Kissing for the first time and questions!


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newtodating1 is offline newtodating1 Post #1  May 8,2010, 4:50pm
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Hi, I'm in my late 20's but have never really dated because of depression and shyness. I recently met someone off Eharmony for the first time and like him so far. We had our first date, and though it was awkward at times, we had a lot of good conversation and a good bit in common.

But tomorrow we're meeting up for the second time, and I'm nervous again. Mostly I'm worried about the physical aspects of dating. At the end of the first date, I was thinking I'd just give him a hug, but we ended up with our faces close together, and we had a quick peck of a kiss (I'd never even kissed anyone before!).

So now I'm nervous about this next date and how to end it (although it hasn't even started yet!). I don't know how to kiss and feel very awkward about it. I've hinted to this guy that I haven't dated much, but not really let him know all this, and maybe I shouldn't. But then again, I don't want to be a horrible kisser because it's my first time, and have him think I'm just a horrible kisser!

I do like him, but this is a big change for me...I'm not sure how to handle this, and the whole dating situation. But I guess my question just has to do with the kissing- what do I do? Should I just tell him somehow that I like to move slowly, and avoid the physical part altogether? Or tell him I've never kissed anyone, or...what?

Thanks.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  May 8,2010, 4:54pm
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Is this a person you want to Kiss?

If yes, I suggest just enjoying yourself. If no, then you should end things now.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #3  May 8,2010, 4:55pm
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To me... kissing is all about feeling your partner, their movements, what they want... close your eyes and just go with the rhythm of his body... and his mouth. It's okay to let him take the lead. For the first time, it's more about just relaxing and remember to breathe and not suffocate him or yourself.

Slow movements are normally always best.

If you need a quick tip on kissing, watch the movie "John Tucker Must Die" it's a very cute movie with a good kissing lesson scene .
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #4  May 8,2010, 4:59pm
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oh, almost forgot... your hands are as important as your mouth.

as he's kissing you, lightly stroke your hand along his back, his neck, his hair, his shoulders... but, be careful, you won't want to turn him on too much ... but, it's a sign that you're extremely interested and in to him.
 
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newtodating1 is offline newtodating1 Post #5  May 8,2010, 5:01pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Is this a person you want to Kiss?

If yes, I suggest just enjoying yourself. If no, then you should end things now.
I don't know for sure- I've only met him once-- but I think in general yes. I like him and generally like how he looks...but seeing as I've never really kissed anyone, the urge to kiss people is not generally there with me much!
 
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tiara2161 is offline tiara2161 Post #6  May 8,2010, 5:03pm
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Hi,
you need to step up to the plate. You are in your late 20s I see from your profile, so you need to make a decision here. If you don't face this fear now, you might never get over it. I promise you it will be okay. Honestly, he probably won't even be able to tell. I will share with you when I was 22 I started dating a guy (he was 25) that turned into a 5 year relationship. He took things very slow, it was at least 4 months before our first kiss (I got mad and didn't even know if he liked me), longer before we were intimate. I found out after a year that I was the very first kiss/everything for him, and I never even knew. I could not tell in the least that he was inexperienced. I also want to share with you that I shared an office with a guy who was very very shy. We were best friends from about 22 - 25, during which time he never got over his fear, and now he is 36 and still has never had an intimate relationship. Don't end up like that!!! Everyone is scared and nervous. My last relationship was with a guy who waited 3 months to be intimate and later confessed to being too scared, but I swear he was fine. Just DO IT!!! He will not notice anything. Trust me there are LOTS of people that are bad kissers at your age and at mine, and they don't even have the excuse that they haven't done it. If someone is really into you, it will be good no matter what!!
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #7  May 8,2010, 5:05pm
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tiara2161 wrote :
Trust me there are LOTS of people that are bad kissers at your age and at mine, and they don't even have the excuse that they haven't done it. If someone is really into you, it will be good no matter what!!
Yes, read the "bad kissers" thread (don't know how to link), it has lots of good advice of what not to do... tongue up the nose is a no, no!
 
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newtodating1 is offline newtodating1 Post #8  May 8,2010, 5:05pm
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jussmile wrote :
To me... kissing is all about feeling your partner, their movements, what they want... close your eyes and just go with the rhythm of his body... and his mouth. It's okay to let him take the lead. For the first time, it's more about just relaxing and remember to breathe and not suffocate him or yourself.

Slow movements are normally always best.

If you need a quick tip on kissing, watch the movie "John Tucker Must Die" it's a very cute movie with a good kissing lesson scene .
Thanks...I guess I just don't know what I would do with my tongue? (I know this sounds stupid since most people get over this as 12-year-olds or something!). I'm just not sure about this- I guess I have "issues"-- I was also very religious for a while as a teenager (and probably would have become a nun if I were Catholic, but I wasn't!). But at some point, I have to get over it, I guess!
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #9  May 8,2010, 5:09pm
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newtodating1 wrote :
Thanks...I guess I just don't know what I would do with my tongue? (I know this sounds stupid since most people get over this as 12-year-olds or something!). I'm just not sure about this- I guess I have "issues"-- I was also very religious for a while as a teenager (and probably would have become a nun if I were Catholic, but I wasn't!). But at some point, I have to get over it, I guess!
for your first couple of kisses... don't worry about your tongue. You can keep it in your mouth until you feel comfortable using it. Once you get comfortable, then you can lightly, gently touch the tip of your tongue on his lips, on his tongue... gentle is the key. Don't shove! Please... don't think that the purpose is to see how far down it can go... please... remember, slow, light, gentle movements from you are going to be a total turn on!

but again, it's okay to let him lead the first time. lots of guys even like this. you can show your interest with your hands, rather than your tongue. just rub him in the places I mentioned while you're kissing him, and it's okay if you don't use your tongue.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  May 8,2010, 5:10pm
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newtodating1 wrote :
I don't know for sure- I've only met him once-- but I think in general yes. I like him and generally like how he looks...but seeing as I've never really kissed anyone, the urge to kiss people is not generally there with me much!

I agree with the above posts from Jussmile.

I think you should focus on enjoying yourself. If something happens that you like, let it continue; ask for more if necesswary. If something happens you do not like, then cease, or ask him to stop.

Keep in mind, that after one time, you now have experience. Everything beyond that is just a matter of degree.
 
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