Ladies, it is a date, not a job interview!


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nunayabizness is offline nunayabizness Post #1  May 11,2010, 3:48pm

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One thing I have noticed is a lot of women seem to act like the first couple dates are a job interview, where she asks a lot of probing questions in order to judge whether I am the right fit for her life.

When you do that, it is telling me something about you, and it is something that I do not like.

I am looking to get serious as much as most people. However, dates are supposed to be fun. They are not supposed to be an interrogation. I want to be your mate, not your employee.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  May 11,2010, 3:53pm
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How long do you want to wait until finding out if you're compatible?

I'd rather find out sooner than later.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  May 11,2010, 3:56pm
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guys do it too and i dont like it either. especially on a first date. i'm not laying out details of my life if i am not sure i like them. even worse when they like you, you dont like them and they are asking personal questions.
 
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dogwood is offline dogwood Post #4  May 11,2010, 4:01pm
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it is a good point that asking probing questions to someone you don't know seems kinda nosey.

i feel a bit violated when a match does it to me and worry about making the matches i have spoken to feel the same.

i am just not that comfortable with anyone that quickly.

takes some of the mystery and wonder out of a process that could be really rich in these things. i love mystery and wonder.
 
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nunayabizness is offline nunayabizness Post #5  May 11,2010, 4:06pm

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Yes, I suppose that men do it as well. When a person does that, it tells me that the person is not interested in enjoying my company and getting to know me as much as they are interested in merely getting what they want.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #6  May 11,2010, 4:31pm
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nunayabizness wrote :
When a person does that, it tells me that the person is not interested in enjoying my company and getting to know me as much as they are interested in merely getting what they want.
First dates usually involve getting to know someone through conversation. That involves both people in asking and responding to various questions as well as simply expanding on the conversation. I try to ask open-ended questions that aren't too personal, but I'm curious to know what others consider to be "probing."

Also, nunayabizness, can you explain what you mean when you say that you feel your dates are "interested in merely getting what they want"?
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #7  May 11,2010, 4:37pm
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Its a common complain of women by men on dates....I would rather hire her not date her.

The reason is she treats it like a job interview where she is trying to impress the man as if it were a job interview.
 
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FebruaryStars is offline FebruaryStars Post #8  May 11,2010, 4:40pm
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nunayabizness wrote :
I am looking to get serious as much as most people. However, dates are supposed to be fun. They are not supposed to be an interrogation. I want to be your mate, not your employee.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Where do you want to live? Do you see yourself married? With children? What personality qualities do you have to offer? What is your best quality and why? What is your worst quality and why? What qualities are you looking for in another person?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #9  May 11,2010, 4:52pm
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why wait to ask these questions in person? send them a questionnaire prior to meeting
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #10  May 11,2010, 5:08pm
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Man I hate that too! I'm all about finding out about my date, but man...let's laugh, tell a few jokes, enjoy our dinner. Let the questions come naturally.
 
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