Does growing up without a father effect dating?


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dogwood is offline dogwood Post #1  May 15,2010, 3:49pm
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not having a father has effected me. some things are good like being very independent, others are not so good like being less trusting.

i think i am different from other women who had their dads around.

is this something that men take into account when getting to know a woman with the possiblity of dating/relationship?

would it be a deal breaker on starting a relationship?
Last edited by dogwood; May 15,2010 at 4:56pm.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #2  May 15,2010, 4:40pm
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Bumping you back up to see if we can get some action on your thread. I have nothing to contribute other than that...
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  May 15,2010, 4:45pm
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When I see a new woman on a dating site, communicate or meet her, I don't even think about parents.

I am looking at her standard of appearance-care, employment, education, lifestyle, interests, etc.

If she brings up the family subject (which almost all women do), I generally avoid it.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #4  May 15,2010, 4:49pm
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I had a mixed relationship when it came to my dad. He took off for good when I was 8. This was after my mom had remarried and the man who I call my dad now was already in my life. It took me a long time to get over his leaving, but I have a great man who took his spot and is a much better man than my biological father will ever be.

I have never run into guys who seemed to be preying on me because of this. In fact, because of my issues with him leaving (took me a loooong time) I have had boyfriends who comments on my lack of confidence. I'm fairly over that whole thing, but know it still rears it's ugly head once in a while.

I'm not sure how you would spot a man doing this. How would he even know unless someone told him?
 
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dogwood is offline dogwood Post #5  May 15,2010, 4:49pm
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littlebluemonkeymind wrote :
Bumping you back up to see if we can get some action on your thread. I have nothing to contribute other than that...
hi. nice to see you today.
 
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dogwood is offline dogwood Post #6  May 15,2010, 4:51pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
I had a mixed relationship when it came to my dad. He took off for good when I was 8. This was after my mom had remarried and the man who I call my dad now was already in my life. It took me a long time to get over his leaving, but I have a great man who took his spot and is a much better man than my biological father will ever be.

I have never run into guys who seemed to be preying on me because of this. In fact, because of my issues with him leaving (took me a loooong time) I have had boyfriends who comments on my lack of confidence. I'm fairly over that whole thing, but know it still rears it's ugly head once in a while.

I'm not sure how you would spot a man doing this. How would he even know unless someone told him?
i will go change the wording on that. not quite my intent. sorry.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  May 15,2010, 5:19pm
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dogwood wrote :
not having a father has effected me. some things are good like being very independent, others are not so good like being less trusting.

i think i am different from other women who had their dads around.

is this something that men take into account when getting to know a woman with the possibility of dating/relationship?

would it be a deal breaker on starting a relationship?
While I do inquire as to my matches family background it is not because I am going to use that information to judge her suitability as a date or prey upon girls that did not have a father figure in their youth.

However, some of what the psychologists have to say about this. The opposite sex parent has the most influence on the child. It does not matter which parent spends the most time in raising the child it is still the opposite sex parent that exerts the most influence. The particular type of influence that the father may have on the daughter is a very individual situation. A girl could grow up in a two parent home but the father could be overbearing and controlling which would have a negative effect. On the other hand a girl may have not had her father around yet still had positive male role models involved, such as uncle, older brother or maybe just a neighbor, and developed into a strong, independent woman.
 
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isis1980 is offline isis1980 Post #8  May 15,2010, 5:21pm
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I think growing up without my father has affected me. I tend to seek men who can provide me with stability and security but then turn out to be emotionally unavailable. They make promises they wont keep. I dont know how to even began to break the cycle. I recently started seeing a therapist. I'm hoping that maybe she can help me recognize decent men because I have no clue. I have a friend who grew up with a very loving father that worked hard and provided for his family and her boyfriend now is the exact same way. I cant help but be jealous. The issue is that men are not emotionally unavailable for all women. Those same men I have dated have at one time been the type of men I seek but for other women. I need to learn how to figure out quickly if they will be the type of men I seek for me. Its really hard.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #9  May 15,2010, 5:22pm
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dogwood wrote :
hi. nice to see you today.
i gave you 5 stars. i thought this was cute
 
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curious_girl is offline curious_girl Post #10  May 15,2010, 5:51pm
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D_Lion wrote :
When I see a new woman on a dating site, communicate or meet her, I don't even think about parents.

I am looking at her standard of appearance-care, employment, education, lifestyle, interests, etc.

If she brings up the family subject (which almost all women do), I generally avoid it.
why???
 
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