Please Help...Asking Out Older Woman?


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Lakers4Life is offline Lakers4Life Post #1  May 10,2010, 5:03pm
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Hoping someone can help me out with this, since I really have no idea what to do and its been seriously messing with my head for the last month already.

I am a 23 yr old dude and have become friends with this amazing 29 year old girl over the last few months. We hang out a couple times a week and connect on a personal level. She BBMs me all day usually, and we can talk about anything pretty much. I go out with her and her friends a lot.

We're just friends I guess, but she's dropped hints about maybe wanting to be more than that (asked if I would meet her parents etc). My question is, should I ask her to be my girlfriend? I dont want to risk ruining the friendship if she says no, considering shes probably the coolest friend I have (male or female) and her friendship means the most to me. At the same time, I dont want her to lose interest because I was afraid to ask.

The age difference is also kind of tripping me out. If she was my age I wouldve asked her out already, for sure. But I cant tell if she just like me as a friend or what? I'm also friends with her best friend, should I ask her what the right move is?

Female insight here would be MUCH appreciated!! I honestly have no idea what to do and dont want to mess this situation up. Please help!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  May 10,2010, 5:06pm
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I suggest you ask someone out without regard to their age.

However, I do not favor asking "do you want to be my girlfriend." It is too soon for this (and it does sound immature.)

I favor a crisp, specific invitation to a date.

Personally, I think you should take that step first. Second step is to her to show return interest. Even then it might be too early to suggest exclusivity.
Last edited by D_Lion; May 10,2010 at 5:08pm.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #3  May 10,2010, 5:11pm
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Lakers4Life wrote :
My question is, should I ask her to be my girlfriend?
Dude, don't ask her to be your girlfriend. Just ask her out.
 
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howardtheduck is offline howardtheduck Post #4  May 10,2010, 5:15pm
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D_Lion wrote :
// edit
I favor a crisp, specific invitation to a date.
//end edit
Crisp invitation... Rather than a limp one?
I had no idea there were multiple forms of stumbling with asking a woman out. I just mumble, smile, and leave before I get an answer

This way,l I am never hurt or disappointed
 
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Lakers4Life is offline Lakers4Life Post #5  May 10,2010, 5:43pm
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Its weird though...we go to movies, clubs, restaurants etc already. All of the stuff we would do on dates, we pretty much already do. Minus anything sexual.

So I'd feel kinda awkward saying "we should go on a date" when we already do those things, if that makes sense.

I wouldn't say "do you want to be my girlfriend" either, that's even worse. Probably just something about how

Oh and the other thing is, whenver we go out I ALWAYS get looks from people who think we're dating. The thought has definitely crossed her mind...I just dont know if I should bring it up.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #6  May 10,2010, 5:46pm
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I think you should just try to kiss her
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  May 10,2010, 5:50pm
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Nanette wrote :
I think you should just try to kiss her

I'm glad to see you learning!
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #8  May 10,2010, 5:54pm
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it might be hazardous to his health, but i think at this point its the best way to find out if shes interested :)
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  May 10,2010, 5:57pm
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howardtheduck wrote :
Crisp invitation... Rather than a limp one?

"Would you like to, I dunno, maybe, hang out some time?" may be, I dunno, like, lame?
 
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curious_girl is offline curious_girl Post #10  May 10,2010, 6:22pm
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Nanette wrote :
I think you should just try to kiss her

Ditto.

But make sure it's not while you are at a club, or after. So she doesn't think alcohol played any part in your desire to kiss her.


If you don't want to go in for the kiss, then just look at her, and when she looks you in the eye, say "You are so beautiful." or "You take my breath away."

Is it cheesy? Sure. But it's romantic, and lots of girls like romantic. You did ask for the female perspective.



&& Just for DL I will throw in there that one of the reasons I prefer a man a little older than I is that he has learned how to be romantic. Romantic is good. (and does NOT have to be expensive; see above. And yes, I do romantic things for him as well )
 
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