How do Ladies feel about compliments about her physical appearance on a dating site?


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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #1  May 7,2010, 6:42pm
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gummibearlover wrote :
I am a 40 y/o beautiful woman and i was once a 20 something--i dont think its that different--I would keep the first message short-- if she looks at your profile pics and info and is interested and responds to your message--you can sell yourself in detail in the second message to her. I would initially include a classy compliment about her physical appearance and also compliment something else you liked about her profile. and then say If you are interested i would be happy to tell you more. If she writes you first then you know she has at least a bit of interest and you can give more detail. A beautiful woman who is together gets tons of responses and be patient--she may only do so many a day--good luck

Now, I have always used a practice of never making an appearance-based comment in an early e-mail.

Am I right, or am I messed up and clueless?
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #2  May 7,2010, 6:46pm
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You are correct.

It is very difficult to devise a compliment about physical appearance in a first contact that doesn't sound insincere or obsequious (or possibly desperate).
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  May 7,2010, 6:51pm
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youre correct (for once)

but really, it kinda irks me when people call themselves "verey beautiful" too so i have to wonder where the values are there
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  May 7,2010, 6:53pm
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i iz very beautiful, so if you feel the need to make a klassy comment concerning my hawtness, please feel free to do so. thank you, and have a pleasant evening
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  May 7,2010, 6:58pm
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Notice how Yonder Nanette is so overcome by my post, that Fine things, such as Punctuation and CaPitAl lEttErs, are skipped?

Why is this?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #6  May 7,2010, 7:12pm
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to make up for your excessive capitalizations *smooches*
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #7  May 7,2010, 7:12pm
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i didnt give you that one star but can i get the credits for it?
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  May 7,2010, 7:12pm
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I agree that comments about someone's physical attributes should be left out of a first e-mail. When I receive an e-mail making comments about my looks it casts a dark cloud on the whole e-mail. Save "you look beautiful" for in person.
 
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Work_in_Progress is offline Work_in_Progress Post #9  May 7,2010, 7:14pm
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You are correct.

What I like to read in an initial contact e-mail is something that makes it evident that he's actually read my profile and sees some potential compatibility between us.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #10  May 7,2010, 7:26pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Now, I have always used a practice of never making an appearance-based comment in an early e-mail.

Am I right, or am I messed up and clueless?
I'd say you were right, but in a minority. It seems that most responses refer to my appearance first ("I like your smile" "You're cute").

I don't dislike these comments--compliments are rare these days--but they are not what I would prefer. As work_in_progress said, I want to see that they have actually read my profile and found something of mutual interest.
 
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