How many times do you reschedule?


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cal_dude is offline cal_dude Post #1  June 5,2010, 8:56am
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Once in a while I get a match that agrees to a meeting, but later emails about a last minute work/ cold/ friend in trouble/ etc. I know such excuses could be real, or could be just a coward's way out. Usually I allow only one rescheduling for an average match, and two for a really good one. Unless of course I can clearly see that she feels a strong desire to meet (but those normally don't reschedule ).
What about you?
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  June 5,2010, 9:10am
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cal_dude wrote :
Once in a while I get a match that agrees to a meeting, but later emails about a last minute work/ cold/ friend in trouble/ etc. I know such excuses could be real, or could be just a coward's way out. Usually I allow only one rescheduling for an average match, and two for a really good one.
That was pretty much my approach. Though, I'd do the 2nd reschedule with a 'really good match' knowing full well that they were likely to flake again anyway. My feeling is.....once a person has canceled one time they should know to be extra careful when committing to the next date to be quite certain they'll be able to make it.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  June 5,2010, 9:25am
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In my experience, even one request to reschedule has meant a woman with little career accomplishment (probably the same class of person who takes a lot of sick days.)

I set my meetings for Friday or Saturday night, which ought to minimize interfering work obligations.

I agree that once, maybe twice, is reasonable.

Also, the person who broke the meeting needs to be offering a new time. When she treats you like an afterthought, it's better to just save you money for someone deserving.
 
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cal_dude is offline cal_dude Post #4  June 5,2010, 9:50am
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Thanks, sounds reasonable.

Maybe I should have also included a question to those who cancel -- am curious in their point of view. We can only guess
 
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shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #5  June 5,2010, 2:39pm
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jayjay wrote :
That was pretty much my approach. Though, I'd do the 2nd reschedule with a 'really good match' knowing full well that they were likely to flake again anyway. My feeling is.....once a person has canceled one time they should know to be extra careful when committing to the next date to be quite certain they'll be able to make it.
+1

Things can come up, so a first re-schedule is something I can deal with. If someone tries to re-schedule twice you really have to wonder what kind of person they really are and how serious they are about dating. It would have to be a really, really good match to go through two re-schedules for me.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #6  June 5,2010, 2:50pm

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My standard is two reschedules with reasonable answers. Three at the max.

I'd very likely stop at two if by the 2nd time she didn't offer options times/hours, etc.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #7  June 5,2010, 6:32pm
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cal_dude wrote :
Thanks, sounds reasonable.

Maybe I should have also included a question to those who cancel -- am curious in their point of view. We can only guess
If he cancels - I reschedule only once. If I cancel, I expect him to be willing to reschedule only once. Sometimes he doesn't reschedule at all.

I have cancelled and it was due to sickness (presumably he is not interested in meeting a date who can projectile vomit) or work. The cancellation due to work has always been because a major system crashed in one of my areas and I am 'on call' as a result to come in and liaise with several technology departments to work through it and arrange appropriate communications. I would consider that very rude behaviour to take that on the date with me, which is why I opt to reschedule.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #8  June 5,2010, 9:48pm
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If it's a first date i treat it differently than subsequent dates, but even then i've had enough last minute dire emergencies come up in my own life that i tend to be fairly laid back about rescheduling, if i'm really interested in someone then i'll take a few broken dates and won't automatically mark them down as a flake or a time waster until they make a career out of it, and even then if i'm interested enough it's not an automatic fail.
I tend to see it in the same light as all those threads about "The date ended three seconds ago and he/she hasn't called or emailed, are they really interested?" I've jumped to enough bad conclusions based on insufficient data in the past that i'll generally give the benefit of the doubt until no doubt remains.
 
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justmeguy is offline justmeguy Post #9  June 6,2010, 6:14am
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I will give the other person one free reschedule. However, I will be on the lookout for signs that the other person just isn't interested. Once the other person requests a reschedule, the ball is in their squarely in their court.

I suppose I have a hard time relating to canceled or rescheduled dates (early on in the dating process), since once I've committed to a date, there isn't a whole lot that will keep me from showing up when I said I would. Sure, things like family emergencies come up. But in my limited experience, I've had several women pull the "I'm not feeling well" line to cancel dates. For me, as long as I'm not violently ill (and/or contagious with something), I will make an effort to show up. We aren't talking about week long backpacking expedition... how well do you really have to be to sit and talk to me over a meal for an hour or two?

Unfortunately, this topic hits close to home today, as my previously scheduled date for today canceled on me last night (after I had to ask) due to "not feeling well." I don't have a reason to doubt her, and otherwise, her response indicated friendliness and interest to reschedule to another time. However, the last time I had the line used on me, the other person canceled a would-be first date twice and I never heard from her again. Unfortunately, I've gotten to the point where an early date (dates #1-3 or so) cancellation is a bad sign for me.
 
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dmi is online now dmi Post #10  June 6,2010, 6:40am
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I don't have any kind of set limit. It mostly depends on the impression I have of the person. I've had work interfere with my plans and had to reschedule, so, I don't read too much into a reschedule. But, if they offer no explanation or the I find the explanation difficult to accept, I won't even reschedule once.
 
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