Differences in profiles on different dating sites


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my5cents is offline my5cents Post #1  May 9,2010, 9:52pm
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There have been times where I have been on a few online dating sites and sometimes I run into the same matches. I think this actually happens quite frequently for most of us online daters. Typically it's nice to cross reference to see how they portray themselves on each site. What do you all do when you find discrepancies between what they say on each site? (Awhile ago I found out a match lied about everything, even the state he was in, that he had a child, etc.) So in that case I broached the subject. I'm talking about smaller discrepancies, but discrepancies nevertheless.

Do you broach this with your match, do you continue to communicate, or do you stop? I'm not saying one is better than the other, just wondering what a lot of you do.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #2  May 9,2010, 11:42pm
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Sometimes people never bother to update their profile on a site to reflect evolving information, they stop using that site without cancelling their profile on it and go to a new site filling out the details as they stand at that time, the profiles show discrepancies even though the person hasn't lied.

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove they don't deserve it.
 
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my5cents is offline my5cents Post #3  May 10,2010, 10:06am
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gothustartus wrote :
Sometimes people never bother to update their profile on a site to reflect evolving information, they stop using that site without cancelling their profile on it and go to a new site filling out the details as they stand at that time, the profiles show discrepancies even though the person hasn't lied.

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove they don't deserve it.
Great perspective, thank you. This person is an active user so I suppose they did not update some of their information. Right now I'll keep the information in mind but go forward and give this person the benefit of the doubt. Thank you gothustartus.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #4  May 10,2010, 10:16am
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I'm on a couple of dating sites and was browsing through one of them this weekend when, lo and behold, there was a profile and photos of someone I know and who is happily married.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #5  May 10,2010, 12:29pm
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my5cents wrote :
Do you broach this with your match, do you continue to communicate, or do you stop? I'm not saying one is better than the other, just wondering what a lot of you do.
First I would wonder how you know it's the same person.

Then I'd consider that many people don't update their profiles very much and could have moved or even had a child without updating. The person you think is married could have put up the profile while still single.

I would really wonder more about someone who is noticing all this stuff.
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #6  May 10,2010, 12:51pm
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Well, matches might move, so if one profile says Philadelphia, and the other profile says Tampa Bay, then either they are lying or they just haven't updated one or the other profile. Maybe one doesn't have a child listed and the other does. Could be that one profile was written before a child came into their life, or Lord forbid, the child is deceased. So, sometimes it's hard to judge.
 
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my5cents is offline my5cents Post #7  May 10,2010, 12:54pm
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mrflyer wrote :
First I would wonder how you know it's the same person.

Then I'd consider that many people don't update their profiles very much and could have moved or even had a child without updating. The person you think is married could have put up the profile while still single.

I would really wonder more about someone who is noticing all this stuff.
Oh mrflyer, you're so skeptical. I think we've gone through this before on another one of my threads and I can tell it's the same person because they have the same pictures up on both sites. This is also how I've known in the past because they use the exact same pictures.

As to the person who is noticing all this stuff, you can call her a smart cookie. The user in this case is active on both sites and has viewed my profile on both sites. It's kind of hard not to notice. Oh and mrflyer, when you are a woman (which I know you aren't) and have been duped then I think you take the approach of being more careful with future matches. There is nothing wrong with a little cross referencing and being careful who you're dealing with. Plus with some of my former matches they portrayed themselves to be quite conservative on one site and quite differently on another site. So, it's nice to be aware of this. You would think that if a person is pretty aware of who they are then they'll be a bit more consistent on different sites.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #8  May 10,2010, 1:59pm
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my5cents wrote :
Oh mrflyer, you're so skeptical. I think we've gone through this before on another one of my threads and I can tell it's the same person because they have the same pictures up on both sites. This is also how I've known in the past because they use the exact same pictures.
I could put Brad Pitt's photo on a profile, but that wouldn't prove we are the same person. All it would prove is that I can find his picture and upload it.

You make it sound like only women get duped.
 
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my5cents is offline my5cents Post #9  May 10,2010, 2:32pm
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mrflyer wrote :
I could put Brad Pitt's photo on a profile, but that wouldn't prove we are the same person. All it would prove is that I can find his picture and upload it.

You make it sound like only women get duped.
I suppose you are right with the pic thing, but I can tell you this isn't Brad Pitt.

Oh and I know men get duped too.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #10  May 10,2010, 2:51pm

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my5cents wrote :
There have been times where I have been on a few online dating sites and sometimes I run into the same matches. I think this actually happens quite frequently for most of us online daters. Typically it's nice to cross reference to see how they portray themselves on each site. What do you all do when you find discrepancies between what they say on each site? (Awhile ago I found out a match lied about everything, even the state he was in, that he had a child, etc.) So in that case I broached the subject. I'm talking about smaller discrepancies, but discrepancies nevertheless.

Do you broach this with your match, do you continue to communicate, or do you stop? I'm not saying one is better than the other, just wondering what a lot of you do.
I can imagine this scenario:

Man: I have a question
Woman: OK
Man: I noticed you have a different profile on a different site..and I was wonderi..
Woman: Wait, you're spying on me?
Man: No noo.I was just asking why you have a diffe...
Woman: Oh my goodness! You are stalking me!
Man: Wait, how come this is my issue now?
Woman: Issues? So now you're saying I have issues?!!
Man: No..I was just saying...
Woman: My goodness you've disagreed with me three times now...you're horrible!
Man: Eight pints of Long Island Tea sounds good right about now!
Woman: *hangs up phone*
 
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