What are your dating tests?


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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #21  May 10,2010, 1:07pm
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... is like a nice warm vibratey feeling all through your guttiwuts.

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OK, I'll fess up...

As a test, I drop Black Adder and Monty Python references into casual conversation with dates who say they're big fans of British comedy.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #22  May 10,2010, 1:12pm
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Tipitina wrote :
Your example reminds me of a story my mom told me about an incident that occurred when she and my dad were dating.

He was driving them somewhere, and they got into an argument. She was so angry she told him to stop the car because she wanted to get out.

He dutifully pulled over to the curb, but she just sat there, arms crossed. He said, "I thought you wanted to get out of the car."

"If you were a gentleman," she replied, "you'd open my door for me."

Being a gentleman, he got out of the car to open the door for her. As soon as he shut his own door, she locked it from inside, and then refused to unlock her own door.

A test? No, but it did show that my dad's a heck of a nice guy, and it's better to stay on the good side of a very smart woman.
What a cute little story lol. I agree with PY. Your dad appears a bit saintly. What were they arguing about though?
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #23  May 10,2010, 1:13pm
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dogwood wrote :
is it possible to make it impossible?
Yep, you'd just replace a blue sticker with an extra green one. Voila. Insolvable.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #24  May 10,2010, 1:16pm
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I think upon reflection that any arranged tests had better be really super smart and not paint you in a negative light. I see lots of holes in the arranged tests in the article where a person could perceive something really negative about you and then not really want to date you even though they might be everything you wanted.

A person with good self esteem and a backbone, as well as social adeptness wants a like mind, and if they date like I do, they are sitting there looking at your behavior flirting with a waitress, wearing rumpled dirty clothing, smelling like the gym with seemingly no wallet or driver's license in the back pocket and thinking wow he was cute but I really don't think I'm interested in teaching this 40 some odd year old man the obvious.
Last edited by nightling; May 10,2010 at 3:27pm.
 
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Glimflicker is offline Glimflicker Post #25  May 10,2010, 1:16pm
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dogwood wrote :
is it possible to make it impossible?
Yes, and I've seen this used to many hilarious and devious ends: Fringineering: The Rubik’s Cube Trap neoSprockets

On topic, I think that everyone has informal tests or criteria they look for in a date. The OP was talking about preconceived tests, and I personally think that it's not cool to prepare tests or scenarios for your dates beforehand.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #26  May 10,2010, 1:25pm
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DancingFool wrote :
However most real tests happen inadvertently. For instance, when he says that he loves outdoors and hiking and does it all the time, but an hour into a hike he supposedly does all the time, he is purple faced and wheezing from exhaustion.
That would not be a test but an observation- not necessarily an accurate one, since saying you like hiking says nothing about your endurance at it.

Tests are done on purpose.
 
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Wootz is offline Wootz Post #27  May 10,2010, 1:40pm
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nightling wrote :
I think upon reflection that any arranged tests had better be really super smart and not paint you in a negative light. I see lots of holes in the arranged tests in the article where a person could perceive something really negative about you and then not really want to date you even though they might be everything you wanted.

A person with good self esteem and a backbone, as well as social adeptness wants a like mind, and if they date like I do, they are sitting there looking at your behavior flirting with a waitress, wearing rumpled dirty clothing, smelling like the gym with seemingly no wallet or driver's license in his back pocket and thinking wow he was cute but I really don't think I'm interested in teaching this 40 some odd year old man the obvious.
Test 1: Is she female?

. . . Looks like it. She probably goes to the women's restroom. No adam's apple. Works for me. I give her a pass.

Test 2: Is she breathing?

. . . Chest goes up and down. Slight breeze ripples the surface of her drink. Good enough.

. . . On second thought, watching for test two is kinda nice. . .

Test 3: Does she have a pulse?

. . . Not going to stab her with a fork, that tends to cut down on the chances of a second date. Ah! Hold her hand on the way to the car. Bonus. She has a pulse.

Test 4: Interesting?

. . . This requires more in-depth research than test two. Really. Promise.

Test 5: Flirting with me (i.e. is she interested)?

. . . This one is tougher to resolve. Especially for some guys like me who are seemingly unable to decode the signals. Maybe she has something in her eye. Maybe she keeps dropping forks because they're really slippery. Maybe that side of her body just has poor circulation and gets cold really easily.

It could happen.

5/5 scores a request for another date. *grin* New tests to administer then, such as...

Does she dig sci-fi? Can she quote any famous comic strips? Can she waltz? If not, can she tango?

Answers to these tests are not always on a pass/fail basis. Test administrators are warned against helping out the test taker with hints, as this might lead to a relationship. Further testing apparatus available. . .
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #28  May 10,2010, 1:41pm
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mrflyer wrote :
That would not be a test but an observation- not necessarily an accurate one, since saying you like hiking says nothing about your endurance at it.

Tests are done on purpose.
When someone claims to be doing something like hiking all the time, it's kind of impossible not to become sufficiently fit for the task. The inadvertent test is when you take the person up on their word and do the activity they claim to participate in all the time and catch them in a lie. I like hiking in theory is not the same as I do it all the time.

I guess it really boils down to initial intent. Do you go hiking with him to test his claims of his hiking activities or do you go hiking with him because you both enjoy it and then find out that he is not being truthful.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #29  May 10,2010, 2:02pm
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Yes, I'm talking about concocted scenarios you come up with to test the date to see if you want to keep dating them. Not things that come up naturally and fall under the realm of observation.

The problem I see with most of the suggested scenarios is there are holes in all of them. Even the original scenario that started this, the door test. Aside from the newer car issues, I just can't see any real reason a person would lock their driver's side door just to go up to my door and right back out to the car again. I wouldn't open the driver's door for them in that case bc I'd think it would already be open — as it would be if you weren't concocting a test.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #30  May 10,2010, 2:16pm
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insertscreenname wrote :
OK, I'll fess up...

As a test, I drop Black Adder and Monty Python references into casual conversation with dates who say they're big fans of British comedy.

What if I prefer Benny Hill?
 
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