bella8bella is offline bella8bella Post #1  April 30,2010, 5:53pm
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I'm just curious to hear opinions on fuzzy memories. For instance, let's say the person you're dating says something to the effect of "oh that's right I remember, you hate golf" when in fact you enjoy golf and have told them so in the past. That is just an example, to try to illustrate my question. Does it indicate maybe they mix you up with someone else? Or maybe they just have a bad memory? Obviously some things would be worse than others (like calling you the wrong name). Just curious what people think!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  April 30,2010, 6:11pm
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I have found that my memory is nowhere near what it used to be, so my inclination is to grant benefit of the doubt, in this sort of situation.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  April 30,2010, 6:12pm
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At least they got the "golf" part right...
probably not real important or meaningful to them, so that's why they didn't remember it.

Or.....maybe they did a lot of drugs at one time.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #4  April 30,2010, 6:16pm
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Unless it's on almost every fact, like or dislike or super important info (allergies to foods, diabetic partner, etc) I would just call it a bad memory. Now, this also goes into how prevalent this annoying memory issue is.

My son's father is horrible with remembering things and actually seems to create things that have never happened in his head. He won't remember what time he was asked to pick up his son. Yet, he will insist he told me that he was planning a trip on a weekend he was supposed to have him, on XYZ date. Then when I don't remember this fact (he never told me in the first place), I'm purposely ignoring him.

Creating facts about another person (hating golf when in fact you don't) could just be a minor fact that was said in passing and he/she doesn't really remember. I know I will confuse things a bit when it comes to non everyday issues.
 
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username_already_exists is offline username_already_exists Post #5  April 30,2010, 6:37pm
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especially when multi-dating, confusing a few facts, repeating a story, or some othe minor error would not cause me concern - whether it was done by the person I am dating or done by me.

memory slips happen.
 
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bella8bella is offline bella8bella Post #6  April 30,2010, 7:00pm
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I am inclined to think it a minor slip as well. But Kitty - what if it weren't multi-dating, only dating eachother, would that make a difference?
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #7  April 30,2010, 10:29pm
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I don't tend to get people mixed up since i only date one at a time, but i've been on dates where women have been talking about my likes and dislikes and it's clear they're thinking of someone else entirely.
I generally just make a joke of it since it is something i've grown up with, my mum cycles through every name in the family before hitting the right one, and for years after splitting up with one long term girlfriend all girlfriends were called by her name.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #8  April 30,2010, 10:48pm
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When you're ten years old, and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #9  May 1,2010, 5:40am
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Oregon_Coast_Guy wrote :
When you're ten years old, and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again.
Strange... that's not how I remember it...
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #10  May 1,2010, 5:57am
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I have a very fuzzy memory! I am not multi-dating, but I am constantly multi-tasking. Everyday, I have too many things running through my head simultaneously, and I talk to various people at work, then my boyfriend in the evening. I sometimes can't remember if I've already told him something, or if I actually had that conversation with the woman in the office next to mine or my Mom (if it's the weekend and not the work week), so I'm constantly asking if I've mentioned something before.

Give your dates the benefit of the doubt, because some of us struggle to remember conversations, even when we really care what the other person has to say.
 
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