Does being a mellow guy encourage aggressive behavior from women?


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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #1  May 15,2010, 11:16pm
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I've worked at being a relaxed guy. In the past, I've feel I've been too stressed about stuff, so I have tried to become a more relaxed person, easy going, etc.

I'm not a push-over or a wimp, I feel stronger in myself than ever before.

Does this type of personality naturally attract or encourage more aggressive behavior from women? Does this tend to inspire to test that relaxed mind, or drama by trying to start little fights or arguments?

Obviously I have my own theories on this, but was interested in hearing opinions. And I definitely think this can occur when the tables are turned.
 
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DrTonto is offline DrTonto Post #2  May 15,2010, 11:23pm

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NO! It's your body chemistry, your scent and your sense of humor.
 
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waltercl is offline waltercl Post #3  May 15,2010, 11:35pm
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The answer is no. But I'd also like to add that I don't believe a behavior in either a man or a woman can cause someone to be aggressive. Men who are abusive use that as an excuse. In other words they blame their aggressive behavior on the woman claiming that she is making him do the things he is doing. I believe that if someone is aggressive/abusive then it is because of their own issues.

However I will say that if either a man or a woman is co-dependent and has a tendency to blame themselves for other people's behavior then they will be attracted to an aggressive/abusive type person, and that person will be aggressive toward them because they know they will take it.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #4  May 16,2010, 1:01am
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It can do if you're not reacting to things they want you to react to, it's easy to become uncommunicative (or at least be percieved as uncommunicative) if you stop responding to things that you think are too dramatic or stressfull.
Relationships, the art of walking the fine line between rapture and disaster.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #5  May 16,2010, 1:25am
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When you are relaxed you may look as though you don't care about day-to-day issues. Even if that is not the case, the perception can be very frustrating.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #6  May 16,2010, 3:12am
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robv_la wrote :
Does this type of personality naturally attract or encourage more aggressive behavior from women? Does this tend to inspire to test that relaxed mind, or drama by trying to start little fights or arguments?
One of my male friends is a very laidback man. I don't ever recall seeing him in a flap. We work together and if I become distressed or stressed over something, I usually find it very soothing to be in his company for 10-15 minutes. He's generally like a balm. I say generally, because he does tend to do that thing where sometimes a man will equate emotion with a problem and then want to fix it/me. He feels like sandpaper when he does that! lol

I can be quite a forceful personality ... however that said, I find I have zero interest trying to get him annoyed. I know that I could if I nagged and nagged at him, but you know what? He's my friend, I care about his wellbeing and I'm just not interested in trying to antagonise him in that manner. I really hope you are not meeting men or women doing that to you?
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #7  May 16,2010, 4:15am

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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I've been moderated!


I made a swear! Oops. Can you lovely moderators please take it out and post my nonsense without it? Thanks.

It's ok, I've sorted it now.
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Work_in_Progress is offline Work_in_Progress Post #8  May 16,2010, 6:06am
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There are both men and women who seem to feel that unless their significant other (or any other person they're engaged in some situation with) reacts as quickly and strongly as they do, they don't care "enough." I've known people like that to become more aggressive in their own behavior in an attempt to elicit the kind of response they want.

The stronger but more mellow and emotionally steady guy is the kind I and the single women I know are looking for - in fact, this is one of my top criteria.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  May 16,2010, 6:43am
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Being mellow does not imply being passive. Being passive will attract aggressive women.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #10  May 16,2010, 6:54am
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wrote :
Does this type of personality naturally attract or encourage more aggressive behavior from women? Does this tend to inspire to test that relaxed mind, or drama by trying to start little fights or arguments?
Rob-
they may want to try to "bring the drama" but ultimately, only you can keep it from happening.
I've worked with people like this before.
Every sentence has an exclamation point at the end.
if you listened to everything they said, you'd think life & death hung in the balance....with every single word they uttered.
I've found that these people are like pessimists. Or, the expression I use is "emotional vampires", because they suck the energy out of people in the room.(or try to)
Last edited by TheThinker; May 16,2010 at 6:56am.
 
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