A girl tells me to act like a 'poofer' to get the girl


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mgsrandom is offline mgsrandom Post #1  May 4,2010, 10:28pm
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Hi all,

First time poster. This friend of mine, who's a girl, (I'm a guy) tells me that guys should act like the 'poofer' you guys describe once I have the girl's interest in order to get her to miss me and realize how much she likes me.

I strongly disagree with her since I don't believe in playing games and want to be genuine and authentic.

She has the whole system all worked out, she says shower her with attention, call all the time for the first month, then once she's into you, stop all forms of contact suddenly and do it for 10 days. And she'll miss you so much that when you contact her in 10 days lying and saying that "I've been just so busy, I'm sorry", you'll "have her" for good.

If it sounds like she's a teenager, we're both around ~30. It's interesting that a girl is the one encouraging guys to engage in this behavior.

Although it seems like most of the poofers described here are really not interested and never come back.

I'm just curious what you think from both genders on what my friend says.
Last edited by mgsrandom; May 4,2010 at 10:35pm.
 
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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #2  May 4,2010, 10:54pm
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Don't play games with her, unless it's nintendo. ; )

Game playing will only keep the wisest women away from you, and those can be the best long term partners.
 
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Avalon1k is offline Avalon1k Post #3  May 4,2010, 11:19pm
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Agreed....game playing is for teenagers.
 
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cats1 is offline cats1 Post #4  May 5,2010, 12:04am
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The person who is giving you this bad advice probably wants to date you herself but would rather manipulate you into being single forever than ask you out.

If you play games you will come off to anyone with at least average intelligence as a stupid loser with low self esteem whose real self is not worth bringing to the table, that you cannot lead with the real you because the real you is so awful that you must hide it until you "hook" someone. Similarly you will end up with a stupid loser with low self esteem whose real self is not worth bringing to the table.

When you "poof" on someone presumably as a way to "hook" them it also means you are someone who does not mind hurting people who don't deserve to be hurt and you can do so casually and easily as a way to try to manipulate them into doing what you want. Yuck! Remember your personality will change according to the things you do - so if you callously and manipulatively hurt people who don't deserve to be hurt then I am sure you can guess the type of person you are. Wait, the fact that you would even consider it means you might already be such a person - I changed my mind, If you think it will help you to become a poofer, go ahead with that, it might be more consistent with your personality. She knows you so maybe that's why she suggested it. Yuck!
 
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Jared_G is offline Jared_G Post #5  May 5,2010, 12:19am
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[quote=cats1]The person who is giving you this bad advice probably wants to date you herself but would rather manipulate you into being single forever than ask you out.

If you play games you will come off to anyone with at least average intelligence as a stupid loser with low self esteem whose real self is not worth bringing to the table, that you cannot lead with the real you because the real you is so awful that you must hide it until you "hook" someone. Similarly you will end up with a stupid loser with low self esteem whose real self is not worth bringing to the table.

When you "poof" on someone presumably as a way to "hook" them it also means you are someone who does not mind hurting people who don't deserve to be hurt and you can do so casually and easily as a way to try to manipulate them into doing what you want. Yuck! Remember your personality will change according to the things you do - so if you callously and manipulatively hurt people who don't deserve to be hurt then I am sure you can guess the type of person you are. Wait, the fact that you would even consider it means you might already be such a person - I changed my mind, If you think it will help you to become a poofer, go ahead with that, it might be more consistent with your personality. She knows you so maybe that's why she suggested it. Yuck! [/quote]

I agree with most of your post except for the last part. Really? I’ve considered punching my boss in the face several times but that certainly doesn’t mean I’m that type of person or that I would honestly do it. I’m 26 and I’ve never even been in a fight!

The simple act of contemplation or consideration does not reveal character. Actions do that.

But all this aside, I personally don’t think “games” are the way to go. Go at your speed. If you like the woman then let her know. Now I’m not suggesting you lay it all out there and overwhelm her, I don’t think many women like that, but consistently doing nice things for her and reinforcing your interest for her over the long run sounds like the better idea. I agree with your gut on this one. Your friend is giving you bum gouge.
Last edited by Jared_G; May 5,2010 at 2:43am. Reason: Formatting issues.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #6  May 5,2010, 2:39am
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mgsrandom wrote :
Hi all,

First time poster. This friend of mine, who's a girl, (I'm a guy) tells me that guys should act like the 'poofer' you guys describe once I have the girl's interest in order to get her to miss me and realize how much she likes me.

I strongly disagree with her since I don't believe in playing games and want to be genuine and authentic.

She has the whole system all worked out, she says shower her with attention, call all the time for the first month, then once she's into you, stop all forms of contact suddenly and do it for 10 days. And she'll miss you so much that when you contact her in 10 days lying and saying that "I've been just so busy, I'm sorry", you'll "have her" for good.

If it sounds like she's a teenager, we're both around ~30. It's interesting that a girl is the one encouraging guys to engage in this behavior.

Although it seems like most of the poofers described here are really not interested and never come back.

I'm just curious what you think from both genders on what my friend says.
Good grief !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK listen up:

Ima axe you somet'ing....

This friend of yours, what does she do for a living?

My best guess is that she is employed by the U.S. Department of Defense, and she is a strategist tasked with defining the mission, end game, and tactics for the war in Afghanistan. < dripping sarcasm >
Last edited by 6dle899; May 5,2010 at 2:46am. Reason: edited for spelling, <------- mua hahahahahahaha !!!
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #7  May 5,2010, 4:36am
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LOL....this post just cracked me up. I think your little friend is either intent on making sure you never ever stay in a relationship or at the very least never end up in a healthy relationship with anyone.

First of all any normal woman who has some shred of intelligence and self respect will not forgive you that kind of drama and treatment. If you walk out of her life like that, you will stay out and that will be her choice. She will not be relieved to hear from you in 10 days, she will make sure she never hears from you again. It's game over.

In fact about the only kind of a girl with whom something like that would work is someone who is emotionally unstable, no self esteem whatsoever and a complete doormat. Of course if she is all that, then she is already a doormat who is clinging to you better than velcro, so why play emotional games and increase the cling factor?

Bottom line is that what your little friend is proposing is a very cruel play on a person's emotions and a gamble on how that person will react. The fact that you don't recognize this is rather disturbing.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #8  May 5,2010, 4:48am
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I don't think she really meant poofer.. my guess she meant be a little more aloof, but that's besides the point..

Either she is someone who enjoys the chase or as your friend is giving you advice, because she knows you're a little overbearing/smothering with women.

Bottom line, being aloof or a poofer on purpose is game playing in my book.

My advice is to take her advice, and stick out on the curb with the rest of the trash!
Last edited by TrekRyder10; May 5,2010 at 4:50am.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #9  May 5,2010, 5:08am
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With friends like that, who needs enemies?
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #10  May 5,2010, 5:16am
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Mokkesofie wrote :
With friends like that, who needs enemies?
I like enemies.. who's house am I supposed to toilet-paper the night before Halloween..
 
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