IS HE USING ME TO GET A JOB?


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katiem4228 is offline katiem4228 Post #1  June 4,2010, 8:05am
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I met a great guy on here who is pursuing modeling and is doing pretty well at it. The problem is that I work in that industry and I am worried he is using me to get discovered.

He is alot more attractive then guys I normal date but comes across as very humble which I like. He never has asked me for any favors for his career and seems to being doing well, we really dont talk about it much.

Am I being paranoid or do you think I may be right? We have gone on four dates now and I am starting to really like him but I dont want to get hurt. Any advice?
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #2  June 4,2010, 8:14am
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If he's given you no reason to suspect he's job fishing, it seems like you're being paranoid.
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  June 4,2010, 8:22am
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Hi katiem!

From your post I see no reason to think he's trying to use you to get a job. He hasn't asked for any help. You just work in the same industry. Lots of couples do.

Is there anything else he's done that makes you suspect that? If not, I'd say you're being unnecessarily fearful. Do you think your feelings could be a response to how attractive you think he is? Beautiful people need love too!
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  June 4,2010, 9:20am
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Sounds like your own personal insecurities are bringing out some ugly in you.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #5  June 4,2010, 9:28am
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Let's see- he's attractive, humble, and hasn't asked for any favors.

Sure sounds like he's using you.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #6  June 4,2010, 9:42am
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Well if he is a smart con artist, he won't exactly come right out and ask you to help him. He'll wait until you are invested in him personally. So I get where you are coming from.

But sometimes the only real way to know what someone is like is to take the risk, wait and see what they are like.

Maybe just draw the lines in the sand for what's reasonable to do to help him and what's not, and then don't do any more than that.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #7  June 4,2010, 9:59am
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You have to give people the benefit of the doubt. I mean first off would it be so bad for him if he was really interested in dating you to come out later and ask for some help with his career? I mean that would seem only natural, if I was in a position to help my girlfriend get a job or advance in her career I certainly would help her and I wouldn't be afraid that she was dating me just for that job or career advancement.

If you like the guy, enjoy being around him, and trust that he is sincere than go with the flow. I think you are perhaps being a bit paranoid.
 
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Engineer is offline Engineer Post #8  June 4,2010, 11:19am
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This is tough one. I would decide once and for all that I would lend this person a hand with shaping their career independantly of the relationship. If the person stays or goes, there will be other reasons.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #9  June 4,2010, 12:55pm

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No I'm not taking advantage of you! You need to stop overanalyzing!
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #10  June 4,2010, 1:08pm
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mrflyer wrote :
Let's see- he's attractive, humble, and hasn't asked for any favors.

Sure sounds like he's using you.
yeah...sounds like a real shady character to me...
Last edited by TheThinker; June 4,2010 at 1:10pm. Reason: "Paranoia the destroy-yaaa!!..and it goes like this..."
 
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