Discerning or Judging?


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dogwood is offline dogwood Post #1  May 12,2010, 8:59am
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In life, making decisions is an everyday event. What do i have for breakfast, what should i wear to work, who should i date, and on and on.

I have judged others and have been judged. to me, judging has notes of anger, insecurity, lack of knowledge.

Discernment is the soft, reasonable side of judging.

what distiguishes it from judging is the lack of hatred, anger, jealousy, and a host of other negative emotions.

discernment is a balanced thinking process that protects you and your interests but doesn't make unfair, uninformed decisions.

i try hard to be discerning but don't always make the grade.

does anyone else use both of these styles and how does it work out for you?

if you have been aware of these possible styles of decision making, do you lean toward one or the other?

it isn't easy to be fair all the time.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #2  May 12,2010, 9:09am

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dogwood wrote :
In life, making decisions is an everyday event. What do i have for breakfast, what should i wear to work, who should i date, and on and on.

I have judged others and have been judged. to me, judging has notes of anger, insecurity, lack of knowledge.

Discernment is the soft, reasonable side of judging.

what distiguishes it from judging is the lack of hatred, anger, jealousy, and a host of other negative emotions.

discernment is a balanced thinking process that protects you and your interests but doesn't make unfair, uninformed decisions.

i try hard to be discerning but don't always make the grade.

does anyone else use both of these styles and how does it work out for you?

if you have been aware of these possible styles of decision making, do you lean toward one or the other?

it isn't easy to be fair all the time.
I just want to add that even when people discern instead of judging, they still use past experiences, which sometimes if the experiences were bad, it can still steer you in the wrong direction.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #3  May 12,2010, 9:23am
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There are two sides to it as well. You may speak or act with discernmnent, but the other may view it as judgement because of their own perspective or history.

I try to be discerning. Just like everything else, I fall short of my own expectations on a regular basis.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  May 12,2010, 9:51am
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Judging or discerning - those are just words. Whether someone feels the action attached to the word is good or bad will depend exclusively on whether they are happy with the outcome of that or not. It does not make one bit of difference which word you use.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  May 12,2010, 10:25am
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People judge all the time. We're built that way ... good thing, too. It's a major reason why our species is so successful.

It's only a problem when it's based on bad data (a skewed relationship history), or uses faulty logic (a skewed relationship history), or incorporates fantasy (a skewed relationship history).
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #6  May 12,2010, 11:44am
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I tend to be a tiny bit too accepting. I naturally see the good in people even when I discern the bad. Recently I have wondered if I should judge a little more in regards to finding a partner. Every time I decide not to judge I seem to get in a bad situation.

This may sound strange, but I have been pondering it lately.
 
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nunayabizness is offline nunayabizness Post #7  May 12,2010, 11:49am

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Being discerning is a good thing, and judging is a good thing.

However, there is a time and a place. If someone is constantly in "judging mode" and not in "enjoyment mode," little enjoyment will be had, at that person will be judged themselves, as an overbearing buzzkill.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #8  May 12,2010, 11:51am

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FruitaBu wrote :
IRecently I have wondered if I should judge a little more in regards to finding a partner..
Don't do that...we haven't gone out yet!!
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #9  May 12,2010, 2:57pm
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dogwood wrote :
I have judged others and have been judged. to me, judging has notes of anger, insecurity, lack of knowledge.
What dictionary are you using? Mine has several definitions of "judge" as a verb, and none mention anger or insecurity.

-to form a judgment or opinion of


-to infer, think, or hold as an opinion; conclude about or assess


-to make a careful guess about; estimate:

None of those sound negative to me.
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #10  May 12,2010, 3:12pm
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PY_2 wrote :
Don't do that...we haven't gone out yet!!

I said I was pondering...
 
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