had a great first date! now, a couple of questions...what about other guy, what about next step?


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readytodate is offline readytodate Post #1  May 12,2010, 6:13am
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I'm in such a good mood today! I had a great first date with a new guy last night. We planned it fairly last minute, so I barely had time to get nervous, and it was just perfect. We met for a drink after work, and before we knew it, it was midnight and the bar/restaurant was closing.

wondering if I should email or call today? and what about a second guy who wants to go out - should I still do that?
Last edited by readytodate; May 12,2010 at 5:53pm.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #2  May 12,2010, 6:21am
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Yay! spring has sprung.

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Do not contact his work e_mail unless he gives you permission.
I think you have done as much as you can here. Just relax and let him contact you now.
I know, it we be hard but you can do it.
 
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brixjnz is offline brixjnz Post #3  May 12,2010, 6:21am
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I don't know about sending the follow-up email. I'll leave that to a guy to answer. But go out with the 2nd guy! Don't pin your hopes on this guy, because even though you had a great 1st date you really don't know whether things will work out or even if it will lead to a 2nd date. Keep your options open for now so you're not focused on just one guy. That saves you from being too disappointed if things don't go quite how you want them to with Guy #1.
 
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readytodate is offline readytodate Post #4  May 12,2010, 6:35am
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okay, thanks for the advice!

I am fine with waiting. I think the only reason I am even considering contacting him is because there was a topic that came up at the end of the evening, about a situation with his ex that was very sad and I felt bad for him over it, and worried that perhaps he felt like he'd shared too much with me (as in, is she going to want to date someone with as screwed up of an ex as I have to deal with?!)

I felt like perhaps reassurance was needed so that he knows that I do indeed want to see him again.

But I can wait. If I haven't heard from him in a couple of days, I can revisit the option of contacting him. He has given me his cell phone number, so I could always call if sending to the work email isn't cool.
Last edited by readytodate; May 12,2010 at 6:46am.
 
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howardtheduck is offline howardtheduck Post #5  May 12,2010, 6:43am
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I would wait for him to initiate the next contact. Find out if he ever so slightly courageous. As far as the second guy, go out with him. There is no exclusive commitment after a first date. You need to keep your options open until such a time where exclusivity comes into play. Until then, you should enjoy meeting others and assessing your position. Also, sometimes relations start with a bang and fizzle out soon thereafter.
 
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readytodate is offline readytodate Post #6  May 12,2010, 7:13am
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howardtheduck wrote :
I would wait for him to initiate the next contact. Find out if he ever so slightly courageous. As far as the second guy, go out with him. There is no exclusive commitment after a first date. You need to keep your options open until such a time where exclusivity comes into play. Until then, you should enjoy meeting others and assessing your position. Also, sometimes relations start with a bang and fizzle out soon thereafter.
oh, we haven't had a bang. yet!!!!
 
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tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #7  May 12,2010, 7:19am
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I agree with waiting on sending the email. You told him you would like to go out. I also think you should continue to communicate with others. It helps to keep emotions under control if you have more than one option.
 
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readytodate is offline readytodate Post #8  May 12,2010, 8:27am
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I realized my question was breaking the rule I hear so much - the "he's just not that into you" thougth that if a guy wants to reach a girl, he WILL!!! sheesh! how did I forget that one so fast?

I will not be calling or emailing!
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #9  May 12,2010, 8:35am
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readytodate wrote :
I realized my question was breaking the rule I hear so much - the "he's just not that into you" thougth that if a guy wants to reach a girl, he WILL!!! sheesh! how did I forget that one so fast?

I will not be calling or emailing!
Good girl.
It happens, getting caught up in the excitment of meeting someone you click with. Common sense can be elusive.
But the last thing you want to do is come off as a potential stalker.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #10  May 12,2010, 9:01am
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That's so cool you had such a great date!

If this guy doesn't contact you back within a few days there is something seriously wrong with him. I think you'll hear from him.

PS If he gave you his work email it's ok to use it. Just remember work emails are not private.
 
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