red_shoes is offline red_shoes Post #1  May 19,2010, 1:05pm
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Last week I met one of my matches. He was great and we both seemed to enjoy each other. The days following we texted a bit, but didn't seem to be making plans for a future date. Well last night he sends me a message through the site saying he really likes me, but has realized he's not ready to start dating again.

So here's the twist...
I replied with a "thanks for being kind enough to let me know where you stand" message. Well this morning he had sent another message saying "thanks for understanding, my personal email address is..."

Weather or not the "I'm not ready to date" line is true or not. I am aware that it means the guy isn't that interested. However, I'm confused as to why he has now given me another way to contact him. What does that mean?

Here is what it could mean (IMO):

1. He sees me as a friend, so by saying he's not ready to date, he can just establish a friendship with me.

2. He genuinely isn't ready to date, but wants to stay in touch so that maybe we can meet up in the future.

3. He's just odd!

So please help explain the possible thoughts behind him providing me with his email. Should I email him in time, since I actually liked him?
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #2  May 19,2010, 1:09pm
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No point in us trying to analyze his intentions.

Are you interested in being friends with him? If so I would keep in touch.

If he's really not ready to date, I wonder why he's on a dating site. Did he recently go through a breakup or give any reason why he's not ready?
 
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Daphnie is offline Daphnie Post #3  May 19,2010, 1:16pm
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Does he want you to be his friend or friend with benefit?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  May 19,2010, 3:21pm
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Many people find their personal e-mail easier to use or more available.

I despise that dating site e-mails tend not to show the history of the communication stream, which means I have no idea what a woman is replying to, when she writes me!

Also, many people can not, or do not, access a dating site in their workplace.

***

I would probably go forward and meet a match like this - but I am able to control myself and not make poor decisions.

It's a risk, but not a huge one, in my opinion.
 
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howardtheduck is offline howardtheduck Post #5  May 19,2010, 3:30pm
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I pick door #3, Monty...
 
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penpen2 is offline penpen2 Post #6  May 19,2010, 5:10pm
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#3!

He's odd and doesn't know what he wants. It would totally suck to be in a relationship with a guy like this. You dodged a bullet!
 
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annother is offline annother Post #7  May 19,2010, 6:36pm
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As D_Lion suggested, he may have got his messages mixed up. If he is communicating with more than one person, it's possible you got a message meant for someone else. I'd ask him.
 
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red_shoes is offline red_shoes Post #8  May 19,2010, 7:40pm
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mrflyer wrote :
No point in us trying to analyze his intentions.

Are you interested in being friends with him? If so I would keep in touch.

If he's really not ready to date, I wonder why he's on a dating site. Did he recently go through a breakup or give any reason why he's not ready?
He was really nice, so I wouldn't mind just being friends, but it seems a bit of an awkward way to start a friendship.

He had said it just hasn't been long enough to fully get over his last relationship. I'm not sure how long, but supposedly not long enough.
 
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red_shoes is offline red_shoes Post #9  May 19,2010, 7:42pm
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Daphnie wrote :
Does he want you to be his friend or friend with benefit?
I don't think this is an issue of "friends with benefits." He has my phone number, so supplying a personal email just seems like he wants to email from time to time, but it is odd nonetheless.
 
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ravitaekwondo is offline ravitaekwondo Post #10  May 19,2010, 8:07pm
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red_shoes wrote :
Last week I met one of my matches. He was great and we both seemed to enjoy each other. The days following we texted a bit, but didn't seem to be making plans for a future date. Well last night he sends me a message through the site saying he really likes me, but has realized he's not ready to start dating again.

So here's the twist...
I replied with a "thanks for being kind enough to let me know where you stand" message. Well this morning he had sent another message saying "thanks for understanding, my personal email address is..."

Weather or not the "I'm not ready to date" line is true or not. I am aware that it means the guy isn't that interested. However, I'm confused as to why he has now given me another way to contact him. What does that mean?

Here is what it could mean (IMO):

1. He sees me as a friend, so by saying he's not ready to date, he can just establish a friendship with me.

2. He genuinely isn't ready to date, but wants to stay in touch so that maybe we can meet up in the future.

3. He's just odd!

So please help explain the possible thoughts behind him providing me with his email. Should I email him in time, since I actually liked him?
Redshoes,

First, it is good you found out at the early stages he is not ready for dating.

Second, you are making way too much out of this. So what if he gives you his e-mail? It sounds like he just wants to be friends, and he is just giving you another avenue of communication to pursue a friendship.
 
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