Aren't Poofers supposed to stay gone...


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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #1  May 19,2010, 11:51am
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I could start this thread out by saying... "the nerve of some people"... I could, but I won't. I'm just curious if any have experienced a Poofer coming back after over a month of silence, and just wanting to "get together" and start dating as though nothing had ever happened. Didn't provide any reason for the stop in communication, and according to him... life has been good .

I'm not saying that he stated he would not be available for over a month... instead, imagine a situation where you had gone out on a number of dates, communicating regularly, really seemed to like each other and then.... silence. Even as a multi-dater if I started dating someone else I wouldn't just disappear on the other guys I was dating.

Does this really happen? Okay, it does, but what do you think is the appropriate, polite, civilized way to handle it. Would you even respond? A simple... "not interested" would do? Although I am personally not this type, are you the type who would let him have it .
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #2  May 19,2010, 11:59am
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I would probably respond. Just a "Nice to hear from you after all this time. I am currently dating someone, but I hope you are well."

Then just see if he explains what happened...


I would be curious even if I didn't care to see him again.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #3  May 19,2010, 12:03pm
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jussmile wrote :
I could start this thread out by saying... "the nerve of some people"... I could, but I won't. I'm just curious if any have experienced a Poofer coming back after over a month of silence, and just wanting to "get together" and start dating as though nothing had ever happened. Didn't provide any reason for the stop in communication, and according to him... life has been good .
He's not a poofer, just slow to respond.

If it happened to me I would say I thought she had lost interest since I hadn't heard from her in a month, and see what she had to say about it. Hopefully she would volunteer a reason. If not, I would ask.

I wouldn't automatically reject someone for this, especially someone I hadn't met, since I don't expect people who don't know me to make me a priority.
Last edited by mrflyer; May 19,2010 at 12:07pm.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #4  May 19,2010, 12:05pm
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FruitaBu wrote :
I would probably respond. Just a "Nice to hear from you after all this time. I am currently dating someone, but I hope you are well."
Would you say that even if you weren't dating someone? If so, I would consider a lie like that to be worse than taking a month to respond to someone.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #5  May 19,2010, 12:06pm
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Yes, had it happened to me. I thought I was a mutual poofer too. Seems its one of those. Hi, bye, see ya later if it works out type of thing.
Not a big deal to me. If I am available when and if we ever get to meet. Fine. If not, o well.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  May 19,2010, 12:10pm
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mrflyer wrote :
He's not a poofer, just slow to respond.

If it happened to me I would say I thought she had lost interest since I hadn't heard from her in a month, and see what she had to say about it. Hopefully she would volunteer a reason. If not, I would ask.

I wouldn't automatically reject someone for this, especially someone I hadn't met, since I don't expect people who don't know me to make me a priority.
tsk...tsk... the OP said that they were actually dating when he poofed...

does your advice change based on that?
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #7  May 19,2010, 12:11pm
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mrflyer wrote :
Would you say that even if you weren't dating someone? If so, I would consider a lie like that to be worse than taking a month to respond to someone.

Of course I wouldn't say it if I wasn't dating someone. lol I thought the OP has mentioned in other threads that she is currently dating someone. That's the only reason I said that.

If I wasn't dating someone I would say "Hey stranger! Nice to hear from you! What's up?" I also don't feel someone online has any obligation to me. Things come up. If I was dating them and they suddenly disappeared with no explanation it would be different.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #8  May 19,2010, 12:15pm
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I'd probably say hey, nice to see you are a live. I was kind of wondering what happened to you.

And then see if he has any good explanation for the silence.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #9  May 19,2010, 12:15pm
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DancingFool wrote :
tsk...tsk... the OP said that they were actually dating when he poofed...

does your advice change based on that?
Oooooo, I even missed that.
Been reading too many threads I guess.
That does change things. In that case I would hang up the phone or deleat the e-mail. They deserve the same respect they showed.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #10  May 19,2010, 12:17pm
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You are not obligation to respond to the guy and I probably wouldn't unless I planned on giving him a second chance. Who knows what happened, if you are willing to give him a second chance ask him to explain.
 
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