When to give up on a match?

My advice is you should not be the initiator... looks like you shot yourself in the foot by making the first move. Man like to be the pursuer, so even if they may like you, as long as you initiate calls, e-mails etc, they would quickly lose interest... Same thing goes for returning their calls/e-mails too quickly, too. And if you stop pursuing him and he does not even think about calling you... that means he is not interested and move on to the next one. Believe me this happened to me over and over again, too... I suffered from it. I always like to think that men and women are equal and we are both highly independent but this does not really work in relationships. Women are turned on by attention but men are turned off by it. I highly recommend reading the book "The Rules", they sound silly at first but they work! Good luck!!

He may have been dating/communicating with others at the same time. At some point he's decided to date someone else but won't burn any bridges in case he wants to reconnect with you. There's nothing wrong with communication or seeing others until* a couple decides not to see others. So I think you shoold communicate/date others and if you hear from him again you can decide whether you want to see him again. In the event he is sincere and is really interested, not hearing from you may be just the thing to push him into contacting you. I think he could have been a little more stragiht forward with you. Something you might want to think about if you happen to see him again.

I had matched with this guy on eharmony and he initiated communication. We'd have long emails, and when we started talking on the phone, we'd have hour long conversations. I live in Colorado and he lives in Florida but when we had started talking he had already started building his own house in Colorado and planned on moving when his house was finished (probably March or April time frame).* Anyway, he flew me out to Florida on spur of the moment for New Years.* I stayed for a good 4 days and 3 nights and it was amazing.* We got along really well and we really seemed to hit it off. We have lots in common and we're almost the same person.* It just felt so right, and he even said that himself. He took me out to a really nice restaurant for dinner one night and drinks afterwards. He wouldn't let me pay for anything when I was out there, and I had told him "i owe you for everything" and he replied with "don't worry about it, just cook me a nice dinner when i come out to colorado". He would start sentences with "when i come to colorado, we should...." On new years eve, he broke out his baby pictures of him without me even asking.* When he drove me back to the airport, he said "please please call or text when you get into your connection and when you get home. i don't care if it's 4 or 5 in the morning, i just want to know that you got home safe" and said "i'll be visiting in february to check on my house" and when he dropped me off at the airport, he grabbed my face and kissed me goodbye.* So I text him when I got home, and he texts me back later the next day with "hey i'm glad to hear that you got home safe. hope youre havin a good day!" a few days later he sends an email with "hey, i'm not sure if youve been trying to get a hold of me but i left my car in one of the rental cars we rented out. i feel so lost without it. how was your weekend? hope you have a good week!" so i replied and he replied an hour later (obviously he was checking his emails consistently to hear back from me). after about a week and a half i still hadnt heard back from him so i send him an email that says "hey, if youre not interested please just let me know. i thought we really hit it off but if you arent interested please just be honest with me and let me know" that email was almost 3 weeks ago and i still havent heard anything from him. It's all just so weird to me. If he wasn't even interested, he wouldn't have even told me that he left his phone in that car. Am I right? I'm sure he's got a lot on his plate right now, but I hate to defend him.. it doesn't take but 5 mins to send me an email.

I had matched with this guy on eharmony and he initiated communication. We'd have long emails, and when we started talking on the phone, we'd have hour long conversations. I live in Colorado and he lives in Florida but when we had started talking he had already started building his own house in Colorado and planned on moving when his house was finished (probably March or April time frame).* Anyway, he flew me out to Florida on spur of the moment for New Years.* I stayed for a good 4 days and 3 nights and it was amazing.* We got along really well and we really seemed to hit it off. We have lots in common and we're almost the same person.* It just felt so right, and he even said that himself. He took me out to a really nice restaurant for dinner one night and drinks afterwards. He wouldn't let me pay for anything when I was out there, and I had told him "i owe you for everything" and he replied with "don't worry about it, just cook me a nice dinner when i come out to colorado". He would start sentences with "when i come to colorado, we should...." On new years eve, he broke out his baby pictures of him without me even asking.* When he drove me back to the airport, he said "please please call or text when you get into your connection and when you get home. i don't care if it's 4 or 5 in the morning, i just want to know that you got home safe" and said "i'll be visiting in february to check on my house" and when he dropped me off at the airport, he grabbed my face and kissed me goodbye.* So I text him when I got home, and he texts me back later the next day with "hey i'm glad to hear that you got home safe. hope youre havin a good day!" a few days later he sends an email with "hey, i'm not sure if youve been trying to get a hold of me but i left my car in one of the rental cars we rented out. i feel so lost without it. how was your weekend? hope you have a good week!" so i replied and he replied an hour later (obviously he was checking his emails consistently to hear back from me). after about a week and a half i still hadnt heard back from him so i send him an email that says "hey, if youre not interested please just let me know. i thought we really hit it off but if you arent interested please just be honest with me and let me know" that email was almost 3 weeks ago and i still havent heard anything from him. It's all just so weird to me. If he wasn't even interested, he wouldn't have even told me that he left his phone in that car. Am I right? I'm sure he's got a lot on his plate right now, but I hate to defend him.. it doesn't take but 5 mins to send me an email.

