labtech is offline labtech Post #1  June 2,2010, 7:22pm
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I'm new to online dating. How long do you recommend e-mailing your matches before officially meeting?
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #2  June 2,2010, 8:07pm
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is thinking about someone special

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Just long enough to know that you want to go on a date with that person, beyond that it starts being more of a penfriend situation.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #3  June 2,2010, 8:37pm
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Meet in person as soon as possible. Email and chat room conversations can be delightful, but misleading. There are some things you can only find out by being in another person's presence. It's not something that is easy to identify, but there are things you pick up on in real life that you simply cannot be aware of online.
 
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Jesisi is offline Jesisi Post #4  June 3,2010, 1:08pm
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I have been dating this guy who I met in person 2 months ago, but we communicated online for a month prior to that. It allowed us the chance to find out that we had a lot of things in common and gave us a relaxed environment to communicate in on our own schedules. We spoke on the phone for at least a week before meeting.

Keeping a controlled flow of information was important to me, especially after having met some people in the past who have not been able to respect my lack of interest and took advantage of having ways to communicate with me. If anything, our interest grew and we ended up having more things to talk about, since we were able to learn more about each other.

Good luck with whatever works best for you!

J
 
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sciencegirl is offline sciencegirl Post #5  June 3,2010, 2:08pm
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It depends on the person. I think its best to meet sooner so that you know you're not wasting your time. I emailed for about 3 weeks with the guy I'm currently dating, and I had to be the one to suggest we meet. Whatever you are comfortable with is best.
 
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singinggirl is offline singinggirl Post #6  June 3,2010, 6:02pm
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I want to email, talk on the phone, etc very little--just enough to make sure that there's a basic compatibility. I want to move to meeting quickly because all the emails in the world won't really tell you how compatible you are until you meet in person.
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #7  June 3,2010, 6:13pm
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I favor meeting in person within a week maximun. Anything longer than that feels dragged out and I don't see any point in it.
 
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2clueless is offline 2clueless Post #8  June 3,2010, 6:17pm
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There is no magic number. I try to move through email to one or two phone conversations then meet, hopefully this takes no more than 2 weeks. I don't have a lot of time and meeting up with someone requires a sitter and all that unless it's daytime. So, I try to suss out some basic incompatibility issues beforehand.

I have chosen not to meet people in person who turned out to be boorish braggarts, unhappy with my happily secular lifestyle, or carrying too much baggage (one guy asked about premaritial counseling). I figured these things out just in the course of casual conversation and chose not to meet.
It depends on how much filter you have and what you want out of the process. If I were freer, I'd probably move to in person dates quicker.
 
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absnguns is offline absnguns Post #9  June 3,2010, 9:37pm
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When I first started online dating I would do the whole month wait get to know a girl thing, then I realized you don't know if you really like someone unless you are face to face. Well I normally wait a week or so max now, more then that is a waste of time.
 
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Johnnyguitarman is offline Johnnyguitarman Post #10  June 3,2010, 10:17pm
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About a week or two of e-mailling is enough. If the e-mail exchange is exciting and you have hit it off with the other person then you will most likely get on well in real life.

If the correspondence is hard work and uninteresting, the date is likely to be as well.

I see from your profile you are female. You have to ensure your personal safety and security- there are scammers out there posing as genuine members!-, don't give out your address or home phone no too quickly (until you have met) and only meet when you feel safe, and meet in a public place during the day, such as a coffee bar (or in the UK meeting at a pub for lunch is a good idea).


Be careful and have fun!
 
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