Ladies, How Soon Should a Guy Call?


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BigP is offline BigP Post #1  May 16,2010, 9:54pm
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Remember the movie "Swingers" with Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau? There's the scene where Favreau's friend, played by Vaughn, tells him to wait several days to call a girl or he'll look desperate. Vaughn: "You know what. Ha ha ha Mike, laugh all you want but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party." But in the end of the movie Favreau calls a girl immediately ...and they click.

Ladies, how long after he gets your number should he call you? If he calls you the same day is that (a) desperate, or (b) just interested? How long is too long?
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  May 16,2010, 10:00pm
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If I'm interested in the guy as well, he can call me five minutes later. If I'm not, yeah, the same day, even three days later, would be too soon.

You can follow the three day rule and run the risk of her catching on and being put off by it. Because it is a game. Or, you can follow your gut, gauge her interest level and call her when you feel it is appropriate.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #3  May 16,2010, 10:03pm
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Depends on what time of day you got her number. If numbers were exchanged online early in the evening, calling that night is fine.... actually MORE than fine! If numbers were exchanged rather late at night or at an odd hour, it might be nice to send one more email asking when would be a good time to call. Generally, sooner is much preferred to later!

To answer your specific questions:
If he calls the same day that is showing he's interested!
How long is too long? Three days is FAR too long.

It continues to mystify me why guys are so worried about looking "desperate" when you've both just expressed enough interest in each other to want to talk and get to know more!
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #4  May 16,2010, 10:06pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
If I'm interested in the guy as well, he can call me five minutes later. If I'm not, yeah, the same day, even three days later, would be too soon.
But if you're not interested in the guy, why give him your phone number at all?

To the OP: Even if she's not interested, that does not make you "desperate" for having called!
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #5  May 16,2010, 10:07pm
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Not a lady, but here is my non-rule..rule! Take the guessing game right out it, when I ask for the number, I also suggest the day and time, and I always provide her with my number, That way she knows who is calling.(limits call screening)
Last edited by TrekRyder10; May 16,2010 at 10:10pm.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  May 16,2010, 10:15pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
But if you're not interested in the guy, why give him your phone number at all?

To the OP: Even if she's not interested, that does not make you "desperate" for having called!
I see you point, and I guess an explanation of where this could occur might be needed.

Met a guy at a local casino. He hit on me and asked for my phone number. After he received requested phone number we continued to talk. Turns out he was still living with his on again off again girl friend. Well, he already had my phone number, what the heck was I supposed to do? I found it such an awkward situation and didn't know how to ask for my number back.
 
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swastew is offline swastew Post #7  May 17,2010, 3:11am
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I would prefer sooner to later. 3 days is too long unless he's tied up in business in Tokyo with no phone...
Men won't seem desperate if I like them. I don't understand that thinking.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  May 17,2010, 5:03am
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I thought I was supposed to wait a week so she would start to get all panicky thinking that I was not interested
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #9  May 17,2010, 5:17am

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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I thought I was supposed to wait a week so she would start to get all panicky thinking that I was not interested
Well we at least know that method works on WonderWoman. After 4 days she was foaming at the mouth and raging at her phone for a guy to call her.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #10  May 17,2010, 5:22am
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After a date, ideally call the following day if you like her.

Anything past three days and I'll read it as I'm your plan C and so I'll ignore you. Calling the same day or evening - a bit much even if I liked you. Give me some breathing room to think about the date and do other things in my life besides just talking to you.
 
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