Would you date a with a physical faw but he can change and improve the flaw over time?


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live2laughwitme is offline live2laughwitme Post #1  May 18,2010, 11:13pm
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I have always thought about this I dont have the best smile in the world and Im trying to get it fixed but I always wonder Do woman just think I wont date this guy cuz of his smile or do most woman think well at least its a flaw that is fixable /he is trying to fix it?
Cuz when im interested in a woman and she is bigger I try to think of it as its a flaw she can fix!


Thanks for all your thoughts !
Last edited by live2laughwitme; May 18,2010 at 11:30pm.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #2  May 19,2010, 12:06am
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I have never refused a date due to his smile.

Attractiveness based upon physical features and/or overall appearance is quite personal and will vary, person to person.

Welcome to EHA!
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #3  May 19,2010, 12:31am
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live2laughwitme wrote :
Cuz when im interested in a woman and she is bigger I try to think of it as its a flaw she can fix!
Provided that she thinks of it as a flaw.
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #4  May 19,2010, 4:40am
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How does a smile change a little over time... do you mean you have braces?



I will admit that really bad teeth are a turn off to me. It's not a dealbreaker, but it does make me pause. I have dated someone who had braces late in life and that was fine. His parents were unable to do that for him, so he did it himself at 35. It took him almost 3 years, but he had a great result.


I have also not dated someone who was a very nice person and very attractive, but had severe teeth problems including bad discoloration . I wanted to feel different at the time, but there is no way I could have kissed him.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  May 19,2010, 4:52am
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Just because you think it's a flaw, does not mean that you should assume everyone else does too.

Overall though, you should never look at a person as a fixable project and you should not want to date someone who sees you as a project as well. This simply means that they don't really like you and once one "flaw" is "fixed" there will always be something else. You want to be with someone whose flaws you can accept without wanting to fix them.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  May 19,2010, 7:31am
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FruitaBu wrote :
How does a smile change a little over time... do you mean you have braces?
...
I used to have a nice smile (I think) but now don't have a good smile.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  May 19,2010, 7:32am
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DancingFool wrote :
Just because you think it's a flaw, does not mean that you should assume everyone else does too.

Overall though, you should never look at a person as a fixable project and you should not want to date someone who sees you as a project as well. This simply means that they don't really like you and once one "flaw" is "fixed" there will always be something else. You want to be with someone whose flaws you can accept without wanting to fix them.
Well said.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #8  May 19,2010, 11:53pm
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Yep... key is if they're into you they are, if they aren't they aren't. You don't want somebody to be with you because they think you can change into what they want you to be (or you be with somebody b/c of what you think they can become). That never works, turns out well, and is just plain ridiculous and unfair.

You go with the person cuz you like them now, and want to be with who they are today. If you can't say that (or they can't say that abou tyou), then don't get into anything with them.

If it's your insecurity about your smile you are talking about ~ we all have a tendency to konw our own faults and weak points and make a bigger deal about them ourselves then anybody else would ever make over it. I'd relax and let it go and focus on enjoying yourself then wondering the entire time what people think of your smile. Nobody dates a self-conscious/nervous person who's always acting like they're trying to hide something (aka a "flaw").

Good luck.
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SeeShore is offline SeeShore Post #9  May 20,2010, 5:42am
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Depends on what "bad teeth" means.

If they were like, rotting, or missing front teeth, no. If it is just a matter of crookedness, I could probably overlook it.

I NEVER date someone thinking they will fix a flaw that I perceive. And OMG PLEASE don't ever date me thinking, well, she's fat, but she can change that (or whatever else you don't like about me!).

If there is a "flaw" I think... Can I live with this? Sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes it is yes. Sometimes something that was annoying in the beginning starts to be kind of charming once you fall for someone.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #10  May 20,2010, 6:24am
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we all have flaws... if you wouldn't date someone with a flaw... you wouldn't date.
 
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