Do opposites attract?


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PinkLilies is offline PinkLilies Post #1  May 23,2010, 10:28am
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I would definitely consider myself an introvert as I am quite shy, especially when meeting new people, and prefer staying in the background, rather than being the centre of attention. Because of this, people often want to set me up with other shy, introverted people. Personally, I think that a more outgoing person would be a better match for me. I think that we would compliment each other and our personalities would balance out. Truthfully, I am usually more attracted to people who are more outgoing than I am. So what do you think, is it better to be with someone like you or do opposites attract?
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  May 23,2010, 10:43am
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I've seen people who are so alike they drive each other crazy...
and people who are so different they never had a chance...so it depends on what your meaning of "opposites attract" is...

I think this expression is so misconstrued that people think complete opposites attract...in my experiences, they don't.
Well, let me say: they may attract, but they won't stay together very long.

If there are qualities your partner has that you don't, things that you admire...and you think they compliment your qualities, it really doesn't mean you are "opposites."
Last edited by TheThinker; May 23,2010 at 10:47am.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #3  May 23,2010, 10:49am
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I'm an extrovert... as long as the guy doesn't mind going to parties, and doing social activities... I would be okay dating an introvert.

I have found that some introverts prefer to stay away from parties, gatherings, etc. This would not bode well for many extroverts, I think. But, if you don't mind doing those things, I can't see why introverts/extroverts... wouldn't work.

I think it's more important to have common interests, than having the same personality.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  May 23,2010, 10:55am
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This question has been bugging me for a long time and I think I have arrived at a conclusion.

I believe that people need to be similar enough in core (meaning, introverts with introverts, similar values and life goals) but have enough differences to keep things interesting and exciting.

I've already posted about this today once already so I feel like I am talking way too much about it but it seems like things work best when there is masculine/feminine polarity. It's key, ime.
 
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PinkLilies is offline PinkLilies Post #5  May 23,2010, 10:56am
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I guess I should clarify a bit... I am specifically refering to people who are introverts being attracted to extroverts, or vice versa. I absolutely think that it's important to share the same values, beliefs and some interests. I definitely don't think that complete opposites could ever form a lasting relationship.

The reason I ask this question is because I was recently matched with a guy on eHarmony who seems to value many of the same things as I do. We also seem to have many shared interests. We have reached open communication and things seem to be going really well; however, it is evident that he is not a shy guy and is much more outgoing than I am. At first this concerned me a bit, but I am beginning to think that this is the best kind of match. The fact that he is more of a 'talker' makes it easier for me to open up and communicate with him.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #6  May 23,2010, 10:56am
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jussmile wrote :

I think it's more important to have common interests, than having the same personality.
I think it's more important to have common values, myself.
Everything else...I can work with.
 
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Rainfallgirl is offline Rainfallgirl Post #7  May 23,2010, 11:28am
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I tend to be introverted and when left to my own devices become downright reclusive. I like both my friends and boyfriends to be more extroverted than me because they:
a.) pull me out into the real world of sociable people and I have fun when I get there
b.) are a buffer when I need them to be (especially the men are great at stepping up and doing things for me if I need to escape from the above.)
c.) spice up my life with lots of things to do
d.) are fun people to be around and attract other fun people
Last edited by Rainfallgirl; May 23,2010 at 11:31am.
 
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howardtheduck is offline howardtheduck Post #8  May 23,2010, 2:43pm
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I think it is more about liking the person and that they are prepared and want to venture out of their comfort zone to be a part of my active life. Quite frankly, I would not not want to be the extrovert shlepping around my other 1/2 for the purpose of being their gateway to entertainment. Life in relationships are 50-50. Good luck!
 
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livinagin is offline livinagin Post #9  May 23,2010, 2:49pm
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I used to be an introvert -- not by choice, but because I was in a controlling relationship with an extrovert.

Now that I have healed, I am totally extroverted. I am still somewhat attracted by extroverts, but I am completely careful not to be attracted to a controlling extrovert. I don't think I could do an introvert because I am just toooooo extroverted.

But my point is that if you are an introvert and run into an extroverted controller, look out! You are in for a rough ride!
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #10  May 23,2010, 4:06pm
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I do think people are attracted to the qualities they lack. I also think it might be somewhat genetically based. Diversity in the gene set and all that.

Just a pet theory, though, I don't have any special study or knowledge to back it up.
 
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