Sudden Frustration

I'm trying to figure out what her point is.

I have no idea since I would sooner drill a hole in my head than read self-help articles.

Really I think Thinker is right, ask her. If she is going to start reading that nonsense and try to make you into the perfect guy, according to whatever, she needs to know you want no part of it. She may have some friend who is sending her that stuff saying it will help and not realize it is hurting. Ya know? Talk to her.

Oh and the logging out stuff....I feel your pain.

Yeah, I'm kind of hoping that is not where she is going with this. We've been going out for a month and a half and everything has gone so well and we've had a lot of fun. The e-mails has no text just links to self help stuff which is especially frustrating. If there was one thing she wanted to point out, that would be one thing, but right now I'm starting to think she suddenly doesn't like me as I am which I don't like. I'm trying to not jump to conclusions, but I especially don't like that she did this on a day where I'm not really going to be able to call her to ask what is going on.

Yes, you can have an open and honest communication with her. I think the point of these discussion boards is to talk about things, and practice scenarios with a group of people to help you determine how you want to approach a situation. So, there is no problem with you posting a question like this.

IMO... her behavior demonstrates that she must be quite young. I think most mature women will admit that when they were young, they were probably more attracted to the "bad boys" who appeared to be harder to get or more abbrassive and less pleasing. Although, most women don't want a guy that it appears they can walk all over (the door mat), I would say that there are probably a good number of women who wants a guy to please them and be thoughtful and do the things they want to do. However, there are still plenty out there who do not.

If your main objective is to please your partner, there in turn, pleasing yourself... then there are plenty of women out there who would appreciate this... not saying leave your relationship, just saying it does not appear that this is going to please your partner. Just like she shouldn't change you... you probably can't change her and she doesn't find that behavior attractive.

no, the title has nothing to do with me having to type this all again because logging in once is apparently not enough for this site...

Things have been going very well between my girlfriend and I, or at least I thought. There had been no signs of anything being wrong and then I kind of got blindsided this morning. Last week I sent her an e-mail about a couple of jazz concerts happening nearby as I know she likes jazz. She e-mailed me back asking me if I choose things based only on what she wants to do. I usually do let her choose what to do on our dates but that is because she typically makes good choices.

I replied to tell her that I try to find things that I know she will enjoy that I can enjoy too. I like to try new things, and I think a jazz concert could be fun. Plus if we don't get together she can always go on her own if she wants to. (that seemed to bother her even though she does plenty of things on her own)

Well, now I have her sending me links to articles and books about "being the nice guy". One article mentioned the things a woman wants and what they don't want. The thing is that about 90% of what women don't want didn't apply to me and at least 90% of that was listed as what they do want fitted me. I'm trying to figure out what her point is.

It seems like she wants me to change who I am, which I'm not really happy about, especially since out of nowhere she is getting kind of heavy handed about it. What does everyone think?