Want to date a single mom?? Read this!


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Irishlass68 is offline Irishlass68 Post #1  May 7,2010, 7:53pm
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By Alaina Sheer of SingleEdition.com for SingleParentMeet.com
For many men dating a single mom is like navigating a busy street in a foreign country. All of their tried and tested dating rules suddenly don't apply and the beautiful single mom before them is as mysterious as the Egyptian Sphinx. If you have fallen for a single mom or are dating a single mom use these tips to make sense of that fascinating mind of hers.
Be Patient
Single mothers are often torn between their two identities – that of a loving and attentive mother and that of a single woman. The two naturally conflict with each other. If you're dating a seasoned single mother you may find she is a lot easier on herself about dating you, and allowing herself appropriate time to spend with you. But women new to single motherhood may still be learning how to balance their new dating life with their job as a full-time single mom. Be patient while she adjusts and when she expresses her emotions or feelings about dating as a mother the best thing you can do is listen. Never take it personally unless she is clearly saying or doing things to hurt or upset you.
The Ex Factor
One of the most troubling hurdles for men to overcome when dating a single mom is the fact that the ex-husband or boyfriend may still be around, caring for his children. Trust me when I say, you have no reason to be jealous or worried about any kind of relationship developing if you are dating a seasoned single mom. If you are with a very recently single mother she may still have feelings for her ex, after all, they did have a child together. Be careful and watch for signs that she really isn't over him but make sure you communicate any concerns you have with her directly. Chances are you're probably just being paranoid. And chances are also that she will understand. Dating someone when an ex is still in the picture, even moreso when it is her child's father, can be a bit awkward at first.
Don't Even Bother With the Games
Guess what? Single moms have much, much more to worry about than when you're going to call next. Her hands are full as it is so throw the games out the window. Playing them can back fire dramatically when she decides you're more trouble than you're worth. I actually called it off with a guy who I was fairly certain liked me but he kept playing hard to get and would wait an hour or two to return my text messages or phone calls. I liked being with him as well and there could have been something there, but I just couldn't deal with the manipulation of my valuable time. Above all else, dating single moms appreciate your honesty.
Your Actions Speak Volumes
Before I had children, a man's choice of restaurant for a date would turn me on. But now it's the sight of a man taking my garbage out that does the trick. Seriously. Help her out around the house, even if it's late at night when you're dropping her off after a date. Little things like that will earn you major, major brownie points. Don't just say you care, prove it by stepping up and helping out around the house and in her life.
We Don't Need a Rescue
Many men are scared to date single moms because they imagine she will be clingy and want to settle down immediately. This is a myth. In reality, most men find dating single moms to be entirely refreshing because the single moms typically have no interest whatsoever in settling down with a man until they get to know him. And as far as wanting to be rescued... perhaps some of us feel that way, but most of us single moms are just fine with our man-free lives. In fact, your biggest challenge may be proving your worth!
I found this article on singleparentmeet.com. I feel like it hits the nail right on the head and I wanted to share it. Discuss!!!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  May 7,2010, 8:00pm
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Irishlass68 wrote :
But now it's the sight of a man taking my garbage out that does the trick.

Muscle atrophy comes with having children?
 
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tammpoet72 is offline tammpoet72 Post #3  May 7,2010, 8:17pm
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Thanks so much for posting this, it did hit the nail on the head. I am one of those seasoned single moms & can realted to everything here. reading this makes me feel like my situation is not a liability but an asset. I'm 37 with two toddlers, thier father basically abandoned us & is not in their lives. It the space in my heart that can only be filled by the love of a man that needs rescuing, not my whole life.
 
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oceanlady is offline oceanlady Post #4  May 7,2010, 8:22pm
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This article does hit the nail on the head, especially the part about not wanting to hurry up and settle down and the part about not wasting my time on guys that play games. I am enjoying my "man-free" life and it's true--any guy who gets a share of my valuable time will have to prove his worth. I like the idea of a guy helping out, too, but a guy should definitely wait awhile before coming in after a date just to take out the garbage!
 
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charmed59 is online now charmed59 Post #5  May 7,2010, 8:24pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Muscle atrophy comes with having children?
One of the most frustrating things about adjusting after the death of my husband were those chores around the house that he did, because I either couldn't reach whatever it was, or couldn't lift whatever it was.
 
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Irishlass68 is offline Irishlass68 Post #6  May 7,2010, 8:27pm
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I'd have to say that a man that would be willing to help me out with things around the house would SO make my day. I am so used to it being all me all the time OR paying someone to do it.
Amen to the part about games. I don't have a whole lot of spare time on my hands and I don't like having the time I do have wasted.
I loved the part about not needing a rescue. I cannot tell you how often I get hit up by men who are much older and richer than me thinking I need a sugar daddy,father figure or whatever.
I want a man to be around because I Want him there and not because I Need him there.
 
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curious_girl is offline curious_girl Post #7  May 7,2010, 8:29pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Muscle atrophy comes with having children?

DL,

It's not that we single mom's can't take out the trash, it's that we appreciate the simple things like a man taking out the trash, more than him picking the right restaurant. It's fairly simple to pick a place to take a woman to dinner, but it's a special man that's going to do something helpful for no other reason than that it is helpful.


And I, too, think this article is right on. I don't tolerate game playing. I KNOW that I am strong enough, smart enough, capable enough to lead a successful and happy life without a man. I don't need rescuing. I think a lot more men should read this article, because the perception of single mom's has not changed in decades.
 
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Lostintranslation is offline Lostintranslation Post #8  May 7,2010, 8:32pm
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What's the sexiest thing a man can say to a woman?

'Don't worry, I'll take care of it.'

As has been mentioned above: I don't need you to take care of it - it just shows a level of acceptance, caring and attentiveness that makes me feel pampered and cared for. This isn't a complicated action - it can be quite simple.
Last edited by Lostintranslation; May 7,2010 at 8:36pm.
 
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TinkerKat is offline TinkerKat Post #9  May 7,2010, 8:43pm
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I like this article. I would add: Please don't be offended if I not only own power tools, but know how to use them. (My best guy friend says this is one of my best qualities.)
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  May 7,2010, 8:56pm
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Irishlass68 wrote :
I'd have to say that a man that would be willing to help me out with things around the house would SO make my day.

I loved the part about not needing a rescue.

I'm completely confused about this?
 
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