NTXniceGuy is offline NTXniceGuy Post #1  May 31,2010, 7:28am
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We emailed (via eharmony) a couple of times - usually several days between. This is common for me as I work (travel) a lot and don't access the site from work computers. I am not sure why the length of time between responses for her - just busy / not really interested, etc.

We spoke on the phone for 45 minutes and I think she is fantastic. In all the women I have spoken to, emailed, dated, etc. over the last several years, she is the 1st that I hung up feeling like, WOW. I am anxious to continue, but want to proceed correctly. Should I call her back? If so when? Text her? email her?

I hate to over-think this, but she seems pretty fantastic and I'd hate to take any missteps. Any advice??
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  May 31,2010, 7:33am
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I think you should communicate in roughly the same manner as your partner.

If she is communicating only every few days, trying to push a big increase in that is likely to come across as needy - or lack of other interests. Basically, not good.

I think at this point you should have already arranged a meeting time, date, and place. If not, I would do so on the next communication.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  May 31,2010, 7:33am
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just call her?

if you like her be authentic with her. calculating, phoniness, strategizing are usually obvious.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #4  May 31,2010, 8:19am
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Welcome to eHA...

Several days in between communications isn't that uncommon. Particularly if she works and has an active social life. She is probably also communicating with other matches.

I agree with the advice to be authentic, to call her and arrange a concrete meeting. This avoids the trap of becoming emotionally entangled with the idea of someone rather than getting to know the actual person.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  May 31,2010, 8:54am
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Forget texting!

Since you have moved on to talking on the phone then phone conversation is the preferred method of regular communication with e-mail appropriate when you want to communicate in writing. Unless you know that she is not receptive to talking except every few days I would not wait more than a day before calling again.

As the others have mentioned you should be setting up a meeting very soon.
 
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Buck is offline Buck Post #6  May 31,2010, 9:08am
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Nothing to add. All seems well.
 
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slaw is offline slaw Post #7  May 31,2010, 9:39am
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See, this is why at every step you should have an idea in mind as to what you want to happen as a result of your call, email, etc. You end up confusing yourself and overthinking. Next time you call, know what you want to get out of the call and either give her an action to do or tell her what you are going to do and put a timeline on it. Neither of you will be left wondering what is going on or what to do next.

In the future, don't waste a first call. 99% of the time, the sole focus should be to get her to agree to meet you.
 
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Deborrah is offline Deborrah Post #8  May 31,2010, 1:08pm
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I disagree that a first call is to get her to agree to meet you. The first call should be to hear her voice and see if there is any connection offline. The first call is a screening call to determine if you even WANT to meet.

Sometimes hearing their voice, their hesitancy to answer your basic question, inappropriate conversation, etc. is a turnoff and you hang up GLAD you didn't waste a date outfit!

I think you should call her and say "you know I really enjoy talking to you and would like to do this face to face. How about we get together for (fill in the blank) and meet sometime this week. What's your schedule looking like?"

It's that simple and requires no strategy or manipulative games.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #9  May 31,2010, 10:53pm
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Deborrah wrote :
I disagree that a first call is to get her to agree to meet you. The first call should be to hear her voice and see if there is any connection offline. The first call is a screening call to determine if you even WANT to meet.

Sometimes hearing their voice, their hesitancy to answer your basic question, inappropriate conversation, etc. is a turnoff and you hang up GLAD you didn't waste a date outfit!

I think you should call her and say "you know I really enjoy talking to you and would like to do this face to face. How about we get together for (fill in the blank) and meet sometime this week. What's your schedule looking like?"

It's that simple and requires no strategy or manipulative games.
I agree with the above, except I would suggest when you call her next you be sensitive to the possibility of her preferring more phone chatting before meeting.

How about, "I really enjoyed our conversation last time, and would love to meet you in person. Are you comfortable setting up a date? (if there's no hesitation and a yes) How's Thursday at..." blah, blah blah...

Good luck!
Last edited by lacedwithhope; May 31,2010 at 10:56pm.
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #10  May 31,2010, 11:24pm
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Next you go on a date ...
 
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