Guy won't send more pics - is that normal?


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itsanewworld is offline itsanewworld Post #1  May 18,2010, 6:05am
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A guy has emailed me a few times and he sounds really great. And his headshot profile pic is absolutely stunningly handsome. What's not to like, right?

We've talked enough via email where I've sent him a few more pics of myself. I asked him if he had more of himself, too, so that when we do meet up I won't have any problem recognizing him. And then I joked that he was handsome enough to hold up to additional scrutiny! I was totally teasing about that though.

However, after sending that, I found a few pics of him on his facebook page and while he's not unattractive, he does NOT look very much like his profile photo. There's a resemblance, but that's about it. He is about a 9 in his profile pic and probably more like a 6 on a scale of 1-10 in his facebook photos.

I'm perfectly happy dating 6's if the guy is funny and witty and entertaining. But I find it really weird that I asked for more pics, and he said he was sure I wouldn't be disappointed in person, and that I could just wait and meet him in person.

Is that weird, though, or am I the bad one for asking for more pics?

And now that I know he doesn't really look like his profile pic, I wonder about his personality and what kind of person posts a pic that looks completely different than themselves. I still can't figure out how he managed to get that pic since it looks like about the same age he is now. Maybe he's just really good with Photoshop!

What do you guys think? He wants a real date this weekend - dinner out, the works. While I'm perfectly happy committing a block of time to a guy who is less handsome than a movie star (some of my most passionate love affairs have been with men that other women wouldn't barely glance at!), I am concerned about his need to try to post a false advertising kind of photo.

Thanks in advance. And please don't bash...I know I sound incredibly superficial, but I am not normally this way...just confused about this situation.
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #2  May 18,2010, 6:11am
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Normal ... no ... seems a lot of guys are more than happy to send rather revealing photographs
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  May 18,2010, 6:16am
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Photography is a strange thing... much of it is all about lighting.
I've seen face book pictures that would make you gag, and I know they were not an accurate representation of that person, at all.
He may have had a pro shoot his profile photos...who knows..
Airbrushing is a remarkable tool in the hands of a pro.

I would not get too worked up about one photo VS the other...
what have you got to lose?
Go on the date, have fun.
 
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itsanewworld is offline itsanewworld Post #4  May 18,2010, 6:21am
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TheThinker wrote :
Photography is a strange thing... much of it is all about lighting.
I've seen face book pictures that would make you gag, and I know they were not an accurate representation of that person, at all.
He may have had a pro shoot his profile photos...who knows..
Airbrushing is a remarkable tool in the hands of a pro.

I would not get too worked up about one photo VS the other...
what have you got to lose?
Go on the date, have fun.
yeah, just seeing the other photos didn't make me not want to date him. and I had asked for new photos BEFORE seeing any facebook photos. that was just a casual request.

but now, the fact that he won't, and the pictures are so different, makes me wonder about his personality!
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #5  May 18,2010, 6:25am

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i would go, but don't expect much.

professional photograhers are paid to make people look great- he probably looks more like his facebook photos.
 
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FairOne is offline FairOne Post #6  May 18,2010, 6:30am
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What scarlet said.
And I don't think it was weird of you to ask for more pics, especially since you had sent more yourself, but I think a lot of people will just want to meet instead of sending more pics.
i'm glad you were able to see his facebook page to get a better idea of what he'd really look like.
 
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Cape_Codder is offline Cape_Codder Post #7  May 18,2010, 6:34am

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One good possibility is that your friend used an older picture for his profile and the pictures posted on facebook are more recent. You could ask him when the photo was taken.
 
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itsanewworld is offline itsanewworld Post #8  May 18,2010, 6:37am
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well, that's the thing, the profile photo is obviously just a cropped shot and clearly not a professional photograph.

I'll still go out with him, but cautiously, keeping in mind whatever personality quirk makes him dependent on an old photograph to use for online dating.
Last edited by itsanewworld; May 27,2010 at 6:27am.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #9  May 18,2010, 6:57am
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Another possibility is simply that he may view someone asking for more photos as a person who wants to get stuck in e-mails and the online world forever, a person looking to develop a virtual relationship so he refused/ignored your request and simply asked to meet and make things real. After all, either you will like each other in real life or not. The photos at the end of the day don't make one bit of difference in that. Going out and meeting him is really no skin off your back.

Not saying that you are, but he may have thought that.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #10  May 18,2010, 7:01am
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itsanewworld wrote :

I'll still go out with him, but cautiously, keeping in mind whatever personality quirk makes him dependent on an old photograph to use for online dating.
But you're the one assuming that....that that was his clear intent....which you really don't know.
You've automatically come to the conclusion that his facebook photos are him...you just don't know that yet.

Now, you're looking for "personality quirks" to justify some assumption you've made...without even meeting this guy...

Do you think that's fair?
Would you like to be judged that way?

At this point, it could be just what your interpretation of the photo is.
Your the one automatically assuming his face book photos are an accurate photo of him...but yet, you still have no real yardstick to base that assumption on.
You will not know what his intent may be....you may never know.
All you can do now, is meet him, in person.
The trick will be trying to keep an open mind.
Last edited by TheThinker; May 18,2010 at 7:10am.
 
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