would you let him pick you up at home for the first date?


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itsanewworld is offline itsanewworld Post #1  April 30,2010, 6:47pm
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I am going to have a first date in a few days with an eharmony match. Now, before you guys think I'm crazy for considering letting him come to my house to pick me up, the circumstances make it much less so.

Turns out that this guy knows several people I do. So that means he really is who he says he is. And I know this for a fact. He's a very stable, normal guy who is a dad and successful businessman. And who knows about 8-9 people I know well. And a couple of whom I have discreetly confirmed have seen him in the past week!

So, that said, would it be totally crazy/inappropriate for me to have him pick me up at home? I am so much more comfortable meeting someone on my own turf rather than a public place. I just get SO nervous walking into that door at a public place that my terror is reflected in my behavior and nervousness and I don't make a good first impression because they think I'm unfriendly, when I'm totally the opposite. But if the guy comes to my house, it is so much better and I feel so much more in charge and I'm able to smile and be myself from the start.

Thoughts? Is this something feasible? I am just talking about having him pick me up at the door and driving to a nearby restaurant. Not sitting down and making out in my living room in the first five minutes!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  April 30,2010, 6:52pm
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I met close to half my partners at either my house or their home (about half of those lived with her parents.)

I would be fine with this.
 
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SweetKisses is offline SweetKisses Post #3  April 30,2010, 6:57pm
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In the past, I've had several online dates pick me up on the first date. I don't think it's a good idea and I don't do that anymore, but I did always let someone know who I was with and where I was going, and nothing bad ever happened. Since you have mutual friends with the guy, I don't think it would be terrible to have him pick you up, but you still might want to consider meeting him at the restaurant just because if you two don't really hit it off, he won't have to drive you back home and he won't have to know where you live. I know meeting up somewhere can be awkward (and I personally HATE driving, so I love to have someone else drive whenever possible), but I no longer get in cars with men until date two or three.
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itsanewworld is offline itsanewworld Post #4  April 30,2010, 7:01pm
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thanks! whew! at least I'm not nuts for considering it. that's a big plus. and yeah...the romance part. that's what's missing if I meet him at the restaurant. I love the idea of it feeling more traditional from the get go.

and of course there is a chance we won't hit it off, but I feel like we've talked enough on the phone, and via email, that we will be friendly no matter what. my friends who know him like him quite a bit, so I don't think he will be obnoxious and irritating. I've been on that blind date already! So I"m familiar with that one!!!
 
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itsanewworld is offline itsanewworld Post #5  April 30,2010, 7:01pm
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thanks! whew! at least I'm not nuts for considering it. that's a big plus. and yeah...the romance part. that's what's missing if I meet him at the restaurant. I love the idea of it feeling more traditional from the get go.

and of course there is a chance we won't hit it off, but I feel like we've talked enough on the phone, and via email, that we will be friendly no matter what. my friends who know him like him quite a bit, so I don't think he will be obnoxious and irritating. I've been on that blind date already! So I"m familiar with that one!!!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  April 30,2010, 7:19pm
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This is a choice best considered if you have the command over your choices in the moment, whatever the moment(s) may present.

I favor one car, but nearly all women do not.
 
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szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #7  May 1,2010, 3:16am
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It's not the creep factor or safety issues I would worry about most. It's the fact that the date could turn unsuccessful, then you have to ride all the way back home with that person to get dropped off.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  May 1,2010, 7:28am
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Just because you and he know some of the same people still does not make being picked up at your home a good idea. I suspect that the acquaintances that you share in common are not close friends of both of you. Somewhere in these posts is a similar thread and a story of a girl who was introduced to a guy by a friend who had worked closely with the guy for years. Turned out he was a convicted felon and had managed to keep this secret from all his co-workers.

If you are meeting a date that you do not previously know personally from somewhere else it is best to follow the safety guidelines that eHarmony suggests. Don't reveal personal information too soon. Meet first at a public place with a lot of people around. And as szgorzelski pointed out if the date goes bad you want a way to escape.

Good luck and have fun.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #9  May 1,2010, 7:50am

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hey I'd never pick up any women, cause most of them are very heavy!
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #10  May 1,2010, 11:05am

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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No.

Absolutely not.
 
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