"Tell me more about yourself." Is this a dumb question?


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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #1  May 29,2010, 9:43am
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I have a complete profile, I get this question from women with blank profiles. I think it's a bad question to ask - when you are a blankity-blank profiler especially - of someone with a full profile.

(Now, had I been a sparse profile and her a full one, it would make sense.)

- What are these women likely to be doing? (My guess is lazy.)

- Does anybody here ask questions like this? What information are you hoping to glean?

- If you get such a question, how do you reply? (I give a snarky reply calling their attention to their blankity-blankness.)
 
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tenderheart105 is offline tenderheart105 Post #2  May 29,2010, 9:53am
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I think it depends how you interpret the question. I would read that as ..."I am interested in getting to know more about you!". I don't think it's a competition to see who has more detail written in their profile. Also, people who are new to the system may not have figured out how to look good on paper yet or need some time to think about their answers. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are lazy. I had my profile reviewed here and had no idea that parts of my profile would be considered sparse or cliche.

D_Lion, I hope you are not put off by my comment.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  May 29,2010, 10:05am
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tenderheart105 wrote :
I would read that as ..."I am interested in getting to know more about you!"

Perhaps, but I think they should write at least something in their own profile (I am talking here about a pattern of that question, from very empty blankety-blanks.

Also, I think they should ask some more specific questions.

The approach as detailed in the OP, does not encourage me to take the time to wonder what they want to know, when they couldn't take the to put something in their profile - or compose an actual question.
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #4  May 29,2010, 10:08am
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I just bounce back with "so when are we meeting for coffee?"

I think it's a dumb question myself - and seriously if I am asked it I reply with "what do you want to know?" and just take it from there.

I rate that question right up there with "what do you do for fun" - makes me scratch my head a bit............

Then again, I believe in meeting IRL quickly, and really hate answering open ended essay questions for people that I do not know, and may never meet.......

Difficult, eh? lol

Lilycat
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #5  May 29,2010, 10:09am
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D_Lion wrote :
Perhaps, but I think they should write at least something in their own profile (I am talking here about a pattern of that question, from very empty blankety-blanks.

Also, I think they should ask some more specific questions.

The approach as detailed in the OP, does not encourage me to take the time to wonder what they want to know, when they couldn't take the to put something in their profile - or compose an actual question.
This too.....+1
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #6  May 29,2010, 10:11am
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tenderheart105 wrote :
I would read that as ..."I am interested in getting to know more about you!"
I'd read it like that, but with more of a "...but I lack the proper communication skills to ask questions, so I hope you'll get the ball rolling and I'll just come along for the ride."
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #7  May 29,2010, 10:18am
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D_Lion wrote :
I have a complete profile, I get this question from women with blank profiles. I think it's a bad question to ask - when you are a blankity-blank profiler especially - of someone with a full profile.

(Now, had I been a sparse profile and her a full one, it would make sense.)

- What are these women likely to be doing? (My guess is lazy.)

- Does anybody here ask questions like this? What information are you hoping to glean?

- If you get such a question, how do you reply? (I give a snarky reply calling their attention to their blankity-blankness.)
I do ask this question. Specifically I say. Tell me more about yourself. Ie, how you got where you are and where you hope to get in the future.

I have no particular agenda. I like to hear people's stories, and in what they deem important about that journey, I feel like I get a glimpse of who they are and what sorts of priorities may weigh most highly for them.

This is in fact the same approach I use in interviewing people for a feature. I guide them into drawing me a general map of their life before I get specific, and I let them kind of put out there the talking points they deem most valuable.

If I got a snarky reply, I would probably wonder why they are having so much Attitude and if communicating with them is going to always be so difficult. So far no one has been snarky to me with this question and a couple of matches have actually said they liked getting it so. /shrug ymmv

Oh and I forgot to add ... my profile is completely filled out.
Last edited by nightling; May 29,2010 at 10:22am.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is online now Dropdeadredtx Post #8  May 29,2010, 10:26am
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MicMan wrote :
I'd read it like that, but with more of a "...but I lack the proper communication skills to ask questions, so I hope you'll get the ball rolling and I'll just come along for the ride."
LOL. Very true.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  May 29,2010, 10:28am
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nightling wrote :
I do ask this question. Specifically I say. Tell me more about yourself. Ie, how you got where you are and where you hope to get in the future.

Oh and I forgot to add ... my profile is completely filled out.

I think this is a very big difference, though.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is online now Dropdeadredtx Post #10  May 29,2010, 10:29am
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I also dislike "What do you like to do?"
That shows no thought process at all, and also demonstrates that this match did NOT read my profile - or doesn't remember it.
 
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