javajunkie is offline javajunkie Post #1  May 3,2010, 9:45am
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Alright. I've been on a few dates with this guy and Saturday night he asked me to a BBQ with all his friends. I think this MIGHT mean he likes me, but I'm not sure. A couple weeks ago we went out and I invited him in when he dropped me off. We did not have sex, but we did make out. Saturday, after the BBQ, he dropped me off but I did not ask him in. It was super late (3 AM) and I figured he was tired. Now, I think I may have messed everything up! HELP!! What do I do????
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #2  May 3,2010, 9:49am

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javajunkie wrote :
Alright. I've been on a few dates with this guy and Saturday night he asked me to a BBQ with all his friends. I think this MIGHT mean he likes me, but I'm not sure. A couple weeks ago we went out and I invited him in when he dropped me off. We did not have sex, but we did make out. Saturday, after the BBQ, he dropped me off but I did not ask him in. It was super late (3 AM) and I figured he was tired. Now, I think I may have messed everything up! HELP!! What do I do????
Relax. It has only been literally less than a couple days.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #3  May 3,2010, 9:56am
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Well, you might be writing about a whole different set of problems if you had invited him in at 3:00 am...lol. (No; you didn't mess up. And, of course he likes you. Why else would he be asking you out? )
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #4  May 3,2010, 9:56am
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How did you mess up? It was extremely late and your thoughts were legitimate. Unless he is really a jerk, he knows and wouldn't make a big deal about this.

Just continue the way you had been communicating as before.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  May 3,2010, 10:05am
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Don't see where you messed up. If he considers that because you did not invite him in is a deal breaker then is this really someone that you want in your life anyway?
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #6  May 3,2010, 2:08pm
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You didn't mess up at all! Mmmmmmm BBQ!!!!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  May 3,2010, 2:16pm
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I have passed up invitations from a Lady to go into her home, if I'm tired ... because, I really was tired, and don't want to be driving home even later.

If he had a longish drive, it may have been courteous to offer him a place to stay ...

Though, if he had planned the timing of the evening, that's a good defense if it ever comes up - which I'd doubt.

If I'd been an a few dates, and had been driving a partner, and she wasn't inviting me in, I would be concerned that she wasn't interested in me - or had something in her home that she didn't want me to see.

It may make sense to think about how to design your next communication to deal with a concern like that?
Last edited by D_Lion; May 3,2010 at 2:26pm.
 
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nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #8  May 3,2010, 2:50pm
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How do you think you messed up?
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #9  May 3,2010, 3:02pm

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See-no one thinks you messed up..and you're not committed to always inviting him into the house after a date either. He might have had hopes but surely not expectations, after all, you haven't been dating that long.

Take a deep breath, step back, relax and enjoy the process of learning about someone. He likes you..he wouldn't introduce you to friends if he didn't, would he?

Heres a thought. If he has been making the plans so far, why not try and make them this time? See whats going on in your community next weekend...maybe a concert or play or wine tasting..something fun. Something YOU like to do-share a bit of yourself with him.

Then call him up and invite him to go-and pay his way, if he'll let you. Be a bit forward even! According to the men I've dated and many of the guys here, most men like the woman to ask them out occasionally!

And remember to have fun too!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  May 3,2010, 3:16pm
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RoxyRedhead wrote :
Heres a thought. If he has been making the plans so far, why not try and make them this time? See whats going on in your community next weekend...maybe a concert or play or wine tasting..something fun. Something YOU like to do-share a bit of yourself with him.

I almost added this, too.

This is what I'd be looking for, to get past the sense that my partner didn't have any interest in me.
 
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