Girl Offers to Pay for Herself - Bad Sign?


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Teh_Kaido is offline Teh_Kaido Post #1  May 18,2010, 7:24am
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Basically the title says it all.

I recently asked out this one chick, and when I told her that I'd pay for the lunch she said she'd pay for herself. Is this a bad sign? When girls do this does that normally mean they're not interested?

She DID say that she wasn't into the guys paying, but I still can't help but question it.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #2  May 18,2010, 7:31am

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it's not a bad sign, especially if she qualified it by saying she prefers to pay her own way.

she's probably a person who doesn't want to be "bought", or feels that she should set the tone of the relationship from the beginning- she wants to be equal.

it's only an issue for you if you have nothing else to offer a woman than a free dinner.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  May 18,2010, 7:33am
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Generally speaking yes, it is a bad sign. Once in a blue moon it may not be.
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #4  May 18,2010, 7:38am
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Yes. She doesn't want to be obligated in going out with you again. Doesn't mean she won't go out with you again, but most of the time it means that the date is a one and done deal.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  May 18,2010, 7:43am
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Ask her out again. If she says no, then coming from her, yes it was a bad sign. If she says yes, it wasn't a bad sign.

There are a few women out there who use this as a test. They offer to pay for themselves, then when the man doesn't insist on paying, she jumps ship. Others use it as a way to say "I'm not interested". While others are just wanting to start things off on a more even keel.

So, just ask her out and see what happens. Unless, of course, you don't want to see her again.
 
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TheDizzle is offline TheDizzle Post #6  May 18,2010, 7:57am
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Well I hope you didn't call her a "chick" during the date, but I digress .

I've had girls insist on insisting over my insistence to pay - and that point I just let them throw in whatever they want. It's never meant anything bad in my situation, she could just feel that it's important to show that she's just not there for the free meal - but that's a different topic that I think is discussed in a different thread.

You should be good man, as long as you got a good vibe from the date then I say fair play.
 
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Cape_Codder is offline Cape_Codder Post #7  May 18,2010, 7:58am

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I would ask her out again.

If she accepts, let her know that you are into women paying and try to get her to pay for both meals.
 
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truthaboutcupid is offline truthaboutcupid Post #8  May 18,2010, 8:02am
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Teh_Kaido wrote :
she said she'd pay for herself.
Give her my number!
 
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Teh_Kaido is offline Teh_Kaido Post #9  May 18,2010, 8:17am
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Thanks for the replies guys.

Depending on the date, I'll definitely ask her out again. I was just wondering if that means I shouldn't get my hopes up.

I don't mean to go off-topic, but I just wanted to clarify: I don't mean to offend when I call girls, 'chicks'. I can't really explain WHY, but I've always said "hey look at that chick" etc etc as opposed to "hey look at that girl/woman". I do the same thing for guys, I'll say "hey that dude looks like..." as opposed to "hey that guy looks like..."
 
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Faira is offline Faira Post #10  May 18,2010, 8:23am
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You may not mean to offend, but many women do find it offensive. You may want to think of how you're coming across.
 
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