reenz is offline reenz Post #1  May 28,2010, 11:25pm
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Hello. I am 28 years old, female. Over the last 5 years, I've unfortunately developed a number of gray (white) hairs... a bit premature for my age. It's a bit of a contrast because I have beautiful healthy skin of someone about 21-22, but my hair looks like someone in their mid-30s. Especially as I am Asian with dark locks, each white strand really is noticeable. The grays are probably less than 1% of my total hair, but they really do stick out.

I have been thinking to dye my hair (or just spot treat the most visible white hairs on the top of my head) to my natural color. Since I am open to dating men around my age (24-32 years old is my age bracket) I was just wondering if using hair color would be considered 'dishonest' in any way. I assume that guys my age most likely don't have many gray hairs enough to want to color them... so I wonder if they'd feel 'weirded out' to find out after dating me for some time that I use hair color... or to see my hair without dye. I know this probably isn't a big deal to older guys, but possibly for the younger age group (20s-30s) with whom I'd be dating.

I just wanted opinions on this. Thanks!
Last edited by reenz; May 28,2010 at 11:31pm.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  May 29,2010, 12:15am
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I don't see dying your hair as being dishonest. A lot of women do it, even much younger than yourself and for various reasons. I think most men and women would agree it is fairly common.

I will warn you, though, if you are trying to cover grey and you have dar hair, it will be a tough job. Grey hair does not hold color well, you really have to sit with it on your head for a long time. You might want to invest in a visit to a hair dresser. They can cover just those strands that are grey. They will also be able to pick the right color for you.
 
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Catburt28 is offline Catburt28 Post #3  May 29,2010, 12:59am
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Hair color is like cosmetics these days.
We dye our hair for a number of reasons, not just to cover grays.

I've been dying my hair for *cough* years.
Started doing it just to have fun with hair color.
Only the past few years have the grays been more noticable.

Rather than dye your hair, how about putting some highlights into it?
Then the grays won't shout "holla!"
You just have to be willing/able to keep up the maintenance.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #4  May 29,2010, 3:46am
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I don't think it's dishonest, since it is fairly common for women to do things to accentuate their natural experience. If you get to know someone and become comfortable with them, that would be the best time to say anything, if at all.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #5  May 29,2010, 3:54am

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i doubt that most men care what goes on at that mysterious place called the "Salon".

they just appreciate the results.
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #6  May 29,2010, 4:05am

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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Well if it is, so is a bra, shaving, make up and the wearing of clothes.

My hair isn't grey (probably, very hazy notion of my 'natural' colour) but I've dyed it, bleached it, toned it and tweaked it all my life because I like to play with my appearance.

We're entitled to look how we choose.

Sometimes appearance 'dishonesty' is the best way to build confidence and let your honest personality come through and that's way more important.
 
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Tipitina is offline Tipitina Post #7  May 29,2010, 4:11am
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tbesq wrote :
I don't think it's dishonest, since it is fairly common for women to do things to accentuate their natural experience. If you get to know someone and become comfortable with them, that would be the best time to say anything, if at all.
I agree with this approach. I've been highlighting my hair for years and am open about it when I get compliments on the color. If it makes you feel better/more comfortable to cover the grays, go for it!
 
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juliamarie is offline juliamarie Post #8  May 29,2010, 5:09am
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I've had a lot of grays since my mid-twenties. I'm thirty-three. I have wondered the same as you if it was dishonest to color. I decided that I want to look the age I am. So when I'm fifty, I will get a pretty frosted gray look to my hair. But not yet!
 
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superbeetle is offline superbeetle Post #9  May 29,2010, 5:30am
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Gray hair doesn't make you look like you're in your 30s, it makes you look like you're in your 50s! Just color it and make yourself happy. I have a couple friends who took 20 years off their age that way.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  May 29,2010, 5:53am
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I consider it fashion, nothing more - especially since women often change the color deliberately (or use a big streak of purple, or something.)

I could see it being a lie if you were to state that you didn't when you did - but why do that?

What is perhaps more of a risk, is when a person takes an effort for photo, early communication, or early meetings, which they are doing only to "catch" a partner, and they then slack off. This invites a feeling of deception in one's partner.
 
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