gr8guy is offline gr8guy Post #1  May 24,2010, 5:28pm
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In September I met someone (friend of a friend) who told me she wasn't ready for a relationship having just been dumped by a guy she was seeing.

I told her that I understood and we could be friends if she like. She agreed.

In April she goes to a friends wedding a meets some new guy. When I asked her about this she says she is "sorta seeing him" and that she "doesn't know if it will work out."

Her friends tell a different story - she has become a recluse staying home to wait for his call and only spending time with him.

Lesson learned: If it doesn't sound like yes, it's no.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #2  May 24,2010, 5:38pm
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I'm not sure what you were trying to learn here that you didn't. I'm confused. I guess I didn't learn either.

What were you thinking didn't sound like yes?
 
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howardtheduck is offline howardtheduck Post #3  May 24,2010, 5:40pm
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if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and quacks like a duck - it may just be a duck
 
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beentherehavetee is offline beentherehavetee Post #4  May 24,2010, 5:41pm
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I totally agree. Lesson learned.
I don't know why people make excuses or have some justification when someone doesn't express a desire and an excitement to date you. If you have to cajole them into dating you, or if you must justify their reluctance, then you are wasting your time. Never sit around and wait for someone to be "ready" to date.

I can't think of one person who has not jumped on the opportunity to date someone who they are excited about - no matter the circumstance!

OP, you've learned a good lesson. You deserve better.
 
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Andie0264 is offline Andie0264 Post #5  May 24,2010, 5:43pm
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howardtheduck wrote :
if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and quacks like a duck - it may just be a duck
Thank you, Mr. Duck. Gr8 guy I've had stuff like this happen to me. Once you get into the friend zone it's almost impossible to get out. I posted about having been put into the friend zone by a close friend for whom I started having feelings. I am permanently in his friend zone so I am trying to move on. It just sucks but you can't fix it.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  May 24,2010, 5:46pm
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It seems clear you inspire no passion in this woman.

I doubt you'd get a useful answer if you asked why.

I do like to favor giving people some time, when the problem seems to be related to recentcy of a past relationship ...

***

I can't fault your conclusion, though.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #7  May 24,2010, 5:49pm
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I must be thick ... everyone else seems to understand what the lesson was.
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #8  May 24,2010, 6:11pm
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MelinCali wrote :
I must be thick ... everyone else seems to understand what the lesson was.

The lesson is that when someone tells you they are not ready for a relationship right now... what that really means is that they are not ready for a relationship with you.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #9  May 24,2010, 6:16pm
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FruitaBu wrote :
The lesson is that when someone tells you they are not ready for a relationship right now... what that really means is that they are not ready for a relationship with you.
Oh! Perhaps... could also be that: admission to the friend zone is a lifetime membership. Enter at your own risk ... meaning only if you really want to be friends.

If you're just hanging around being her friend to wait for your chance, that's being manipulative (aka a Nice Guy).
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #10  May 24,2010, 6:17pm

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MelinCali wrote :
I must be thick ... everyone else seems to understand what the lesson was.
Well!! If you didn't learn anything, then I sure ain't gonna tell you what you didn't learn!



(wait....this is usually what women would say! )
Last edited by PY_2; May 24,2010 at 6:46pm. Reason: *gasp* somebody gave me one star lol
 
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