Fussy eater; small red flag?


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annother is offline annother Post #1  May 28,2010, 10:47am
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I have had two dates with a very nice man. Each time we met at a local restaurant and each time he complained about the food.

The first time he complained to me and to the waitress about the quality of the cooking and the second time he complained to me that the noodles were fat instead of thin. He also held the garnish up on his fork and asked the waitress what it was. She was a little embarrassed because she didn't know but came back later and explained that it was a pea sprout.

Am I being too critical in thinking this is unnecessary behaviour? I found it off-putting, even though we otherwise got along well.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #2  May 28,2010, 10:53am

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annother wrote :
I have had two dates with a very nice man. Each time we met at a local restaurant and each time he complained about the food.

The first time he complained to me and to the waitress about the quality of the cooking and the second time he complained to me that the noodles were fat instead of thin. He also held the garnish up on his fork and asked the waitress what it was. She was a little embarrassed because she didn't know but came back later and explained that it was a pea sprout.

Am I being too critical in thinking this is unnecessary behaviour? I found it off-putting, even though we otherwise got along well.
Why worry? Aren't there plenty of other men waiting to take his spot? If the guy acts like a jerk about such small things why would you want to stick around?
 
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NJGeek81 is offline NJGeek81 Post #3  May 28,2010, 10:55am
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I dunno, he sounds like an obnoxious ass to me. You said he was very nice, but did he complain in a nice "sorry to be a pain" way or a rude "what kind of service IS this?!" way? Being nice to you and nasty to others is a warning sign to me. I wouldn't be able to put up with that for long.
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #4  May 28,2010, 11:04am
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When I am with someone like that, my mind wanders and I picture them eventually picking apart my life in the same manner. Not interested in dating people who constantly look for the bad in people and things.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #5  May 28,2010, 11:20am
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hankscorpio wrote :
Why worry? Aren't there plenty of other men waiting to take his spot?
Ha ha! I wish that were true If it were true, this would be no dilemma.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #6  May 28,2010, 11:25am
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This doesn't sound like a picky eater but a chronic complainer.

Most of us are picky eaters in that there are certain foods we don't like, but we don't harass the waitresses about the food.

Did he choose the restaurant? If so, he should take the blame for making such a bad (to him) choice.

If he's such a gourmet, shouldn't he have known (or asked) what kind of noodles came with that dish?

I agree that he's likely to complain about just about anything, like stuff you do, no matter how trivial, and I feel sorry for anyone who cooks for him and has to put up with his insults.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #7  May 28,2010, 11:26am

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annother wrote :
Ha ha! I wish that were true If it were true, this would be no dilemma.
Well I'll say this - if someone doesn't make you feel like you're happy being around them then what else matters? I'm sure by now you've got your own life in order, and companionship is the only quality left you're looking for. If the companionship isn't of a quality that would at least make you happier than being alone then there's no reason to have it.

I can say this - as a guy who has been alone for quite a while, if I found a woman who I felt was worth my time to date and she actually acquiesced, I sure as hell wouldn't be making a jerk of myself around her.
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #8  May 28,2010, 11:26am
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Next time you're out to eat, make a fuss about a bunch of completely insubstantial things and see how he reacts.
 
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nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #9  May 28,2010, 11:29am
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I agree with other posts. He's not a picky eater; he's a complainer. Odds are if he complains about food, he's also going to complain about other things.

Time to move on and find a non-complainer.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #10  May 28,2010, 11:40am
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My grandmother hated chronic complaining. When I would complain about something trivial, she would say something like "well! We should just throw them in the street and stone them to death!" I finally figured out she meant to just stop my whining.

He does sound like someone who will pick apart every little detail of everything. Have you had a chance to see him outside of a dining environment? Maybe it is just food he is picky about. Something in his past that makes dining an extremely annoying event for him. Which is horrible. Food should be enjoyed. But, I'm a bit off topic.

I say yes, it is a small red flag. He could also have been nervous and didn't know how to chill out, so he took it out on the waitress.
 
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