OK, I'm new to these boards, not so new to this site. Happy New Year all! Here's my issue: A month ago I was matched up with this guy I thought was great. I initiated communication ... things went well and we met. After date 1 I sent him a thanks for lunch email, he said "same here, keep in touch" I called him one Sunday and we made plans for date 2. We went out this past Friday for date 2, I had a decent time. He hugged me goodbye, said he'd call sometime, but hasn't called since then. I emailed him a Happy New Year greeting and he did write back a "same to you" email, but did not write anymore than that. Is it my imagination or am I the one pursuing him? I've heard of laid back, but this is getting annoying now, I'm getting a ton of mixed signals, like he put his arm around me and said some sweet things, but then he falls off the planet. I'm about to give up on this one. Anyone have any advice, I'd love to hear it.

I am not at all offended if a woman has no interest in me. I don't expect every woman I go out with to be into me no more than I expect to be into every woman I meet. Sometimes there is no chemisty, but you can still enjoy yourself on a date - its a date, not a wedding - so I just chill. And if a phone call isn't returned, I take the hint and keep it moving. Why bother finding out who what and why? Sometimes it just isn't a good fit but the other person sees it differently. That should tell you something right there - NOT A MATCH. Nothing personal. thats just life. Everybody gets rejected. I will say for the woman who insist on being the pursuer, when you do that, you really have no idea whether the guy is really into you or not or just killing time. Allow the man to show interest in you, then you won't have to wonder if you do not hear from him. If he is interested, you won't be able to get rid of him.

You ladies , it saddens me to hear this I too have been treated this way, but now its just so simple. Its not that they are busy, its just that the challenge is gone,when women start to make themselves avaliable to them....im saying thatmen want and need the chase, they want to feelthe adreline rush, they want the heart pounding moment of calling her andnot knowing if she will answer her phone.....so when womencall first after a date or send a email text message, thanking them or whatever ..the thrill is gone because he knows if he callsshe will answer her phone, the chase is over, and he has moved on to find the a woman that will give hima challenge,that is what will keep him interested ......Ladies we need to realize that we have the power to make any man we want to fall in love with us.... You have play it cool and not come on too strong...Do not call him!!!! that is the first rule , from day one you should only return his phone calls.... You should still be living your life and not wondering if he'll call or not... that also means no emails or text messages... And definetly never ask him out !!!!!!, you will know that everytime your on a date or talking to him on the phone that he wants to be with you and talk to you , and thathe's not just being nice ..... Let him persue you thats the secret........There are no mixed signals when to comes to men, they are very clear..When a man wants you nothing can keep him away, When a man doesnt want you nothing can make him stay....

If it's early in the process, like after the first round of questions, I have no trouble sending a closed message with a why from the list. But because the list does not have every reason I may have, I have sent matches a Fast Track message to tell them exactly why. But after a first date I find it harder to be totally honest. I meet a match I was very interested in the other day for lunch. We had some great communication by email, text and phone and I was excited to meet him face-to-face to see if the attraction would be there in the real meeting. Well, it just wasn’t. I felt no chemistry at all. But the guy was a really great guy. He told me the story of how his ex-wife hosed him in their divorce and what she is doing to try to make his life miserable. I commiserated and had to agree that he was in a difficult spot. I want to be his friend, but I really see no romance possibilities here. He has sent me 2 thank you’s and I can tell he is very interested in me. I just hate telling him the truth. I am so not good at making things sound nice. Besides, I’m sure whatever I say he is going to think my “real” reason is his baggage.