Likelihood to cheat and past sexual behavior


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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #1  May 14,2010, 10:38am
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A side topic I've seen mentioned at least a few times on different threads concerns how likely a person is to cheat while in a relationship and his or her past sexual behavior. Would you estimate that the chances are higher for one of the following people to cheat if in a relationship with you?

Person A: has had sex with two people in his or her life.

Person B: has had casual sex with 40 people in his or her life.

What I've previously seen posted on this topic is that each of these past behaviors is irrelevant regarding likelihood to cheat while in a future relationship. If I were to consider a relationship with these people I'd tend to think person A would be less likely to cheat. How about you?
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  May 14,2010, 10:47am
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jayjay wrote :
A side topic I've seen mentioned at least a few times on different threads concerns how likely a person is to cheat while in a relationship and his or her past sexual behavior. Would you estimate that the chances are higher for one of the following people to cheat if in a relationship with you?

Person A: has had sex with two people in his or her life.

Person B: has had casual sex with 40 people in his or her life.

What I've previously seen posted on this topic is that each of these past behaviors is irrelevant regarding likelihood to cheat while in a future relationship. If I were to consider a relationship with these people I'd tend to think person A would be less likely to cheat. How about you?
I think age would enter into it somewhere also...if someone was, say, 25 and had the number of partners you stated...
that would be a bit different than someone who is 70, for example.

I'm not sure if it would be the indicator for their "likelihood to cheat", but it would certainly make me re-think my decision to date them, that's for dang sure.

I noticed you added "casual sex" in the second example, also...was that intentional?
Last edited by TheThinker; May 14,2010 at 10:49am.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #3  May 14,2010, 11:43am
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jayjay wrote :
A side topic I've seen mentioned at least a few times on different threads concerns how likely a person is to cheat while in a relationship and his or her past sexual behavior. Would you estimate that the chances are higher for one of the following people to cheat if in a relationship with you?

Person A: has had sex with two people in his or her life.

Person B: has had casual sex with 40 people in his or her life.

What I've previously seen posted on this topic is that each of these past behaviors is irrelevant regarding likelihood to cheat while in a future relationship. If I were to consider a relationship with these people I'd tend to think person A would be less likely to cheat. How about you?
Let's change the assumptions:

Person A: has had sex with two people in his or her life and has cheated in both relationships.

Person B: has had sex (not buying the casual) with 40 people in his or her life and has never lied to any of them, nor cheated on the ones who might have been exclusive relationships.

Who looks like the better risk then?

There really isn't a correlation. I think you're relating lack of experience with virtue. It just isn't so. Lack of experience could be a conscious choice but it could also be: cultural conditioning, lack of opportunity, lack of desire, fear of consequences.

The likelihood of cheating is more readily predicted by prior instances of cheating, particularly if it is a consistent pattern throughout relationships.

The other factor here is that you've chosen two extremes...2 relationships versus 40, and you've added prejudicial information by designating the person with more experience as having engaged only in casual sex. The more likely scenario is a much lower range and a mix of exclusive and casual relationships.
Last edited by littlebluemonkeymind; May 14,2010 at 11:48am.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  May 14,2010, 11:46am
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I don't think there is any correlation whatsoever between the number of past partners and cheating.

You could argue that someone with more experience also knows better what it's all about and what they want in a partner and so is less likely to cheat or leave you for someone else - they've settled with you because they know that they want you. Whereas someone who has had very limited experience may wake up one day and decide that they've missed out and want to explore. Whether they cheat on you or leave you really depends on their core values, not number of past partners.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  May 14,2010, 11:47am
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Not enough info here!

Age would matter, yes, and also timespan (was that 40 people in 60 years but 2 people in 15 minutes?) ... but the main determinant is going to be values and character, and there's nothing here about that.

From your answer, JayJay, I'm guessing you'd view the 40-partner person as lacking values/character? Could be true. Could also be they have always had a No-Cheating value but never had a committed relationship; or perhaps they have through experience developed a No-Cheating value by now?

Maybe the 40-partner person has *never* cheated on any of them! but the 2-partner person is cheating on partner 1 with partner 2!
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #6  May 14,2010, 11:48am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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DancingFool wrote :
I don't think there is any correlation whatsoever between the number of past partners and cheating.

You could argue that someone with more experience also knows better what it's all about and what they want in a partner and so is less likely to cheat or leave you for someone else - they've settled with you because they know that they want you. Whereas someone who has had very limited experience may wake up one day and decide that they've missed out and want to explore. Whether they cheat on you or leave you really depends on their core values, not number of past partners.
That's the reasoning I've most commonly heard with regard to this topic.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #7  May 14,2010, 11:51am
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jayjay wrote :
A side topic I've seen mentioned at least a few times on different threads concerns how likely a person is to cheat while in a relationship and his or her past sexual behavior. Would you estimate that the chances are higher for one of the following people to cheat if in a relationship with you?

Person A: has had sex with two people in his or her life.

Person B: has had casual sex with 40 people in his or her life.

What I've previously seen posted on this topic is that each of these past behaviors is irrelevant regarding likelihood to cheat while in a future relationship. If I were to consider a relationship with these people I'd tend to think person A would be less likely to cheat. How about you?
It would seem like case A would be most likely to be faithful and yet I've seen cases where a person who didn't have many partners reaches a point where they think they want to see what they missed out on, and I've seen cases where a person who has had many partners finally realized that one more empty sex encounter wasn't going to make them happy and it was time to change.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #8  May 14,2010, 11:51am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Sassafras54 wrote :
Not enough info here!

Age would matter, yes, and also timespan (was that 40 people in 60 years but 2 people in 15 minutes?) ... but the main determinant is going to be values and character, and there's nothing here about that.

From your answer, JayJay, I'm guessing you'd view the 40-partner person as lacking values/character? Could be true. Could also be they have always had a No-Cheating value but never had a committed relationship; or perhaps they have through experience developed a No-Cheating value by now?

Maybe the 40-partner person has *never* cheated on any of them! but the 2-partner person is cheating on partner 1 with partner 2!
I too would think it more likely that someone who has previously cheated would do so in the future.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #9  May 14,2010, 11:54am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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nightling wrote :
It would seem like case A would be most likely to be faithful and yet I've seen cases where a person who didn't have many partners reach a point where they think they want to see what they missed out on, and I've seen cases where a person who had had many partners finally realized that one more empty sex encounter wasn't going to make them happy and it was time to change.
I completely agree. There are certainly many of each case. I'm only talking about the 'likelihood' here. That could potentially be anything from one person being 1% more likely to engage in cheating to a much greater percentage.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #10  May 14,2010, 11:57am
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TheThinker wrote :
I think age would enter into it somewhere also...if someone was, say, 25 and had the number of partners you stated...
that would be a bit different than someone who is 70, for example.

I'm not sure if it would be the indicator for their "likelihood to cheat", but it would certainly make me re-think my decision to date them, that's for dang sure.

I noticed you added "casual sex" in the second example, also...was that intentional?
Yes, I expect age has something to do with it.

I added 'casual sex' because there is always the question of whether the sexual partners were in a relationship, casual or what have you. I needed to define the scenario one way or another, and I'd tend to think the 'casual' attitude toward sex presents more of a contrast.
 
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