tinything is offline tinything Post #1  May 9,2010, 9:46am
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I have matched with a doctor, we communicate through email.text and one time on phone for almost one month. He is somewhow a caring person, cause he will ask me how am i doing, how was my party last night? But all I got messenge from him is that how busy he is. Is he sending some messenge to me??? or he is really buy......
We haven't set up a day to meet in person.
any opinion??
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  May 9,2010, 9:52am
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In my experience, a truely busy person will communicate their schedule truthfully, and select modes of communication which maximize the liklihood of reaching each other. (In my case, that was my office e-mail, which I got the fastest.)

One month until meeting, due only to business (as distinct from screening) is longer than I'm used to, but not out of line. Especially, if you consider that he might only meet Fri / Sat (like me.)

I suggest you pick a date, and stick to it.

(One fear that comes up a lot, is that "busy" is a lie a cheater uses.) If that fear is valid, then picking the date yourself, and holding to it, is one means of reducing this risk.
 
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Sparkenwolf is offline Sparkenwolf Post #3  May 9,2010, 9:56am
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Is he a new doc or relatively established?? I know interns work long hours and get few breaks. Would be best if he could send you his schedule and y'all work from there.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  May 9,2010, 10:08am
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Sparkenwolf wrote :
Is he a new doc or relatively established?? I know interns work long hours and get few breaks. Would be best if he could send you his schedule and y'all work from there.
I wish that the OP had something in her profile to give us a clue to age, location and other information that may be useful in answering her questions.

While doctors that are still in their intern and working on their specialty work very long hours with very little time off many very well established doctors in private practice have very little clue that a world outside of their practice exists.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  May 9,2010, 10:09am
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Would you feel ok making the first move to meet? You could either just ask him to meet, or say something like "I'd like us to meet in person ... when's a good time for you?"

If you don't feel ok doing something like that, you just have to wait for him to make a move. In the meantime, don't stop talking to other guys. Good luck!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  May 9,2010, 10:11am
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tinything wrote :
I have matched with a doctor, we communicate through email.text and one time on phone for almost one month. He is somehow a caring person, cause he will ask me how am i doing, how was my party last night? But all I got message from him is that how busy he is. Is he sending some message to me??? or he is really buy......
We haven't set up a day to meet in person.
any opinion??
There are two ways to look at this.

1. If you are interested in meeting someone then you MAKE time to meet them.

2. If he is too busy to give you the attention that you want then he is not a good match for you.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  May 9,2010, 10:39am
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Sparkenwolf wrote :
Would be best if he could send you his schedule and y'all work from there.

Exactly what I would do.

I'm a big proponent of this advice.
 
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ravitaekwondo is offline ravitaekwondo Post #8  May 9,2010, 10:51am
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My advice is to try to be patient, but also stand firm in a gentle way and communicate your needs and wants. Doctors are really busy people.

Heck, I should now, my own sister is a doctor, has a brutal call schedule, and we barely have time to talk or get together!!!
 
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richey is offline richey Post #9  May 9,2010, 1:36pm
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People need to realize that not all jobs ~ have a nice neat little schedule. I am going through this right now. I must look like the biggest poofer because I am not able to keep a date, not always able to adhere to my agreed follow-up communication, etc. But it's not because I'm not interested or a poofer.

It truly is my job. There are things that come up all the time at my job and my schedule is very unpredictable. I often work 6 times a week + O.T. to boot. Depending on what goes on i might work a regular hours, or work 2-midnight.

So realize first of all, that not everything in the world has a neat schedule that fits. Even if he does have a schedule (as I have a schedule), doens't mean when the week is done that ended up being your schedule.

Now as for my situation.. although i did keep in communication. If you guys were to hear her side of my communications ~ you would assume i was a liar, brushing her off, and not interested. (We had a date, I had to cancel. Agreed to talk again on a Saturday.. i had to push it off again cuz i had a new proejct dumped on me... agreed to speak again on Tuesday... but somethign came up and work was crazy so i lost track of time, etc.)

So... don't jumpt to conclusions. My advice here is ~ ask him when his next free night is b/c yo'ud like to take him out for coffee, or dessert, and give him a break from work. Then when he gives it to you ~ make a date for that night and timeframe.

Then.. sit back and watch his reaction. His reaction will tell you all you need to know as to what's going on here. (Does it energize him? Does he thnk it's sweet and agree? Or is he continuing to be deflective, distant, and unspecific and continue to come up with blockades and reasons that he can't see you?)

Richey
 
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howardtheduck is offline howardtheduck Post #10  May 9,2010, 4:11pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
There are two ways to look at this.

1. If you are interested in meeting someone then you MAKE time to meet them.

2. If he is too busy to give you the attention that you want then he is not a good match for you.

What he said...
 
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