AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #1  May 16,2010, 9:48am
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I've been thinking about a few threads on here where it is obvious the issues in the relationship are with the OP, not the person they are complaining about. They try to make their issue with someone else's past, family, whatever, the other person's problem and not their own.

So, sometimes, it really is about me and not you. What do you all think of this? Because most of the time I hear how people think this is a bogus, cop-out kind of break up line. Yes, the problem is something about "you" but the issue really is about "me" and how I can't deal with it.

Should we not stop reading into this break up line as bunk?
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #2  May 16,2010, 10:04am
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AndieIsMe wrote :
I've been thinking about a few threads on here where it is obvious the issues in the relationship are with the OP, not the person they are complaining about. They try to make their issue with someone else's past, family, whatever, the other person's problem and not their own.

So, sometimes, it really is about me and not you. What do you all think of this? Because most of the time I hear how people think this is a bogus, cop-out kind of break up line. Yes, the problem is something about "you" but the issue really is about "me" and how I can't deal with it.

Should we not stop reading into this break up line as bunk?
=a nice way of saying I'm just not that interested. If someone really is that interested they will attempt to make things work.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #3  May 16,2010, 10:07am

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well, the one doing the breaking up just wants to be nice usually.

the one who actually has the issues thinks they are awsome no matter what someone says, so maybe it's just easier that way.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #4  May 16,2010, 10:11am
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If someone wants to break up, they can do it for any reason they want, even a reason they can't explain, so I don't see the big deal.

If you're being dumped, does it matter very much what the reason is?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  May 16,2010, 10:11am
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What one person considers to be a problem is something that other people would be fine with.

Many good people can nonetheless be bad for each other.

I would never personally use a line like that, but I can readily see ending something due to a simple incompatibility.
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #6  May 16,2010, 10:40am
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I've never said that to anyone, and never had it said to me. It does seem like a way to just put an end to things without having to say much about your reasons.

I would think in general, if I knew I had some issue that was damaging the relationship, I'd be trying to work on it. I don't think it would make me say "I can't deal with you, sorry".

It might make the other person say that though! LOL.
 
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Cape_Codder is offline Cape_Codder Post #7  May 16,2010, 10:47am

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It is sometimes easier to accept responsibility for the end of a relationship then to attempt to explain to the other party what it is you do not like about them or what quality they have that you find incompatible.

The traits or qualities of another you find incompatible may not be shortcomings or negative, thet are just atributes you can't live with.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #8  May 16,2010, 11:11am

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I think it just depends upon on how you look at it...

It could be a very true statement...

It is not you, it is me.

Read - I am not attracted to you. Does not mean, you are not attractive just not to me - hence, it is not you, it is me.

See...it is all just how you look at it.

And I agree with Scarlet, the ones that do have their own "issues" that cause issues would not be the ones saying it is not you, it is me. They would be the ones saying it is you! you! you! not me!. lol!
Last edited by LizziePooh; May 16,2010 at 11:15am.
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #9  May 16,2010, 11:13am
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Well, it's at least nicer than hearing "Sorry, I've found a bigger better deal."

And, yes, I've heard both from women I met through eH.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #10  May 16,2010, 11:15am

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insertscreenname wrote :
Well, it's at least nicer than hearing "Sorry, I've found a bigger better deal."

And, yes, I've heard both from women I met through eH.
lol! So is it preferable to poofing?
 
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