not worry what we call it but just keep pursing her and see what happens or am I being a fool to do that? Or should I either limit the time I allow her to connect with me or just say goodbye to her?
 
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Andie0264 is offline Andie0264 Post #2  June 7,2010, 1:56pm
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if you want to, and think you can, just be friends with her. But don't put the rest of your dating life on hold waiting for her. Continue to date. Right now it seems like she's got you in the friend zone. I remain convinced that the friend zone doesn't mean forever. But if you haven't kissed or anything after 2 months (and I'm assuming that based on the way your email reads) then I'd say friend zone.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #3  June 7,2010, 2:32pm
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Shepherd3597 wrote :
After two months I had noticed she never says anything kind about me and was suspicious she is like this with everyone.
Why would you want to have a relationship with a person like this?
 
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dating_for_love is offline dating_for_love Post #4  June 7,2010, 3:15pm
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whether she just wants to be friends or not, it seems like you want to be more than friends. So, if you want to be more than friends why would you want a relationship with someone that does not show any awareness for your appreciable points? Do you want to be a doormat?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  June 7,2010, 3:16pm
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meh it depends on what you are looking for.

if you would be happy with a friend if nothing else works out, leave it as it is.

most of all, dont feel like you need to not date others then. if you decided that you wanted to do that i would make sure that she knows. but yeah she shouldnt have a problem with it imo
 
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chemgal is offline chemgal Post #6  June 7,2010, 3:32pm
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I have, on occasion, developed romantic feelings for friends; however, I wouldn't say "let's be friends first" to a guy I was interested in.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #7  June 7,2010, 8:23pm
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Take away the word "first" from the statement, "I just want to be friends first" and you have your answer.

Interestingly enough, her wanting to be friends with you is also a lie, because friends don't treat each other the way she is treating you.

Her feelings for you are putting you on a backburner... you're a B or C choice. She will never tell you that, because if she did, then she wouldn't have you to use for her own purposes. But she will tell you the moment she meets someone else, because you're her "friend" and then will apologize to you.

My advice would be the next time she calls, tell her you are really busy or that you need some space. And then a few days later, tell her things aren't working out. Let it end on your terms.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #8  June 7,2010, 8:56pm
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>Do women ever want to be friends first?



Lots of women will say they do, but in reality the answer is "no." I'm on a dating site looking for someone to date, not looking for male "friends." And the friend-into-lover scenario is talked about a lot more than it actually happens.
 
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Avalon1k is offline Avalon1k Post #9  June 7,2010, 9:46pm
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Iconography wrote :
Why would you want to have a relationship with a person like this?

I agree....even my friends compliment me. I think she has issues.
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #10  June 8,2010, 12:22am
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Lots of women will say they do, but in reality the answer is "no."
And Bingo was his name, oh!
 
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