Text from an Ex out of the blue?


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mountain_mama is offline mountain_mama Post #1  May 5,2010, 6:19pm
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An ex boyfriend randomly texted me this week to say he was thinking of me...

When we broke up (well over a year ago) it was pretty ugly, and I was really hurt. I didn't hear from him or engage in any from of communication with him for probably 7 or 8 months. Then one day, he texted me to say he had met a friend of mine...I thought it was strange, but I responded and we spent a few hours exchanging text messages. That was easily 6 months ago, if not longer...

Thus, I was pretty surprised to receive a text from him now, all these months later. I probably should have ignored him, but I was interested to see what he wanted and why he said hello out of the blue. During the course of 2 hours of texting, he flirted with me shamelessly and made comments about being too far away from him now... since breaking up, I have moved and live about 5 hours away.

I take all that he has to say with a grain of salt, but I also don't really know what I should do...ignore him, call his bluff, or tell him to buzz off? And, I really don't understand his need to say hi and bother with chatting me up all this time later?

If I am honest with myself, I can say I still have feelings for him...but at the same time, he really hurt me and I don't want to go down that road again. When he texts me, it just confuses my will power and I don't like it. Yet, like a fool, I respond him...

So, I guess I just wonder if there is a reason for his randomness and what I should do in the future if it happens again? Thanks!
 
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howardtheduck is offline howardtheduck Post #2  May 5,2010, 6:29pm
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Ignore it and hope he goes away.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  May 5,2010, 6:32pm
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I'd say the reason is he is lonely, or pining for you.

If this person was hurtful, I would not continue. Tell him not to commuicate - and enforce this.

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If you like him - and have reason to think some change has occured which make a relationship better-advised where one has failed before, then perhaps a different strategy is called for.
 
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FebruaryStars is offline FebruaryStars Post #4  May 5,2010, 6:34pm
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It is easy to forget over time, ALL of the bad things about an ex. It is also easy to reach out to what is familiar to you. However, off hand it sounds like a bad idea to start communicating with him again, especially since he hurt you. People rarely change, so it is unlikely in a year that he has changed.

I understand how you are feeling though. In the past, I have always given people second chances, only to be let down yet again. So now, I don't give second chances.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #5  May 5,2010, 6:42pm
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I don't give second chances. He left you once? He'll leave you again. People who aren't willing to make it work the first time around don't get a second chance to screw it up. Block his calls if you can, 'cause he's wasting your time, and messing with your emotions.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #6  May 5,2010, 7:42pm
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If I were you, I'd respond to one more text if he initiates again and be nice-almost-playful and ask him why he contacted you after so long.

See how he responds. If it's just aimless flirting from an ex-, or sexy late-night texts, I'd wish him the best but explain that I'm not interested.

Good luck!
 
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alittledistraction is offline alittledistraction Post #7  May 5,2010, 10:25pm
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I've had this happen muliple times, and I'm always told by others its cuz the guy is horny or lonely. Most guys have stopped after I've given them a lackluster response or no response back, but one ex still texts me outta the blue every once in awhile. I have no idea why he still does it, and when I ask he just says the same thing that your guy did, that he was thinking of me. We have mutual friends, and I'm not the type of person to say piss off, so I've just gotten used to it. It used to stir up all sorts of emotions, but now I've moved on and try to look at it as flattering. I wouldn't dare go there with him again, but I guess in some strange way he still cares? lol
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  May 6,2010, 6:40am
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He broke up with you and it was not amicable. You are not friends.

Just ignore him and block him if you can.
 
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Jesisi is offline Jesisi Post #9  May 6,2010, 1:23pm
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Like someone mentioned already, we tend to forget the bad things that led to a separation or breakup... chances are they are still there. If he were in a relationship with someone he liked he would not contact you, if he is with someone he does not enjoy and misses some things about you, it may explain why he is texting... and if he is alone, then, duh!!

Ignore him, change your number if you can't block him, move on...
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #10  May 7,2010, 1:29am
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It may stroke his ego to get you responding even after all that time and the bad breakup, probably he's been blanked by a date or sidelined in some way, so to prove to himself that he's still got it he drops you a line and flirts until he has re convinced himself that he is God and whoever blanked him must be a lesbian.
 
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