Okay! How long should I wait to respond? I like him!


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readytodate is offline readytodate Post #1  May 18,2010, 9:27am
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Hi guys! Another crazy question for you. Remember how I posted before about thinking that I respond to emails too fast, therefore appearing desperate?

Well, a guy I really like, who I went on a date with last Tuesday, has finally emailed me. he had texted me last Thursday, but I hadn't heard anything since, so I gave in and sent him a short email on Saturday, to say hi, and he sent me back a nice email today, saying he'd love to see me again.

How long is reasonable to wait to respond? He took three days to email me back. Obviously, I simply CANNOT email him back two hours after he emailed me without truly appearing desperate.

Should I email him this evening? Or wait until tomorrow? Or the next day? What is reasonable and wouldn't make me appear desperate?

I obviously have no ability to determine this myself, based on my other method of responding to emails in five minutes after they were sent and making guys feel pressured. So what would be right here?
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #2  May 18,2010, 9:37am

blames self-help books

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You should have responded to his email instead of posting this. Why would you want to play these games?
 
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readytodate is offline readytodate Post #3  May 18,2010, 9:42am
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seriously? are you really serious or just trying to be glib?

why in the world would I respond 30 minutes after he sends it after you guys already KNOW how I respond too fast?

I really wanted serious answers.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #4  May 18,2010, 9:42am
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Here we go again.....
 
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readytodate is offline readytodate Post #5  May 18,2010, 9:42am
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TheThinker wrote :
Here we go again.....
okay, never mind. I shall seek advice elsewhere from people who don't try to spend their day being rude to strangers.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  May 18,2010, 9:49am
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The serious response is that I would be questioning his degree of interest in you if he took three days to respond to an e-mail.

Also, when he txted you, did you respond? Or was the e-mail several days later your only response? If you did not respond to the txt he may have written you off as not interested in him and so your e-mail helped.....maybe. On the other hand if you did respond to the txt and he never contacted you again until you e-mailed him.....

OK, to answer your main question either this evening or tomorrow. Don't wait for longer than that or you will come across as disinterested.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #7  May 18,2010, 9:50am

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readytodate wrote :
okay, never mind. I shall seek advice elsewhere from people who don't try to spend their day being rude to strangers.
Don't go

ok just wait a day and respond tomorrow.
 
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Atlguy38 is offline Atlguy38 Post #8  May 18,2010, 9:51am
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Speaking as a man who has become very sensitive to rejection in my new dating world, I would say reply tonight. If you wait a day or 2, he will assume you're not interested or dating others (which is fine, but he'll think he's 2nd or 3rd choice). There's my $.02.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #9  May 18,2010, 9:53am
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readytodate wrote :
okay, never mind. I shall seek advice elsewhere from people who don't try to spend their day being rude to strangers.
Well, that's your prerogative, I guess.
here's something someone posted...hmmm...can't remember the poster though..
according to what they stated...looks like they got good results
They are probably much wiser than they think they are:


"OP here - I have modified my response time a bit, with good results. I don't wait days, but I have made a point to try to match their own response time and go overnight on occasion, or at least wait a few hours. It's not been a problem, obviously, cause no one can fault someone who replies a few hours after an email was sent, and it keeps me from replying too quickly.

I do still like to reply quickly, so what I do is usually type out a response as soon as I get the email, then hit "save draft" and go back and send a few hours later. Works perfectly! I get to respond fast, while the email is fresh, but send a little later and thereby not appearing desperate at all.

And sometimes I just go ahead and send a few minutes later, anyway, cause that's just me. They need to get the full package, right?! But I do balance the timing now, and with good results. No one disappearing after a couple of emails, or backing off before we meet.

The length of my emails was questioned a few times. I match my length to theirs. If it's a short, fast email, I reply in kind. I don't send long-winded emails to a guy who just sent me two paragraphs. Now, if a guy sends me a long one, asking a lot of questions, sharing his life, I try to reply in kind, within limits."

Just my 2 cents.
Last edited by TheThinker; May 18,2010 at 9:55am.
 
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Antalicus is offline Antalicus Post #10  May 18,2010, 10:13am
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Response speed is a way of showing how much you care about someone and also show how you have other things going on in your life that may detain you. Respond too fast and you care too much and seem clingy respond too slow and you seem like you don't care or your life is too busy for a relationship. This does not mean you cannot respond as soon as you read something.

If all his responses take a long time then maybe he has a problem but for the most part try to show you care but don't look like the clingy one.

It's kind of like fishing. When you get something on your line don't just real it in super fast like a maniac. Make sure you got it on the hook before you pull it on in.
 
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