feel so anxious and nervous before first date - tips?


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itsanewworld is offline itsanewworld Post #1  May 5,2010, 10:21am
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the first date is on friday night. the first one since I became single. I'm getting more and more nervous. does anyone have specific tips on what to do to stay calm and make a good first impression? I looked for articles here, but real people advice usually helps me more than articles.

I'm thinking if I paste a big smile on as I walk into the room, that will help me not show him just how nervous I am. but I don't want to look fake either. any tips?

thanks. I think I'm going to go throw up now.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  May 5,2010, 10:26am
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itsanewworld wrote :
the first date is on friday night. the first one since I became single. I'm getting more and more nervous. does anyone have specific tips on what to do to stay calm and make a good first impression? I looked for articles here, but real people advice usually helps me more than articles.

I'm thinking if I paste a big smile on as I walk into the room, that will help me not show him just how nervous I am. but I don't want to look fake either. any tips?

thanks. I think I'm going to go throw up now.
Just be yourself.
Don't think you have to impress anyone. he's probably more nervous than you.
Ask him questions, and let him talk...
have fun, you'll do fine.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #3  May 5,2010, 10:31am

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itsanewworld wrote :
I think I'm going to go throw up now.
Imagine how bad it will be once you actually see him and find out he's 10 years older, six inches shorter, and fifty pounds heavier than described!
 
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itsanewworld is offline itsanewworld Post #4  May 5,2010, 10:37am
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oh god, thanks for really scaring me!!!!
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  May 5,2010, 10:59am
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Probably he'll be nervous too ... it's ok, people get nervous. It's not a character flaw!

Is it possible some of what you're experiencing as "nervousness" could be "excitement"? The 2 can feel very similar. Perhaps focus more on the excitement part?

Good luck! Hope it goes well!
 
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chicgal is offline chicgal Post #6  May 5,2010, 11:17am
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Take it easy though its on a typical Friday night Date night....don't be to formal, stay relaxed and comfortable for this first meeting.
He'll be just as nervous.
Listen to something fun on your way there to help with the nerves.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #7  May 5,2010, 11:47am
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Try this on for size.

Think to yourself, there's nothing you can mess up. Just go in thinking that.

Really, what can you really do to scare someone off? You sound level headed enough to not do anything stupid like brandish a knife in your date's face laughing maniacally. (Wait a minute, one of my dates DID do that....hmmmm)

This is not the end of the world. This is not your last chance at happiness. This isn't even close. Go in knowing there will be many more like this.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #8  May 5,2010, 12:24pm
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OP.....the part about throwing up cracked me up. I literally laughed out loud. I so know how you feel. I remember feeling that exact way. I found myself doing a lot of cleaning that day to keep myself busy.

Make sure you have a cute outfit. Feeling good about the way you look makes a difference.

Be sure to come back on Friday night afterward and let us know how it went.

Smile
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #9  May 5,2010, 12:31pm
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itsanewworld wrote :
the first date is on friday night. the first one since I became single. I'm getting more and more nervous. does anyone have specific tips on what to do to stay calm and make a good first impression? I looked for articles here, but real people advice usually helps me more than articles.

I'm thinking if I paste a big smile on as I walk into the room, that will help me not show him just how nervous I am. but I don't want to look fake either. any tips?

thanks. I think I'm going to go throw up now.
Itsanewworld, I know exactly how you feel -- I had my first date as a single person again after 10 years last February and I was so nervous. I had to go for a walk after the date to work out some of the nerves still even though it was over.

Try to relax by not expecting this guy to be "The One". That puts a lot of pressure on it to be the perfect date, and can lead to a lot of disappointment right at the start. If nothing else, this is your first date back in the game, and should be enjoyed as such. As others also said, you can be sure that he will be nervous too, if that helps. Smile if it seems right -- but I'm sure it will. Don't force it.

Good luck and I hope you'll report back in to us on how it goes.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #10  May 5,2010, 12:58pm
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itsanewworld wrote :
the first date is on friday night. the first one since I became single. I'm getting more and more nervous. does anyone have specific tips on what to do to stay calm and make a good first impression? I looked for articles here, but real people advice usually helps me more than articles.
Realize it's normal to feel that way, especially if you haven't dated in a while.

Don't worry about impressing the other person. That will just make you more nervous, which will have the opposite effect. This is not an audition or job interview.

Just go expecting to possibly meet a new friend. I say possibly because if this is the first time you've met in person, there's a good chance at least one of you won't want another date, which is fine.
 
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