Advice....I think she likes me


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goodguyneedsadvice is offline goodguyneedsadvice Post #1  May 17,2010, 5:38am
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i've gone out with this woman about 8 times in the last 2 months. We haven't been affectionate. I like to hold hands and kiss. I know I'm to blame with how slowly things are moving. I like her a lot and I have always been taught to be a gentleman, and I don't know how she is with affection. I have known people who didn't kiss until they were married, which is odd to me, but if that is what it takes, i will do that. My question is, I know that she likes me because she has done some pretty out of the way special things. We are not in high school. I am 28 and she is 29. How do you go about making things official these days? I thought about asking her if she prefers courting to dating or vice versa, but I haven't yet because it is really odd. I haven't dated a girl in over 4 years.

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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  May 17,2010, 5:49am
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I'm really confused with your reasoning and what exactly are you doing.....

You've gone out with her 8 times in two months - that sounds like dating to me, unless you are going out as platonic friends....

You say that you know that she likes you, so....what are you waiting for? Women generally won't take those steps for you and at some point lose interest because they think that you are not attracted to them if you are not moving the intimacy forward.

Being a gentleman means backing off if she says no or asks for more time, it does not mean that you just hang around and never try to kiss her or take things to the next level. Not doing anything, makes you either incredibly passive or not sufficiently interested from her perspective.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  May 17,2010, 6:30am
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goodguyneedsadvice wrote :
My question is, I know that she likes me because she has done some pretty out of the way special things. We are not in high school. I am 28 and she is 29. How do you go about making things official these days? I thought about asking her if she prefers courting to dating or vice versa, but I haven't yet because it is really odd. I haven't dated a girl in over 4 years.

Thanks
Is she dating others? if not, it's probably official, I'd say. If you feel the need to ask her just ask her..
I'm not going to comment on the lack of physical affection....doesn't sound like either one of you are worried about it. It wouldn't be my cup of tea, but..
Apparently it works for you two...who am I to argue with success?

Welcome to the "bored(s)".
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  May 17,2010, 6:38am
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You become "official" when you discuss being exclusive and you BOTH decided that is what you both want. Contrary to TheThinker's concept that if you have gone on a certain number of dates then you must be exclusive, until a discussion and agreement has been made it is merely an assumption on one or both of your parts. And you know what ass-u-me is.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #5  May 17,2010, 6:52am
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Who cares about being official or not if you two are having a good time? Eventually it becomes apparent you are a couple, personally for me 8 dates would mean we were a couple but that is just me.

As far as getting physical, try holding her hand or giving her a hug and see where it leads. You need to take the first move, if she rejects than that is that.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #6  May 17,2010, 9:45am
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goodguyneedsadvice wrote :
i've gone out with this woman about 8 times in the last 2 months. We haven't been affectionate. I like to hold hands and kiss. I know I'm to blame with how slowly things are moving. I like her a lot and I have always been taught to be a gentleman, and I don't know how she is with affection. I have known people who didn't kiss until they were married, which is odd to me, but if that is what it takes, i will do that. My question is, I know that she likes me because she has done some pretty out of the way special things. We are not in high school. I am 28 and she is 29. How do you go about making things official these days? I thought about asking her if she prefers courting to dating or vice versa, but I haven't yet because it is really odd. I haven't dated a girl in over 4 years.

Thanks
What have you talked about on these 8 dates?
Communication is what you both need to work on if this is going to last.
 
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Breezy1 is offline Breezy1 Post #7  May 17,2010, 10:03am
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goodguyneedsadvice wrote :
i've gone out with this woman about 8 times in the last 2 months. We haven't been affectionate. I like to hold hands and kiss. I know I'm to blame with how slowly things are moving. I like her a lot and I have always been taught to be a gentleman, and I don't know how she is with affection. I have known people who didn't kiss until they were married, which is odd to me, but if that is what it takes, i will do that. My question is, I know that she likes me because she has done some pretty out of the way special things. We are not in high school. I am 28 and she is 29. How do you go about making things official these days? I thought about asking her if she prefers courting to dating or vice versa, but I haven't yet because it is really odd. I haven't dated a girl in over 4 years.

Thanks
If I really like a guy, and it seems that she likes you, I'm going to want him to kiss me. If it's been 8 dates, and she hasn't stated her preference one way or the other, she may not be adverse to a little physical affection. Ask her if you can give her a kiss. I once dated a man who, at the very beginning of the relationship, would always hold my face in his hands, look me straight in the eye and ask "May I kiss you now?" It was one of the most romantic gestures I'd ever experienced
Last edited by Breezy1; May 17,2010 at 11:08am.
 
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goodguyneedsadvice is offline goodguyneedsadvice Post #8  May 17,2010, 3:05pm
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I guess I am just trying to find ways to ask her if she wants to pursue a relationship or see where things go, without it sounding awkward.
 
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LilyBelles is offline LilyBelles Post #9  May 17,2010, 6:28pm
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Since you've been seeing this girl for 2 months I don't think you'd be out of line to "make a move" and hold her hand. You will rather quickly either get the vibe of "I'm digging this!" or "Yikes! Let go! Let GO!!" and your wonderings can cease. I would not be surprised if she is actually sitting around wondering why you are not being more affectionate to her. We girls like to know we are wanted, you know!

You seem like a sweet, considerate guy, and I am sure she is enjoying your company.

I will say, though, that if a guy asked if I "prefer courting to dating" I would answer, "Huh??" because I'm not even sure what you mean by that. "Courting" sounds very Victorian, to be honest.

Good luck!!
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #10  May 17,2010, 6:33pm
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goodguyneedsadvice wrote :
I guess I am just trying to find ways to ask her if she wants to pursue a relationship or see where things go, without it sounding awkward.
Hummm, she is still seeing you, right? This is good. So I think it would be safe to say it is time you two actually did have a little talk.
Next date promise yourself you will ask her how she feels about your relationship. You might be surprised that she opens up to you and you wont find it to be awkward after all.
 
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