How long before sending a confirmation text?


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Dasil is offline Dasil Post #1  May 8,2010, 9:13pm
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Hi again,

I met a girl recently and we started talking, and I ended up getting her number. We texted a couple of times and tried to set something up but she ended up being to busy to go out for a while. That was a few months ago, and I've decided to try to set something up again. She prefers texting over calling (something I found up the first time we tried to set something up), so I sent her a message saying something about how I'd like to get to know her better and how I'd like to take her out sometime if she's open to it.

I sent that message yesterday, but haven't received a response yet. I know there's a lot of things that can go wrong with texting (her plan might not let her receive the message after a certain time, or not on weekends, the message could have been lost, she might not have checked her phone,...), so how long should I wait before sending her a text to see if she got my last message?

When we've texted in the past, it did take her a while to respond, so I don't think she's ignoring me, and I don't think she's the kind of person who would ignore the text. She would respond, even if she wasn't interested in getting together, just to let me know. This is slightly related: but when she's texted me before and I didn't get her message that day, she sent a follow-up text the next day.

I would send one tomorrow, but I don't want to interrupt whatever she's doing on Mother's Day.

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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  May 8,2010, 11:52pm
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I think she isn't interested. A few months and she couldn't find time for a date? If she really liked you she would have found time. Sorry, just how it sounds from what you posted.

Don't make excuses for her, as well. I'd leave her alone and let her start the next set of messages. But, don't hold your breath.
 
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Dasil is offline Dasil Post #3  May 9,2010, 12:00am
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We didn't try to set anything up in those months, though. The first time we tried to set something up in the next week or so, but after that some things came up for me and I didn't try to contact her again until now.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  May 9,2010, 6:00am
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Personally, I would cease any effort directed at this person.

If you are trying to invite someout out, and they can't even be bothered to communicate in a civilized manner, then I'd say this situation is unlikely work out well for you.

A person who does not accept an invitation eagerly, but does so at a later date, probably doesn't want you, anyway.

Also, I would call.
 
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Alli824 is online now Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  May 9,2010, 6:16am
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A phone call is the appropriate way to ask someone out - invitations by text are bad form.. ditto canceling a date in this manner. If you pick up the phone you'll find out all you need to know.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  May 9,2010, 6:16am
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First, if you are interested in going out with someone you MAKE time to meet them.

Second if you were not communicating with her for a "few" months she has forgotten who you are.

Third, preferring to set up a date via text is a red flag to me. There is something very wrong with this situation.

Time to move on to a girl that is interested in being with you.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #7  May 9,2010, 6:20am
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Dasil wrote :
She prefers texting over calling (something I found up the first time we tried to set something up), so I sent her a message saying something about how I'd like to get to know her better and how I'd like to take her out sometime if she's open to it.
Here's my rule of thumb:
Anyone who tells me that texting is their preferred method of communication, is also telling me they want as little human connection involved, as possible...
It's so she can ignore you....which evidentally, she has done.
Time to move on.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #8  May 9,2010, 8:37am
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I think texting is fine... I prefer email during the intial stages of communication, and I love human connection, but would like to make sure you are someone I want to "connect" with first.

But, to me, it just sounds like she is not interested. As someone once told me, don't make someone a priority who is only making you an option. Don't spend too much time thinking about someone who is obviously not taking the time to think or even the decency to respond to you.

You've sent the text, she got it. I would leave it at that.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #9  May 9,2010, 12:52pm
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Dasil wrote :
I met a girl recently and we started talking, and I ended up getting her number. We texted a couple of times and tried to set something up but she ended up being to busy to go out for a while. That was a few months ago, and I've decided to try to set something up again. She prefers texting over calling (something I found up the first time we tried to set something up), so I sent her a message saying something about how I'd like to get to know her better and how I'd like to take her out sometime if she's open to it.
Regardless of what she prefers, you should call to ask for dates. That way you know what was agreed to. If she has a problem with you calling for that purpose, don't date her.

Also "take her out sometime" is wimpy and vague. Ask for a specific day/time and place.
 
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