Is my date interested in me?


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nightling is offline nightling Post #1  June 4,2010, 6:36am
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Ran across this article, which explains some of the interest signals and what's going on scientifically.

Do you two have chemistry?

Found this tidbit particularly interesting ...
wrote :
A stronger sign is that instead of feeling lust for your date, you’re overwhelmed by a feeling of familiarity — a sense of, “Gosh, I feel like I’ve known you before.” The chemistry at work, says Dr. Hendrix, “is due to the emotional center in your brain’s limbic system recognizing qualities in the person that resemble qualities about the caretakers we had during childhood.”
MIght be a good reason not to rely on instant chemistry ... particularly if your caretakers weren't all that.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #2  June 4,2010, 6:46am
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That might explain why some women are drawn to men who are mean to them.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  June 4,2010, 6:48am
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I saw the article on Yahoo but did not read it.

I have never been one to think that the instant spark was an indication of anything more than lust. I can attest that a feeling of familiarity brings about a feeling of comfort. And feeling comfortable with your date is very important.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  June 4,2010, 6:49am
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annother wrote :
That might explain why some women are drawn to men who are mean to them.
Could.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #5  June 4,2010, 6:55am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I saw the article on Yahoo but did not read it.

I have never been one to think that the instant spark was an indication of anything more than lust. I can attest that a feeling of familiarity brings about a feeling of comfort. And feeling comfortable with your date is very important.
I read everything.

But only post the ones that seem to offer a little more knowledge than usual. So I think this one is worth reading.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  June 4,2010, 11:01am
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I never had the “Gosh, I feel like I’ve known you before.” feeling. I have had the "I feel like I've known you a long time/all my life." feeling. Maybe that is the same thing?

I like the long term friendly chemistry now more than that instant click. I have to have that comfy feeling around the person I'm going to be doing more than just sitting on a couch with.
 
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tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #7  June 4,2010, 11:25am
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Interesting article. I am not sure if this is what they mean by familiarity but the guy I am seeing totally reminds me of my first love. Crazy things are alike. However, I think he does not have the qualities that caused me to break up with my first love.

I would say all the other criteria are met when I am with him. I am still in the not really hungry stage when I am around him and I am oh so fidgety.
 
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BookGal is offline BookGal Post #8  June 4,2010, 5:41pm
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nightling,

I thougt this was a very interesting article. Thanks for sharing.

I really like to feel comfortable with the person I'm with at first. Usually, once I relax, I start getting those butterflies in my stomach and that nervous expectation of when I'll see him again. It's always a slow build for me.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  June 4,2010, 5:45pm
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annother wrote :
That might explain why some women are drawn to men who are mean to them.

And (or), why some people keep choosing similar partners?
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #10  June 4,2010, 6:00pm
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D_Lion wrote :
And (or), why some people keep choosing similar partners?
Yes I think it's something that can really call into question the whole idea of chemistry. I always thought that was about the biological factors, the immune system diversity etc ...

But if it's more about something like the article suggests, it could be very detrimental to rely on it, particularly if you were unfortunate enough to have caretakers who weren't all they should have been.

The more I read the less enamored I am of the whole "winging it" go with your gut instinct approach. I'm not saying completely ignore gut instincts but maybe they are not always all they are cracked up to be?
 
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