THIS matters the most


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curious_girl is offline curious_girl Post #1  May 10,2010, 3:23pm
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looks catch the eye, personality captures the heart :)

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If you do not love yourself, you make it impossible for anyone else to love you.

NEVER change just to be what someone else wants you to be; odds are even if you succeed at making these changes, there will be another reason why they can't love you.

This is not to say don't try to improve yourself because I believe you should never stop trying to better yourself until your heart no longer beats.

But if you think you can't be loved because you believe men only date a size 8, or women only like tall men or any other idea that bases your worth on your physicality, then you are seeking the wrong mate to begin with.

Sure, attraction and chemistry is important. If there is no attraction they could be the greatest person on Earth and you still wouldn't be happy with them nor they with you. But tastes and preferences are as varied as body types. YOU CAN BE LOVED FOR WHO YOU ARE.

Until YOU believe this, you aren't going to be happy. Even if Gerard Butler or Jessica Alba themselves wants to date you. Your own mentality will sabotage you.

So work on what you see as your flaws, but don't define yourself by them. And don't allow them to cheat you of your happiness.

Fat people are loved. Short people are loved. Skinny people are loved. Tall people are loved.

Some find it easier to get dates because they have a more popular or accepted body type; this DOES NOT mean they find it easier to find love or to feel loved. Even beautiful people (or the widely accepted notion of beautiful) admit to self loathing and general sense of misery. They have to find the RIGHT person, and even then it sometimes falls apart.

All I ask is that you look at yourself, and see all the reasons why you ARE the right one for someone. See the negative, work on it, but don't dwell on it. Let it keep you from having an overinflated ego, don't let it keep you from having a healthy one.

That is all.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #2  May 10,2010, 4:26pm
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This is why we love you.
 
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dogwood is offline dogwood Post #3  May 10,2010, 4:51pm
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HAPPY HOLIDAYS :)

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curious_girl wrote :
If you do not love yourself, you make it impossible for anyone else to love you.

NEVER change just to be what someone else wants you to be; odds are even if you succeed at making these changes, there will be another reason why they can't love you.

This is not to say don't try to improve yourself because I believe you should never stop trying to better yourself until your heart no longer beats.

But if you think you can't be loved because you believe men only date a size 8, or women only like tall men or any other idea that bases your worth on your physicality, then you are seeking the wrong mate to begin with.

Sure, attraction and chemistry is important. If there is no attraction they could be the greatest person on Earth and you still wouldn't be happy with them nor they with you. But tastes and preferences are as varied as body types. YOU CAN BE LOVED FOR WHO YOU ARE.

Until YOU believe this, you aren't going to be happy. Even if Gerard Butler or Jessica Alba themselves wants to date you. Your own mentality will sabotage you.

So work on what you see as your flaws, but don't define yourself by them. And don't allow them to cheat you of your happiness.

Fat people are loved. Short people are loved. Skinny people are loved. Tall people are loved.

Some find it easier to get dates because they have a more popular or accepted body type; this DOES NOT mean they find it easier to find love or to feel loved. Even beautiful people (or the widely accepted notion of beautiful) admit to self loathing and general sense of misery. They have to find the RIGHT person, and even then it sometimes falls apart.

All I ask is that you look at yourself, and see all the reasons why you ARE the right one for someone. See the negative, work on it, but don't dwell on it. Let it keep you from having an overinflated ego, don't let it keep you from having a healthy one.

That is all.
good post! don't think i have anything to add.
 
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Wootz is offline Wootz Post #4  May 10,2010, 5:05pm
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wants to be half as good as grandad was.

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There is a wonderful, terrible, beautiful, scary, dangerous, and downright freeing sense to being responsible, and knowing the first person you must understand, before you can anyone else, is you.

Well said, curious_girl.

Well said.

Five stars for you!


*grin*
 
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tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #5  May 10,2010, 5:17pm
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loves a flirt

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Great post curious_girl!
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #6  May 10,2010, 5:35pm
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curious_girl wrote :
...YOU CAN BE LOVED FOR WHO YOU ARE.

Until YOU believe this, you aren't going to be happy....
AMEN!
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #7  May 10,2010, 5:46pm

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I agree with everything CG except for one little thing.

Sometimes, even when we don't love ourselves, there are people that still love us and care for us anyway, and wouldn't take advantage of us even if they could. It's just that usually when you are down on yourself you don't accept the love they give you anyway, as you only want the people you find you don't compare to, to approve of you.
 
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nhsunshine is offline nhsunshine Post #8  May 10,2010, 5:47pm
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Thank you so much for sharing this. Just the little reminder I needed not to lose faith
 
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curious_girl is offline curious_girl Post #9  May 10,2010, 5:58pm
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looks catch the eye, personality captures the heart :)

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cp30 wrote :
I agree with everything CG except for one little thing.

Sometimes, even when we don't love ourselves, there are people that still love us and care for us anyway, and wouldn't take advantage of us even if they could. It's just that usually when you are down on yourself you don't accept the love they give you anyway, as you only want the people you find you don't compare to, to approve of you.

Very true. But until a person loves themselves, they don't have the freedom to truly be themselves, if that makes any sense to you. And because they know they are trying to be someone else because of whatever reason they believe themselves unlovable, they don't feel loved. I don't know how to convey what I mean, but those who have been there, will get it.

But you are right; just because a person does not feel loved, does not mean they aren't.
 
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curious_girl is offline curious_girl Post #10  May 10,2010, 5:59pm
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looks catch the eye, personality captures the heart :)

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nhsunshine wrote :
Thank you so much for sharing this. Just the little reminder I needed not to lose faith



Thank you for sharing that with me.
 
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