Scared to mention this...and when do I?


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Amarok is offline Amarok Post #1  June 6,2010, 7:02pm
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Due to unfortunate circumstances last year (loss of job, going through a divorce), I am now renting a house with my mom and sharing her car while trying to get back on my feet. Should I tell guys this up front? Will this be a dealbreaker? I feel like such a loser but I don't know what else to do. I feel at this rate I will never find someone. Thanks guys
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #2  June 6,2010, 7:11pm
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It either is, or it isn't ... no sense worrying about it.

Me personally, I wouldn't care.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #3  June 6,2010, 7:13pm
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ThePriestess wrote :
It either is, or it isn't ... no sense worrying about it.

.
This is true.
You see, you are trying to sell yourself (not in that way).
If this person is not interested in who you are. Let them walk.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #4  June 6,2010, 7:17pm
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Given your situation and the fact that you are worried about it, why not simply put dating on hold till you are back on your feet.

One reason is practicality: you need to get yourself financially sound first. This means not spending money unnecessarily. Paying bills needs to come before paying on a date.

Another reason: the fact that you are worried about it has a negative effect on your confidence, which will show through on a date to begin with.

Get your life together first on your own, then worry about finding a date or a relationship.
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #5  June 6,2010, 7:21pm
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Oregon_Coast_Guy wrote :
Given your situation and the fact that you are worried about it, why not simply put dating on hold till you are back on your feet.
Because there's always a reason to not pursue a relationship and instead work to improve ourselves elsewhere?

No reason she can't be open to the potential, even while she is struggling.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #6  June 6,2010, 7:48pm

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It's a fact of life right now for many of us..if your dates judge you because of this, they aren't for you.

I'm a mature (ahem) woman who is going to be living with her daughter & family for a few months. My reasons aren't the same as yours, but in neither case should it be necessary for the reason to be brought up during early casual dating.

Don't make excuses or even discuss it and try to get over yourself! Be glad you have someone who loves you and is supportive of you during this difficult time.

Since most casual dates are only 1-3 or so dates..there isn't a reason to have to invite the men over to your house. For the first couple of dates, many women choose to meet dates in a public place. Personally I drive myself to the meeting place for the first 3-4 dates and seldom invite a casual date to my home.

You are who you are - we need to accept each other for who we are-including dates. This isn't Disneyland!
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #7  June 6,2010, 7:50pm
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I am sorry about your situation. Don't feel the need to apologize for the circumstances. Clearly you are doing your best and apologizing won't really help.

I wouldn't mention all these details of your circumstances unless they come up or you are asked, particularly on a first date. Heck you don't know if you want to see him again, so why should you have to bare your soul completely at this point? I'm sure there are many difficulties he faces in life that he is not going to share on a first date.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #8  June 6,2010, 7:53pm
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Yay! spring has sprung.

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If someone only wants you when things are always great.
What kind of a partner would they be in a relationship?
 
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BackupRequested is offline BackupRequested Post #9  June 6,2010, 8:15pm
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I've mostly recovered from a broken leg from a few years ago and I'm temporarily limited in activity to an 8-hour day. Should I mention that in a profile or wait till communication starts? My profile lists the acitivities I love doing but I've not been running or jogging since the break.

Ex Sgt / E5 (Crypto tech)
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Amarok is offline Amarok Post #10  June 6,2010, 8:21pm
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Wow I feel better....thanks you guys.

Now if I could just learn how to work a dvd player without killing it I'll keep y'all posted......
 
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