Too Good To Be True?

Some people will choose to stay in a tumultuous relationship that is doomed for failure rather than break up with someone and be independent out of fear. And, this, I really believe is what drives this perception that one is "too good to be true." What the person is really saying I believe is "He's too good for ME." In other words, "I don't deserve him."

Whenever I listen to someone say that someone is "too good to be true" I think that says more about the person saying it than the person they believe is too good to be true.

No, you're right. There are a lot of people, both men and women, who seem to be perpetually involved in relationships.

I do disagree that women will choose not to be with a guy who seems "to good to be true". There's no such thing as a genuinely unselfish person. Granted, there are genuinely "good" people, but even the good people are selfish. There is no such thing as an unselfish act. You can rationalize how "good" of a thing it was that you gave some lady flowers, but in the end you had selfish reasons, whether you admit it, acknowledge it, or not. Maybe you just wanted to make her feel good, which in return made you feel good that you made someone else feel good. That's selfish by definition. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. I stand by my theory that actions speak louder than motivation.

Me, I'm like you. Although I did get divorced, I am happily single and choose to remain so for quite some time. I just don't see any real advantage for a man to get married compared to how much he has to give up. I've never been one who needed to be with someone, so maybe I'm different from most people. I don't know. What I do know is that maybe you and I see this "tue good to be ture" thing much differently. Where as you see a woman who thinks "this guy is too good to be true so I'm going to stick with him", I see a woman who is co-dependent.

Doesn't this come back to the bad boy thing? Women love bad boys. Period.

I agree that love to a certain extent can be selfish at times, but isn't it also true that it has more to do with us being happy? The fulfillment of happiness by giving love and affection then having that love and affection reciprocated back towards us is what we are all here for IMHO. Nothing in this life is one-sided. I totally believe in the yin-yang philosophy. There must be balance in life. Nature would not be able to have life without death, war without peace, love without lust, wealth without poverty, happiness without pain. When a guy gives a woman flowers he simultaneously wants to elicit a positive response from her because he desires her AND because of that desire he wants to make her feel desired and appreciated. So, it kind of works both ways. Yes, there is that selfish gene and by that I don't mean a guy named Gene. There is a selfish part of our genetic makeup which wants to feel better about ourselves and happy, but what's wrong with that? So long as love is not one-sided, then what's the problem? If we can feel better AND most importantly, make the other person feel better I don't see what the problem is.