I finally have a chance for a second date and I am blowing it....

My advice is to STOP looking for the chemistry and spark and just take it one step at a time. Enjoy yourself and don't think about the spark until the date has ended.

I think too many people expect instant gratification in dating. They want the spark immediately. If they dont' get it, they'll never get it. Well, ya know what, if you've already decided there's no spark, there won't be.

I like to think dating and relationships is kinda like a flame. If the flame isn't there, it isn't there. But if you're not willing to light it, then it will never be there.

Also, using the flame analogy, a very hot burning flame, many times burns out very fast.

I've had initial no sparks turn into something amazing, like my 3 1/2 year relationship. And i had something that burned hot, end within a couple dates. I also think a lot of people want that burning hot date to last forever. It won't. It either cools down, or it goes out completely.

Dont' think of giving this guy a second chance. Think of it as giving yourself a second chance. Let him worry about himself. If this second chance doesn't wow you, or you feel less than you did the first date, then you know in your heart that you gave it a shot, and it just didn't work.

Well, I finally have someone that wants a second date with me. Yikes. I enjoyed his company on the first date. I wasn't feeling well, but went anyway. I didn't feel the sparks, so to say. I know there have been topics about this before, so I thought I would post. He did hug me and gave me a kiss at my car. He just leaned in and then said "I just had to do that." I didn't mind.

So, I got to thinking about it, and decided that since the spark wasn't really there at that time, I wouldn't go out a second time. I didn't think I wanted to have someone more invested in me than I was in him. I finally told him that I was having some issues with my son (which is true) and decided to hold off on dating for a little. My daughter lambasted me for this. I think I deserve it. Anyway, here are a couple of excerpts of messages he sent me afterward. I will explain why I am posting these in a minute.

I admit to walking away thinking you are one of the nicest, most together people that I have met in quite a while. I not just saying that. I told a friend of mine that I had finally met someone really worth getting to know better.
Think about it a bit if you would. Take care and hang in there. You are strong and you have a very, very good head on your shoulders.

I sent a message back asking him to give me a couple of weeks and I appreciated his kind compliments. Then:

Take care Mary, know that there is someone out here that thinks you are interesting and attractive. Contact me when you can. I will look forward to talking more.

So, anyway, I decided that I was behaving like many of matches that we complain about. I wasn't giving him a chance. I would like for the spark to be there right away, but what a strong, likeable personality he has.

I think I would be wrong not to go out again.

Just wanted to post about something on my mind.

Besides, I did join the EHA dating experience and believe I should live up to the challenge.