Text follow up after date -- Nice gesture or insult?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
nunayabizness is offline nunayabizness Post #1  May 27,2010, 3:44pm

Enthusiast

Joined: Jan 2010

Posts: 687

See profile

I had a first date and thought it was going well. Then, at end of the date, she did not want to kiss goodnight and backed out of previously made plans.

Other than that, all other indications were that she was still interested, but those are two very big "ifs" as far as I am concerned.

Not being sure how to read things, instead of calling, I texted her the next day to say I had a good time, etc. I did not hear back.

Did I not hear back because the text was an insult or because she is just no longer interested?
 
  Reply With Quote
TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  May 27,2010, 3:48pm
TheThinker's Avatar

Just what you want to be...you will be in the end

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2009

The Island of Rhode

Posts: 6,423

See profile

I don't think the text was an insult.
I just think she's not interested...the "pull back" was the sign...and the lack of communication, seals it.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  May 27,2010, 3:52pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,677

See profile

nunayabizness wrote :
I had a first date and thought it was going well. Then, at end of the date, she did not want to kiss goodnight and backed out of previously made plans.

You had your answer there.

I hope that text didn't cost anything.
 
  Reply With Quote
slaw is offline slaw Post #4  May 27,2010, 3:54pm
slaw's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Feb 2010

Where it's cold

Posts: 166

See profile

sorry, backing away from a kiss and then cancelling plans are not indicators of interest. you may want to ponder why your 'read' of her/the date was off.
 
  Reply With Quote
chimerical is offline chimerical Post #5  May 27,2010, 3:56pm
chimerical's Avatar

is an albino axolotl.

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2009

Arkansas

Posts: 4,154

See profile

Agree with all of the above.
 
  Reply With Quote
nunayabizness is offline nunayabizness Post #6  May 27,2010, 3:56pm

Enthusiast

Joined: Jan 2010

Posts: 687

See profile

slaw wrote :
sorry, backing away from a kiss and then cancelling plans are not indicators of interest. you may want to ponder why your 'read' of her/the date was off.
Maybe I am just clueless.
 
  Reply With Quote
imbizetbizet is offline imbizetbizet Post #7  May 27,2010, 4:00pm
imbizetbizet's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2010

MA

Posts: 5

See profile

A lot of people are so non-confrontational that they will indicate that everything is ok, even when there is no interest at all. The pull back could be that she doesn't like to kiss after a first date but coupled with canceling plans, indicates that she is really not interested. I use texts as my primary mode of communication and will often send a thank you text that evening or the next day if I'm interested. It can easily open the door to further communication but feels safer than a call. Many people of my generation feel this way and among my students texting is preferred over phone communication.
 
  Reply With Quote
Sugargirl123 is offline Sugargirl123 Post #8  May 27,2010, 4:04pm
Sugargirl123's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: May 2010

Posts: 10

See profile

She's not into you. There are three signs: She pulled away at kiss time, cancelled plans, and didn't return your text. On its own, pulling away from a kiss isn't the death knell, but the cancellations and failure to respond are.

That said, I hate it when guys text me and I never respond. I think it's a lazy and gutless form of communication if you're dating someone. Plus, it leads to miscommunication all the time. You're DATING people, let your date hear your voice and listen to your message once or twice. I actually had one guy tell me texting was more "efficient" use of his time. I decided an "efficient" use of my time would be to move on.
 
  Reply With Quote
TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #9  May 27,2010, 4:13pm
TheThinker's Avatar

Just what you want to be...you will be in the end

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2009

The Island of Rhode

Posts: 6,423

See profile

imbizetbizet wrote :
. It can easily open the door to further communication but feels safer than a call. Many people of my generation feel this way and among my students texting is preferred over phone communication.
Feels safer???
in what way? non-confrontational, maybe...I can understand that.
The ability to ignore someone is easier, but safer?
Implied safety means at some point, the opposite would be "unsafe"...
what's unsafe about actually speaking to another human being...on a phone?
Care to explain?
Last edited by TheThinker; May 27,2010 at 4:16pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #10  May 27,2010, 4:44pm
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,147

See profile

TheThinker wrote :
Feels safer???
in what way? non-confrontational, maybe...I can understand that.
The ability to ignore someone is easier, but safer?
Implied safety means at some point, the opposite would be "unsafe"...
what's unsafe about actually speaking to another human being...on a phone?
Care to explain?
I agree with TheThinker. Did you mean more convenient? Because that is the only thing I can think of that would be a benefit for texting. And, even though I am a few years older than yourself, I do tend to text quite a bit. Most of the people I know have jobs, unlike myself, so if I send something to them via text, I'm not interrupting them. Well, unless they have their ringer turned up really loud.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« should I accept this situation with a guy? | Dating | Friday Night Roll Call! »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Second date, No Kiss: is this guy even interested in me? bronte71 Dating 70 January 27,2011 5:27pm
First Date un-jitters. I want the nervousness back! SteveVance Ask a Dating Expert 24 September 30,2010 10:22pm
Am I too old fashion to think a guy should call after a date??? bct31 Dating 40 November 6,2009 5:33pm
Bad Second Date Sort of bdavie Ask a Dating Expert 16 October 12,2009 10:29pm
Why do nice guys have to finish last? Matthew333 Ask a Dating Expert 15 August 4,2009 3:57am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Sometimes it is better than going on a so-so date just to fill your calendar.” –  sun73

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion

“When a man dates women, especially exclusively, who are much more physically attractive, I think he gets exactly what he's asking for and what he deserves - a woman who is not physically attracted to ... ” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“Always trust your instincts.” –  sun73

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“ I was never into David Cassidy. Now, Shaun Cassidy... loved him! (And he was such a girl, too. So pretty!) I still have his album, too. I think it has my sister's name sticker on it, too. ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“I enjoy walking my german shepherd.” –  sun73

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“Hmm. I think we are using the term 'preference' differently. Anyway, you can choose 'not important' for everything if you want the widest range of choices possible. If you do that and still don't get ... ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Seriously? That cloud looks nothing like George Clooney!” –  mitchell175

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:17pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0